Lady And The Tramp
by Jemmasgiirl
Summary: What if Emma & Jay began fooling around BEFORE the shooting? The start of season 4. Would it last? Would he pick her even over Alex and not just the ravine girls? What if Emma finds out too that Jay was one of the reasons Rick did what he did. Will she be hurt? Could he be forgiven? Are they falling in love or just falling apart with another? (One of my best stories I think. READ!)
1. What Do You Want With Me

How did it start you would ask? How the hell did **he** get Emma Nelson to fool around with a guy like him? Or a guy in _general._ Didn't she stand for virtue? Course she did.

It all started like this...

Well, he had a wandering eye when he was with Alex. Or with any girl before Alex, he always had. Never one to stick with just one girl. But this time this girl was unlike the rest... because it was **her. **_Greenpeace._** Emma Nelson.**

She walked back into school this year with a whole new look. Sure the eyes, mouth, face and body were the same but for once she was _showing it off_. . and damn did she have a good reason too. You know, at first when he tried to fight it, he tried to get **mad** at her some more, try to keep hating her by thinking she was a hypocrite to wear clothes like she was now, or actually caring about her makeup and hair done or how her giggle sounded- _okay maybe she didn't __**care **__about that__**. But it still pissed him off how good it sounded and that he liked it**__. _

Jay didn't _like_ girls, he used them when he needed them. So how dare Emma even try to make him like her?

_She _made him have a wandering eye even when he tried not to, and _she _made him wonder. You know, actually made him think. Pissed him off sometimes.. he couldn't count how many times he caught himself having a cigerette of the Degrassi steps outside and thinking about her or watching her hand out those stupid environment flyers with her slutty friend.

The sun hit against her body and face always so perfectly, like she was always in the spotlight as if she wasn't enough already with the kind of mouth she had on her.

"_Nobody wants to breath in your second hand cancer_." she'd taunt him as she passed when she walked back up into school.

Towerz would smirk in a taunting way, Sean (her ex) would just stare down cause he's still her little pet deep down, and Alex would make a remark and roll her eyes at her. Jay? He would snicker and try to glare as he also tried to think of something witty to say..

"_Nobody wants to see your __**face**__ this early in the morning_. Call it even." he'd taunt back. **Yea**. Not his best. He was losin his game. He knew it. He couldn't deny he also may be a little hooked on seeing _that face _every morning. How'd she manage to be such a morning person? Always ready, never a bag under her eyes..

Jay may of felt a little satisfaction knowing she was single and that was his doing. Sean Cameron, though a good guy and friend but Jay had to admit, was the _dumbest idiot_ alive to let that girl go when she shouldn't of even given Cameron the chance.

She didn't look at guys like Jay, or Sean..least, she shouldn't of...and out of stupidity, she thought Sean was different. He wasn't. He liked the rush of stealing, skipping school, being free just like the rest of the crew. Who wouldn't? Except for this unusual type girl of course... yet, for being so opposite of Jay, I guess you'd called it karma that Jay had a bit of a, dare he say it.._crush_ on her. Now Jay Hogart didn't 'crush' anyone. If you were hot, cool, they'd hook up once and be done with it. But Emma was different...that sun wasn't going to stop shining on her, even if she stood alone in the dark with him.

Alex was getting so wrapped up in that damn stupid school president thing. Sometimes Jay was starting to think she was such a poser, to both worlds. Girl didn't know **where **she fit in or wanted to. So he hung out with Sean more, til that vampire freak moved in with him, then the two were in 'lala' land and Jay hated being around them.

Then one day.. he noticed Emma not around her little followers either. He had walked by the Library when he saw her, gazing into her books and her face ever so content and almost _enjoying_ reading. See? She was a little freak. A hot one though.

When Jay opened the door of the Library, she looked up, and noticed him actually stop and look around in a bit of almost enchantment.

Emma had to giggle a little, brushing the bangs against her forehead before gazing back down at her book, "It's a _Library." _she sang tauntingly and got back into reading

Funny seeing **him** here.

There was only one other guy in the room, some ginger shrivelled up in the book isle and the Liberian, she was probably reading some romance novel or soft porno by the looks of it over at the counter, holding one book in hand and a Kleenex in the other.

Jay rolled his eyes but then smirked to _another _one of Emma's remarks at him. You know, Alex was mouthy, but not clever..not smart. Emma though..

"What are you doing?" he asked a bit curiously, sitting down next to her at the table.

Emma put her science text book down a bit to look over at him a little lost, confused really. She was probably wondering if they were _really _going to have some chit chat or just start bickering any time now. As much as Jay loved to get her rattled up right now, he'd rather not end the conversation so soon yet.

"Studying." she finally sighs, straightening her book back up in her hands, "You can do that in here. Or read a book.." she drifts sarcastically as she kept her eyes on her textbook, "Or go on the computer where you tap your fingers onto a keyboard and it writes things **for you.**" for a second, she kept a hard stone face on, but then he saw that little sly smile creep out and she peaked at him for a second.

"Hardly something I'd be into." he replied with as much humour, sarcasm and a smirk on his face.

Oh that Hogart signature smirk.

"What did I do to _deserve_ this _lovely _visit from you?" Emma taunted him, flipping a page over to continue her reading and looked as if it annoyed her that he was there.

He decided to ignore it.

"Where's your dweebish friends?" he asked, "Or that slutty girl."

"Toby, J.t and Manny." Emma corrected, putting her book down and finally huffed, "Everybody has names, Jay." she shot a look at him.

"Greenpeace, you _know_ that's not true." he said sing song like.

Emma shook her head smiling a bit. It was interesting that everyone usually got some noun for their nicknames Jay made up for them but Jay gave her an **actual** nickname, a title. It was almost cute. _Almost. _He may have the looks and charm but he wasn't foolin' her.

"Where's your _delightful _girl friend and posse?" she shot back.

"Touche" he replied, and leaned back, fixing the hat on his head and shrugged, "Lexy thinks she's some special acceptation to the 'popular crowd' and trying to fit in, and your little ex of a boyfriend is following Nash around like a puppy dog."

Emma even rolled her eyes just by the mention of Sean.

Jay couldn't help but lean back a bit more, eyeing her, "So _this." _she watched his finger move slowly down her body and back up, his grey eyes unreadable, "This for him? Or you?"

Emma looked at him confused. Then her face almost seemed _offended?_

Her 'new look' right? That's what he was talking about? Jesus, some guys of this school! As if a girl can't just get rid of her braces and get a new wardrobe and everyone NOT think she was trying to have some makeover or something? She's the same girl, same brain, same Emma.

"What?!" Jay shot up, seeing her start to slam her textbooks onto another and go to pick them up and leave and he grabbed her wrist.

She looked down at him when she stood up and shot a glare, "_No_, it's not for _him._ I could give a **damn **about Sean Cameron." she states, "Or Chris Sharpe." she added, "Or Manny, or any of my friends for that matter." she went to go and he actually struggled to push her back down into her seat and shush her.

He looked around, still shocked by her reaction and the ginger and Liberian even tossed them over a few weird looks and he tightened a fake grin to gesture that everything was cool.

Emma was a bit embarrassed by her outburst, and flushed, as she noticed the looks so tried to take a deep breath and leaned back in her chair in a huff.

"Chill out, psycho ." Jay taunted in a whisper and teased, "Alright, understood. You don't give a '_dam_n'." his eyes locked on hers as he raised an eyebrow to her choice of word there.

Emma rolled her eyes but a little smile crept out. So he was making fun of her cause what, she didn't say 'shit'? She had a reputation for a reason.

He smirked a bit back and then asked, "So where's Tony, Jake and Mandy?"

Emma had to laugh, "You're such a jerk." she said out loud. He STILL couldn't even get the names right when he tried. But... he was at least trying.

Wait.

Why'd **he care?**

"What's it matter to you?" she arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him, "Going to just throw it in my face that I have no friends now?"

Jay raised his eyebrows, thinking about it, "No." he promised then wiggled his finger around the room, "See any with me?"

"It's different." muttered Emma, leaning forward on the table and just gazing sadly down at it.

Jay took his hat off, watching her at the corner of his eye as he ran a hand through his brown hair and put his hat back on as he waited for her to go. When he was slowly getting the hint she may of not wanted to talk about it, she spoke.

"I kinda did do something a bit.." she looked for the word, "Cruel, to Liberty."

"Did you let her know overalls were so 1990's?" he joked.

Emma shot him a glare but her eyes sparkled and he knew she was just trying so hard to hide that laugh and that made him grin.

She looked up, remembering what happened with her friends the other week, "She liked my ex. But just because I didn't want him to date her I pretended I wanted him back. Ruined her chance."

"Did she really have one?" snorted Jay.

Emma gave him that 'nevermind, I'm done' look and went to sit up til he grabbed her arm down and she flunked back in her seat.

"Alright so, you back with that wanna be DJ idiot then?" he asked her, slightly interested and narrowed his eyes

She shook her head no, "Called it off, never wanted him back in the first place. He was just a rebound."

"To Cameron."

She and him shared a knowing look.

"So." Jay sat up, itching his head like this was hard to get around, "You're alone in here and your friends abandoned you just because.. you didn't want your friend to date your ex?"

Emma nodded.

He snickered, "That's stupid." rolling his eyes and throwing his head back almost bored like since he had wasted that much time on wanting to hear that bullshit. He thought it'd be something interesting. .

She shook her head, "She liked him. I hurt her feelings." she explained and muttered, "Wouldn't expect you to understand how feelings work." she shot a quick look at him.

Jay sat up, going over her problem like it was the simplest solution, "Even if you didn't want him back, he's still like..your sloppy seconds, a _friend_ shouldn't go for that. And he obviously wanted you back **still** since when you went to go for it, he wanted to too. Van Zandt couldn't see that? Cause that's not attractive. There's also how many other guys in this school she could pick from?" he had to smirk, "Then again I guess the picks not so big of a number for her."

Emma slapped his shoulder and got up, "Ok, I'm done trying to have a _civilized _conversation with _you_." she taunted, throwing her little beige leather back over her shoulder and it went down to her waist where she could shove her books inside.

Jay shook his head confused, **and insulted.** He turned his head to glare and watch her storm out but couldn't help but soften and watch her long legs in that skirt charge out the door, hips swaying.

Emma opened her locker just as Jay leaned on the locker beside and she sighed. She thought she lost him.

"What do you want Jay?" she groaned, throwing her stuff into her locker as the bell rang and students began to come in from lunch.

"I told you already." he said, as he began to stare down at her tight little baby blue blouse and two un did buttons on the top and snapped out of it when she looked over at him, "_friendship." _he grinned.

She snickered, halfly rolling her eyes as she grabbed her next classes binder, "You're clearly up to _something._" she informed, raising an eyebrow at him.

"No, up to nothing. Remember?" he pointed around them and then stepped a bit closer, eyeing students walk past so they didn't hear him, "I'm lonely, you're lonely. Let's not be lonely together."

She tossed him a look.

He rolled his eyes bitterly, "Not like that." he tried to muster up a sneer, "You think I'm interested?" he snorted sarcastically but his eyes seemed to glance back down at those long tanned legs again.

"You're interested in _something _and I never said with what." she shot back, slamming her locker closed with one hand.

He had to smirk. See? Quick wit, smart. Mouthy.

"I don't have any classes with you for you to copy my work." she tried to think about it, "And I don't have any power to make my step dad undo any detentions if he's given you any today... and 'friends' or not, I won't stop bugging you about littering or bullying. So what do you want from **me**?" she put a hand on her hip..oh those damn curvy hips.

All those sweaters last year he never saw she even had those type of hips...so hour glass like.

Damn. What was the question again? She was looking at him like he was growing two heads..Oh right! What'd he wanna be friends for.

"Your usual annoying banter." he teased, leaning more on the locker as she stood infront of him, "Gets the day by." he shrugged like it should be simple and understanding

Emma watched him oddly, "that's all?"

"that's all." he grinned innocently, which made it much more eviler but Emma honestly couldn't think **why **he'd wanna be around her?

Last year they were at another's throats.

Emma opened her mouth and he waited for the rejection . I don't know, maybe he knew it was coming but hey? Why not try?

He then noticed her eyes trail across the hall and she seemed distracted and the look in her eyes went a bit ..gloomy. He turned to look what she was looking at. Her friends stood at a locker, and the slut one did glance back over too and tried not to look back when she saw Emma standing with the one and only Jay Hogart.

"Screw em." he said, looking back at Emma when he saw Van Zandt glance to whatever Manny looked at and saw Emma so she glared.

Rather harshly too.

They both peaked one more time over at her 'ex-friends' to see even Toby and J.t looking over now, mouths hanging.

She was with _Jay Hogart?_

"Your friends already look a little jealous of your new bestie." Jay sarcastically said sing song like with that taunting smirk as she glanced at him but laughed and shook her head.

"Or they're worried." she corrected, then began to shake her head no, "You're bad news Jay." she went to walk away and he blocked her.

He put his hands up like she was a cop, "I promise no stealing, no cursing, and no bullying while I'm around you."

Emma stared at him in utter shock and then disbelieve but he gave her a look of promise, and then a small puppy look. She then just looked downright confused... why did he want this so damn bad?

Didn't he know how much this would also piss off Alex? Or Sean for that matter..

She then began to consider it, and added, "That _would_ be a good reason to tolerate you but.."

"But what?"

Jay grinned, seeing she was stumped on the cons of this situation and the late bell rung and she scoffed, "You're making me late." she stepped to right and he did as well to stop her and she shot a vicious glare.

Girl took her classes rather seriously.

"Emma _Nelson _is denying someone in need of _help_? What happened to your _help the helpless_ little protests and beliefs?"

"That was about dolphins.." she awkwardly reminded, and that was also last year.

He couldn't help but laugh out loud and looked like he even tried not to, but fuck, that was a little funny. She tried not to join, but Jay grinned, and she didn't know if it was his perfectly white teeth, or fullness of his lips or the smallest hint of dimples that made it so adorable but it was, and it was a **real **laugh and she tossed in a small giggle til rolling her eyes.

"Fine. Will you get out of my way now? My next class **is **my fathers class." she taunts.

He nodded, "Fine. Every other day, lunch in that Library." he pointed back where they were about 10minutes ago.

Emma glanced at it to then eye him again rather confused and oddly, but nodded, "Fine." with that, he took one step back and let her through.

He watched her join the busy crowd of students, going to their classes and he tilted his head a bit, trying to memorize those _legs _for his next boring class.

He then turned and jumped back a little, "Woah, you little friggin creep." he joked, putting a hand on Sean's shoulder who glared him in the eyes and then over his shoulder.

Let Jay guess, he saw him talking to Emma?

"What was that?" he barked.

Jay squinted his eyes at him. _Poor fucking guy tried to look like he didn't care about Blondie anymore.. how much he was failing in doing that._

"Playing around is all." Jay insisted with a shrug.

Sean seemed to believe that and softened but insisted back, "Don't be mean to her anymore, Jay. She's been putting up with Mr Simpsons cancer and he's just beaten it. Let them have some time to enjoy it."

Jay looked over his shoulder with a funny look. Oh..that's right. He completely forgot about that. She was gone, but he grinned in satisfaction that he could still remember those legs.

"Off to class." he informed and left Sean in the dust.


	2. Pretend to Be Friends

Emma's eyes squinted a little, sitting outside on a bench just in front of Degrassi, and she wondered as she watched Toby hanging with Rick Murray... how could they hang out with a guy who had put a girl into a coma? But not her, who just simply didn't want a friend to date her ex.

She shook her head out of it and decided to ignore it. It was stupid anyways. Least Paige was kinda hanging out with her here and there. They had some weird mutual respect for another, kind of a funny friendship. She noticed Jay was right though, Alex was around Paige's posse, pretending to be one of them.

Then there was Craig, when she hung around Paige especially during this return of Rick, at least he talked to her... still though, she missed _her _friends.

"Emma." she heard a voice and looked up.

Toby.

Wierd.

"Hi." she bluntly said, trying not to be rude but was shocked he was talking to her, but I guess it was something.

She glanced to see Rick beside him, smiling a bit sheepishly. As much as she wanted to tell the rumoured abusive freak to go away, she shut her mouth. She didn't want to ruin the only chance she had with Toby here.

"I don't wanna be part of this girl fight between you and Liberty, and Manny." Toby grumbled.

Emma blinked. But he was a part of it? He hadn't talked to her for a week and two days now. He had picked a side already..

Emma forced a smile and nodded, "Thanks Toby."

"for what?" snorted another voice, and a tall lean figure sat down next to her and it was the famous Jay Hogart.

I mean, who else could make Rick and Toby jump back like scared cats?

Jay held a small carton of chocolate milk that hadn't been open yet and shook it in his hands as he put on the sunglasses that were sitting on the top of his hat before.

"Oh. I get it" Jay nodded, pretending he understood and pointed to Toby from Emma, "She's saying thanks cause you're such a **good friend **to come say hi to her days and weeks after your little dork crew kicked her out."

Emma bit the end of her tongue, shooting Jay a look but didn't necessarily disagree with him and cornered her eyes to Toby for his explanation on that.

Toby nervously shifted but kindly, fearfully really, explained, "I didn't want to be between it."

"You weren't." Jay shot back, raising an eyebrow, "You were on _Over-all wearing_ Van Zandts side."

Toby coughed slightly, "Emma, can we talk in class?"

She just nodded, and Toby nodded for Rick to follow him, but heard Jay mutter boredly 'loser'.

"Good day." Rick said whisper like and passed Emma another small smile and kept going. He sorta knew her now, she was in his classes... she was brilliant. And pretty.

Jay caught that look of Ricks and snickered, "freak." he opened his drink finally when the guys left.

"what do you want?" Emma taunted him.

Jay gulped the drink all in one go then chucked it away. When Emma thought he was just carelessly throwing it, she did notice and hear it hit the trash about 4 feet away.. alright, not so bad.

Jay reached into his pocket for something and he reminded, "We had a deal."

"Yea.." drifted Emma, remembering that scene from two days ago, "I can't do it, we can't pretend to be friends Jay. There's not one time I can think of where you don't drive me crazy."

Jay had got out a cigarette from his pocket and gave a small cackle as he put it in his mouth and talked from the corner of his mouth, "We had a deal." he muttered loudly and began to light the smoke.

Emma wrinkled her nose in disgust.

As he inhaled, his fingers took the smoke away from his lips, "Every other day for lunch, we're _friends_, Nelson. Deal with it."

"This deal isn't logical!" Emma insisted and grabbed the cigerette before he put it back in his mouth, "Nor healthy.." she taunted, putting the cigerette out-

"Hey!"

"..For my mind or lungs." she finished with a fake smile then frowned as she got up and grabbed her water bottle, leaving.

As she went up the stairs, he jogged behind her, "You know, no wonder you have no friends, you damn well push them away and bitch too much."

"What's the reason _you _don't have any?" Emma taunted right back.

He nearly growled and jumped back before the door she whipped open almost hit him. With that, her long legs walked quicker than him and he lost her.

Emma was in MI class next, and she hated sitting down at her seat infront of her computer because beside her, Manny sat.

The brunette wore her usual tight blue jeans, long straight hair in a cute side pony tail and wearing a sexy (maybe too sexy for school) shirt that showed off her new belly botton piercing.

Manny stopped as she noticed Emma already at her seat and she quickly looked away before sitting down and tried to pay attention to Snake starting his lesson.

Emma scowled a bit, clenching her jaw and watched the clock for this class to just _end_. She was so focused on it she never saw Manny turn her head a little and go to open her mouth. . but the way Emma looked right now, Manny decided to shut it. She didn't want to fight anymore, but she didn't want to be the one to say sorry. Emma was the one in the wrong, she was. Right?

Ugh.

The bell rang at the end of the day and Emma walked out fast, and went to her locker. As she shoved her books inside she couldn't help but glance back at the doorway of her class still exiting and Manny was walking out. She also noticed that Manny didn't go to J.t's locker like she usually did. .. . infact, if she knew Manny as well as she thought, she'd knew that she was glancing at J.T with a shameful look and sadly walked off.

Did the two break up?

They were always kind of a funny couple. .sorta puppy cute but definite no passion. Manny needed someone more-

Emma shook her head, slamming her door shut to leave the school but then stopped in her tracks when she almost bumped into someone. She stopped herself quick when she saw who it was, and she was sure if it was someone else, she probably would of just bumped into them but this one? This one she didnt even want to look at.

Sean Cameron.

He opened his mouth a bit, his eyes locking onto hers until she looked away and she just walked around him like they'd never shared anything together and he sighed, turning to look over his shoulder to watch her go.

"What the hell was that?" sneered Ellie down the hall, catching that small little scene as Alex leaned on the locker beside Jay's as he collected his, well to be honest, bag of weed and CDS for his car ride home. Not like he had any books..

He glanced over wondering what they were talking about and shoved his bag of drugs into his pocket as Alex spoke, "Another Sean and Nelson moment. Jealous?" she taunted the red head.

Ellie passed Alex a glare. The two had a weird love hate friendship.

"He looked like he _cared _or something."

Jay looked around the hall for Emma, but didn't see her, but saw Sean coming over to them and eyed him a bit bitterly.

Both the girls crossed their arms when Sean met up with them, but neither spoke.

"What?" Sean asked, passing Ellie a curious look and Alex a glare to get off his back.

Jay happily spoke up, "flirting with Greenpeace, Bam Bam? Thought we were over that." he taunted then nodded to Ellie, "Isn't that what _she's_ here for now?" he asked in wondering way.

Ellie and him just didn't rub the right way.

Jay didn't know how you went from dating an, okay kind of preachy and self rightous, _but kinda_ _one of the hottest girls in school_, girl... to **this**, whatever you'd call Ellie Nash..

Then again, what the hell kinda girl was Alex? Two years ago he'd say a bad girl, but now? Some prissy wanna be who still wore her bad girl clothes like a mans wife beater and baggy black pants... thank god she looked so much like a girl with medium brown hair and wore hoops in her ears and slight make up, or Jay couldn't see if she was a girl either

_long tan legs. Curly long blonde hair. Mini skirts. Slight natural tan and glow...that's what girls should always look like._

Jay snapped out of it when he heard a slight gasp and saw Ellie's mouth dropped and Sean's eyes widened a bit and they both glared at him.

Oh right, he had just called Sean out for whatever he was doing around Nelson

Alex laughed at her boyfriends usual dick move.

"I bumped into her. That was all." snapped Sean, rolling his eyes

Ellie smiled warmly and put her hand in his, "I believe you." she insisted and leaned in as they shared a small tender kiss.

Jay rolled his eyes rather noticeably, shaking his head and Alex snickered with him. Two seconds ago, Ellie was ready to jump down Sean's throat? Worst friggin couple. Though, Jay had no say.

"Coming to the ravine tonight?" Alex purred to him

He got lost in though, "Nah, going to go hang with Spin." he admitted and kinda actually liked the little doofus who shared math and english with him.

When Alex was around Paige and that gay kid, Spinner was near too so it seemed the only person to talk to was that guy. And then they actually talked, talked in class when Jay had heard Paige dumped him. They shared a small laugh at her dispense and I guess you could say it's been a beautiful friendship and since Sean was so m.I.a, Spinner was a good replacement (maybe even better since he smoked pot too and was single now)

Alex watched him go than boredly looked at Sean and Ellie, still in anothers embrace, "See yea lovebirds." she walked off.


	3. BOYS, Who Needs Them

"Hey Emma."

Emma turned from walking into the school the next day, and J.t had run to catch up with her. She sighed and adjusted her bag on her shoulder . Maybe Jay was right, they weren't worth it.

'Screw Em'

"Okay, I deserve that." J.t admitted, still keeping up with her from behind and then stood beside as she stopped at her locker.

"what do you want?" she asked, eyes still not connecting to his and putting her combination in her lock.

J.t smiled dorkily, "World peace."

Emma tried not to laugh but a smile crept out and she opened her locker.

"I've been a dick." J.t declared, "A terrible friend." he scrunched his face up, "to be honest, I don't even know why I'd pick Liberty's side over yours." him and Emma were quite close..

They both then remembered just why he would and spoke at the same time, "Manny."

Manny was on Libs side and he was dating her and it seemed now like he wasn't her pet anymore since he was making 'big boy' decisions himself.

"how about we both just...forget em?"

Emma smiled weakily but shrugged her shoulder and nodded, "sure." she said. J.t and her were always pretty good friends.

Not his fault he was such a clown and desperate for some girl attention.

"Walk you to class?" J.T said, putting his hand out

Emma smiled again and shut her locker but shoved him forward instead of taking his hand and they shared a laugh, going to class

"Ugh." spat Liberty, watching them go away and turned to Manny, "Guess we didn't think it through that when you dumped J.t, he'd go running to Emma."

Manny watched them go and turned to Liberty, "Yea well, makes sense. Would be awkward anyways hanging out with him right now."

"Boys." Liberty said, rolling her eyes, "Who needs them?

_you,_ Manny mentally said in her head and her eyes widened at herself. Then again, guess her mind was right, I mean, Liberty made such a big deal of Chris so she's a hypocrite to say she didn't 'need' them because she let one wreck a friendship..

A Good friendship

Manny watched Liberty and groaned, leaning back on her locker. She missed Emma. But the two of them were too proud to say it. And hearing Liberty go on and on for days about the dumbest stuff ( well I guess the smartest stuff, but Manny didn't see the fun in gossiping about math problems and chess club) just made her miss Emma more. Least with Em, yeah she was a smart girl, but she left her smarts back in her books when she hung out with friends, and she was able to just chill and relax, giggle once in a while and even talk boys, but Liberty? No way.

Around lunch, Emma snapped out of it when the bell rang and she even jumped, so lost in thought.

She got up and noticed Jay Hogart walk by her class rather quickly.

"lunch at the Dot?" J.T asked her, walking by and she glanced back at the door and nodded at J.t

"Yea, meet you there." she left in a hurry and J.t gave a look but shrugged and nodded

Emma had pushed through the crowd a bit, and looked around, to not see what she was looking for so turned back and went to find J.T so that they could just walk to the Dot together.

_That was stupid of her to try to catch up with him. They weren't friends.._

Emma bumped into someone and her books fell, just two of them, and when she went to grab them, they were grabbed for her.

"H-here you go Emma." Rick said, handing her book out for her.

Emma didn't take it yet, and stared a bit bluntly at him.

Down the hall, Jay came out of Detention room, loving that fact Mr Hall said he didn't even have detention today and instead, it was tomorrow. Jackpot! What a lucky day-

Jay stopped in his tracks, seeing Emma gazing at Rick and then slowly take a book from him and muttered something.

Probably a thankyou

As he walked over, his pace seemed to quicken when he noticed Rick begin to speak, as in converse, with Emma.

"So I was wond-" Rick was cut off when a hand had shoved his shoulder so hard, he was shoved two feet and if not for the lockers, would of fell down hard but instead, bashed into the lockers and leaned against it fearfully.

He looked back at Jay Hogart and swallowed hard.

"what is wrong with you!" Emma snapped at Jay, her eyes blazing. Maybe Rick had a bad past but atleast he hasn't done anything physically hurtful since he been back... meanwhile Jay was tossing bodies around like Charlie Bronson.

Jay kept a calm look while standing infront of her and sighed, "Well how _else _will he _learn_, Emma?" he asked sort of humour like.

Emma didn't find it funny and squinted her eyes madly at him and turned to walk off. She was stupid to think Jay would keep his word about no bullying around her and all the other things.

Jay stood in the middle of the hall and his mouth fell when she just walked off, clearly pissed at him

"What'd I Do?"


	4. She's So Mean

"She'd kill me." mummered Amy, "Oh god, she would she be so pissed...You like that, baby?...She can't find out..mmm..Tell me you want it"

Jay rolled his eyes, how could he want it when she wouldn't shut up and pulled away from his dick every time she went to speak instead of sucking.

He shifted up in his seat of his car, and zipped his pants up.

Amy sat up and blinked and looked confused, looked a bit like a dumbass actually, "You don't wanna fool around tonight?"

"Guess I'm not feelin it." he taunted, flicking on the stereo rather loudly and Creed began to play

She tried to shout over the music, "Was it because I brought Alex up?"

Jay had reached into his glove box infront of her and grabbed his pack of smokes and rolled his eyes, "Yes," he lied, "Out of all the 3 months of screwing around with you time to time, I _now _feel guilty."

The idiot nodded like now she understood and leaned forward, putting a hand on his thigh, "We can try again next weekend."

Jay just nodded sarcastically and shoved a cigerette into his mouth as he watched his liter in his hands light it and then he inhaled it as he got out of the car and back into the Ravine and just left her back in his orange civic.

The sun was almost going down, a bit of a grey gloomy sky and yet even if not late, a party was still happening. Kids still sat around a fire pit, getting it started for tonight. Beer packs everywhere... girls.

Though, since Jay parked a bit off from the party to go fuck around, he was a bit near the woods side with all the trees and a path where adults took walks or strools with their kids...or runs if you were a teenager...or a blonde..or Emma Nelson.

Jay snapped his eyes back to the blonde who stopped her running on the path infront of him when she noticed him too and his mouth slowly gaped, looking at her with her hair falling around her shoulders when she stopped. She was breathless, wore tight short black yoga shorts, and a tight red tank top that had ridden up a little to expose her skin between her belly botton and shorts line. She had slight sweat along her chest and neck yet when she had run by, she could still smell like vanilla and she could _still_ look good.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Emma gave him a weird look, an even odder one when she noticed his hat now on but his hair nice and short, styled messy like. Look actually good. She panted a little more trying to catch her breath as she glanced around behind him What was HE doing here?

She decided to ignore his question since her answer was obvious, "What's going on?" she saw people sitting on chairs about 10 feet away, cars parked, teens hangin out..didn't look so safe though.

Jay looked back, then slowly back at her with a small smirk, "You wouldn't be interested."

She tilted her head a bit and crossed her arms, "Why's that?"

"It's a place." he confirmed and she raised an eyebrow to the obvious, "Where people hook up." he rolled his eyes.

She flushed and he even swore he saw her blush. Yup. Virtue and all with this girl. He looked down at his cigerette, and decided to flick it away.

Emma looked a bit impress-

"Jay!" they both heard.

Jay even cringed when he knew from behind him, Amy had gotten out of his car and coming their way and Emma had seen her, and eyed Jay like she wasn't shocked (but still disappointed in his obvious actions)

"Even if they have girlfriends, huh?" Emma taunted, getting the picture now and tightened her arms that were still crossed over her chest and gave him an evil eye.

He caught Emma's eye and clenched his jaw, before sending Amy a glare when she walked to his side and slid a seductive hand on his arm.

"What's _she _doing here?" Amy asked in disgust, noticing 'Cause Girl'

"Hey." Jay says with a slight smirk, glancing at Emma longingly, "Just be happy she's not here to protest and ruin the party." he was more teasing Emma, than talking to Amy, but Amy laughed.

Emma and him just shared a look and Emma just went back to pushing her hair back and broke out into a run again.

Jay swallowed hard, watching the blonde fade into the woods down the path and looked up, seeing the sun was finally going down and it getting darker. She shouldn't be running around here so late.

"Come on." Amy pulled him away.

They walked to the bonfire where Jay grabbed a beer. He gulped half of it and whiped his mouth as he glanced back at the woods then turned back to Amy who smirked at him.

_**He's a cold-hearted snake  
Look into his eyes  
Oh oh oh  
He's been tellin' lies  
He's a lover boy at play  
He don't play by rules  
Oh oh oh  
Girl don't play the fool-no**_

_**(Paula Abdoul- Cold Hearted Snake)**_

Emma was studying the next day in the Library, her hair wavy today, bangs brushing against her forehead, curled eyelashes blinking each time she fixated on a new sentence. She wore a short jean skirt today and a white long tank top, with a PEACE gold chain bracelet around her wrist.

"So you changed your mind?" she heard his deep voice and didn't even need to look up.

"No. I come here." she informed, wiggling her book around as she kept reading, "Regularly." she looked up at Jay annoyed, "To read."

He smirked, sitting across from her and enjoyed her hard glare on him, her eyes had this fire in them and for such a 'sweet' girl with her kind of reputation, she could just look_ so_ cold when she got this mad. Kinda hot.

"Or maybe in the back of your head you thought.." Jay drifted, looking up almost wondrously, "I miss him." he smirked at her.

Emma tried to keep her anger down, this was a _library _and last time was kind of embarressing when she last yelled at him, "what's there to miss?" she calmly asked, giving him a fake sweet smile and he just passed her a real genuine one.

"I've been told I have _great personality."_ he mocked.

Emma laughed, she herself wasn't sure if it was bitter or not, "You're something you know?"

"Thanks Greenpeace." he added, while gazing around her features, "You're a little somethin' too." he intriguingly watched her lean forward on the table, closer to him.

His mouth got dry rather fast, watching her chest lean on the table and woah, why wouldn't she show those kittens off more?

She snapped him out of it, crossing her arms but didn't know what he'd been doing, "So what if I threatened to Alex about your little ravine trips? Would you leave me alone then?" she challenged.

Jay's eyes hardened on her...such a _cruel_ girl for such a _nice_ body.

"Nice play." he had to admit as she nodded and got up, "Nice play." he sighed and gave up. How old was she anyways? Sophomore right? So 15. . damn. She even put the junior 16 year old girls in his grade to shame. He was actually suppose to be senior, but ofcourse, failed.. so that made him 17 by next month. Hmm, maybe he should back off a bit, Emma** was** almost two years younger. . why was he acting like he couldn't find another better, older girl even ? He's had some college girls even who were freshmen and came to Montreal crew parties and the ravine too.. those chicks were wild. Emma, wasn't.

But damn would it be nice if she was-

"What the hell?" suddenly a voice spoke as they had both met up with another along the table to go leave and they both abruptly stopped next to another and saw Sean Cameron, eyes blazing with fury and looking between them.

Jay snickered. Oh, he thought something was up. He _wished_.

"Can we help you?" taunted Emma, glaring hard at Sean and then snuck a glance to Jay. He glanced a bit back at her shocked too...yea, she said 'we'. . that was weird, just sorta came out oddly like that. Now Sean for sure thought something was up.

Jay spoke up before Sean had a seizure by how stressed and confused he looked, "GP was helping me study." he glanced at her to see her even slightly nod, looking down at the floor and back up at him.

Sean even _still_ seemed to be mad just about that but a little more, relaxed then before at least.

"Well, are you done?" he snapped.

"I don't know, Sean." Emma sighed tauntingly, "His head's _almost_ as full of bullshit as yours is. Takes awhile." she shrugged innocently.

Jay tried to stiff the laugh inside of himself, even if the joke was in spite of him, he kept his eyes hard on the ground with a smirk on his face but couldn't believe it. Holy _shit_, the girl had a mouth. He loved it.

He glanced at Sean to see him look like he got a slap in his face and then he caught Emma give _him__, as in Jay__, _one more glance back before she went between the two guys and out the library doors...leaving them in awkward silence and Jay staring where she left.

Sean finally gritted his teeth and narrowed his eyes at Jay, "What did you talk about? Did she say anything about me?"

Jay gave him an insane look, pointing a bit at the door, "You mean like your head being full of bullshit?" he reminded.

Sean scoffed and turned to storm off, he was clearly wanting to hear something else, like the girl was still pinning over him or something.

Jay leaned back on the table and chuckled. Gp could always put on quite the show.

_**Saying yeah... you want her, but she's so mean  
(You'll never let her go. Why don't you let her go?)  
Yeah... you want her, but she's so mean  
(You'll never let her go. Why don't you let her go?)**_

_**{shes so mean-matchbox20)**_


	5. Pity The Girl

**Dollface- Aww thanks! You must be a Semma fan then for my other stories :P Keep on readin! I'm putting tons of effort into this one. **

**Vampir3.S- glad they make you laugh! Haha, Keep on readin' and reviewing :) **

**Allie- Always love the parts of Emma and Jay fighting hahaha espashally in Degrassi when he's running the battery of him car to listen to music, and tells her its pollution free and she reminds that their is noise pollution hahaha . their so cute.**

**Pocksuppet- No, I actually LIKE Alex lmao. I can't help it if I give her the attitude she has (that I like) . Also, you seem to be the *ONLY* reviewer who says I don't get the 'characters', honestly I've been told time and time again that I have even Jay done quite well and it's not like I'm making Emma 'Mary Sue', you've even heard Jay make fun of her, and her cast judgemental remarks at him. Weather you can admit it or not as well, Emma had lots of guys who liked her this season (Rick. Jay. And Sean pretended to hate her as I'm SHOWING in this fic.). Also, Ellie is a VERY whiney (Though I actually like her) girl and I do have her done right, sorry. That's my view of her, not going to change. As for Liberty, sure yeah, I hate on her, I think she's a boring character. You point this out all the time, and I explain myself each time. I don't care if you love Liberty or hate Emma, I'm the opposite, and if you don't like me stories, stop reading because you know how I'm going to portray the characters. It's THAT simple! **

When Jay walked out of the library, Emma was shuffling through her locker roughly and he raised an eyebrow, leaning on the locker next to hers

"So .. finally got your shot in at Sean-"

"Shut up." Emma snapped, eyes still glaring inside her locker.

He smirked, "You gave it to him good." he said then eyed her, "So much for being over him though.." her reaction made him smirk more with glee.

"I am." she snapped and huffed, whirling around to him, "I just.." she looked a bit shameful now but shrugged her shoulder, "Maybe still like my revenge."

Sean had hurt her, she still had the right to hurt him back since she had never done anything and he was just a whiney ex boyfriend who couldn't stand not getting the attention when it was all on Snake because her step dad had **cancer. **Sean was such a **jackass.**

"Remind me not to piss you off." Jay joked.

Emma smiled weakly, closing her locker, "You piss me off _every day_, Jay." she watched his eyes bulge out and she shifted oddly... _as if_ that hurt him?

It didn't.

He teased playfully, "You just said 'piss me off' and, I'm pretty sure that's not suppose to be in the goody two shoes dictionary."

Emma began to walk to class, tossing over her shoulder, "**You **wouldn't know what's in **any **dictionary, Jay."

With that, both smiled and turned, walking to class. Emma had bumped into someone who was watching the scene quite oddly and closely and her breath stopped as she whipped the smile off her face.

Manny.

Manny tilted her head a bit and put her hand on her hip. This is the second time she'd seen Emma near Jay Hogart. What was going on? And what was with the dope smile on Emma's face?

Emma just nearly glared as best as she could and walked off fast, her heart beating a bit rapidly. That was awkward.

"hey." Jay heard a greeting and woke up from his little nap during class to Alex coming to sit beside him in the back

Funny, thought she was too busy sitting up front like a good little girl beside Paige.

He rolled his eyes but muttered, "Hey." he shut his eyes again, his hat forward for once but just to cover his eyes so it could hide the light of the room and she grabbed it off his head, "Lex." he growled.

Alex pouted but a bit sexily and playfully asked as she glanced up front, "Come sit with me." she said.

Jay opened his eyes and snorted, looking up at the desk in the front by Paige, Craig Mannings, the gay kid, and Jimmy Brookes.

"Pass." he taunted.

"But my friends think you're all scary and yo-"

"Your _friends?" _Jay repeated, kicking his feet off the desk and sitting up, laughing a bit and she frowned and seemed a bit taken back and shut her mouth.

Did she say that?

Fuck

She had spent years with Jay, trying to keep up with him to bash and hate on people like this group and she knew now Jay was starting to see she was trying hard to get _into _this group. She even felt like a phony. I don't know, it wasn't like she enjoyed their preppy-ness, she just liked the fact they had bright futures ahead and that sorta made her. .motivated. Paige wasn't so bad either..

"And." Jay snapped her out of it, glaring, "I **am **scary." he informed, raising an eyebrow. He'd never go suck up or 'play nice' with those kinds of people ever.

What about Emma you'd say? She was _different_. She may of had the reputation of a popular girl, or the looks of one more preferably, and even if she was respected by the popular crowd she still wasn't _**in**_it, you know? She also chose not to be and was just find hanging with her dweebish and slutty friends_. _She was an inner freak, _just like him._ Not a fake robot like those people who believed they actually enjoyed going to school dances and cheerleading and joining school plays or dating only another.

Dumbest group of people he'd ever seen walk the halls of Degrassi. Paige, who was feared by most of Degrassi with her unwitty remarks and called the hottest girl in school yet he insisted she reminded him of his old toys as a kid, the trolls, she acted like one too when all snobby and Queen B. Jimmy, who was the annoying jock who never shut up about being the best in basketball when Jay knew for a fact Sean was better and Jimmy was a joke with an ego that shouldn't be there. Hazel, well, she was a given (minion). Mannings? I don't know, typical guy Jay guessed, he did remember hearing he impregnated that slutty girl Emma use to always be with so maybe he wasn't SO bad but he just had no energy to care about making friends or conversation and JESUS - Was Alex STILL here?

"Go back to your friends, Alex." Jay snapped bitterly, leaning back in his chair and shut his eyes.

She opened her mouth as she glared viciously, the bad girl streak in her setting off, but then she shut her mouth. She really had nothing to say to that. She huffed and walked off back to the front.

Jay shut his eyes a little tighter, trying to focus on going back into dream land.

_long blonde hair_

_ZZZZzzzZZZZZ_

_long tanned legs._

_zZzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz_

_zzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzz_

"Mr Hogart."

Jay shot up, and looked around. Class was empty, the bell must of gone. He yawned and sat up, slowly standing and stretching.

"nice." Mrs Kwan taunted, shaking her head at him as he headed out.

He stopped, seeing Emma and looked around before pushing through the crowd and over to her. He had to act quick, Alex usually expected rides home.

"You want a ride home?" he quickly asked.

Emma turned to look over her shoulder from talking to J.T, and she softened a little, but tilted her head.

JT laughed a bit, "Jay, did you come to school high?" he teased a bit, but watched his attitude knowing that Jay could pummel his ass, "This is _Emma." _he put his hands on the blondes shoulder so Jay knew who he was talking to.

Emma wouldn't POSSIBLY want a ride home from Jay Hogart

"It's James York speaking by the way." J.t insisted, really believing Jay was high or drunk or something.

Jay shot him an annoyed glare and looked back at Emma who giggled a bit and grabbed her bag from inside her locker.

_Say yes_

_"_Fine."

_YES._

J.t's eyes widened, watching Emma go and follow Jay out of Degrassi and Toby slowly walked up to him, stunned as he was

Rick followed closely behind Toby, "Was that Emma with Jay Hogart again?" even he sounded unsure about this.

"that's no good." muttered Toby.

J.T snapped his eyes off the odd pair and to the boys beside him and glared at Rick then Toby, "I'm sorry, we're we in a conversation?" he taunted.

He hated the fact Toby hung around this freak, and with that..he left.

Emma got into Jay's civic, and looked around as he got in and buckled up. Smelt like fruits and fresh waterfall air, and a SMALL hint of cigerette... how'd he make that smell somewhat good?

He started the car and Emma jumped a bit, the radio was blasting and even Jay cringed, turning it down, "sorry." he muttered.

Emma rolled her eyes at him but then smirked and tilted her head, "Wait, say that again?"

Jay was about to pull out of the parking lot but passed her an odd look, "I'm sorry?" he repeated and saw her smirk turn to a grin.

"Jay _Hogart _finally apologizing to_ me_, I feel victorious."

Jay grinned to her choices of words..always such big words for just having a simple conversation. She couldn't just be normal for a second could she?

"This is me." Emma said as they pulled in and she had directed him, "Well... thanks." she said.

He tilted his head and just nodded, eyeing her ...smoldering her.

She swallowed and went to open the door but his voice stopped her, "What are you doing tonight?"

She paused and shrugged her shoulder, "I don't know. Studying?"

He snickered and looked down, before shrugging himself, "Maybe pop by the ravine."

Emma froze. _'a place..where people hook up'_ Jay's words from the other day spoke in her head. She eyed Jay, then shook her head.

"Do people normally just 'pop' by." she taunted and shook her head no, "That place is more dangerous than _you_, Jay Hogart."

"Don't be so quick to judge." he insists, "Cool place to hangout and just drink."

"I don't drink."

"Well you sure as hell talk, so why not come hangout?"

"Cause I don't like what goes on there."

"Big bad Jay will protect you." Jay joked, though, everyone knew Emma could protect **herself. Miss Feminism. **

She still smiled though, "you plus the ravine is just a bad idea."

"If I'm such a bad idea, why did you take this car ride home from me?" Jay taunted, lifting a questionable eyebrow and tilted his head a little.

Emma shut up and had to admit, he got her there. . her eyes looked into his more, such a piercing light grey color, it was sorta unreal but beautiful. She shook her head and grabbed the handle on the door til she felt a hand on her arm and she frooze when it sent goosebumps up that arm.

She looked back at Jay's hand.

"Think about it." he insisted.

Emma locked eyes with him again and just shrugged her shoulder and stepped out, but she noticed a small smile upon her lips and her thoughts going to places it **shouldn't.**

She tried to wipe the smile off as she went to her front door but she tossed a look back to watch Jay's car speed out of the driveway and she couldn't help but admit his suddenly new attention and focus on her was kinda, exhilarating. She wanted to see more of it, understand it, she just wasn't sure what to _think_ of it.

When she got inside, she sat on her couch, wondering just how much Jay went to this Ravine and how many other girls he cheated on Alex with. I mean, I guess she understood why someone couldn't be completely happy with Alex, she wouldn't be, but why cheat? Jay could have other girls.. and if he finally found a girl who wouldn't take his crap, would he truly stop? Cause Emma didn't think so and she pitied that girl whoever it'd be.

...

...

...


	6. Prove It

Jay sat on the top of a bench, his feet hanging on the spot you're _suppose _to sit on. It was pitch dark out, other than the light from the fire pits around the ravine and he sat by himself, by choice.

He played with the flask in his hand, rum whiskey inside but his finger tapped on it, waiting to see if he should just give up and go ahead and start drinkin.

_she wasn't comin._

He lifted the flask to his mouth-

"Wow." came her voice and he actually stopped **all **the he was doing, didn't even blink when **she **came walking around the bench and jumped up on it with him.

She smiled a bit at his stunned look and went on, "Jay Hogart? Alone? _Here_?" she kinda expected Amy or someone with him.. she insisted she'd stop and hide by the path just to peek at who he was with and oddly, he was alone.

She probably would of turned back if he was with another girl. She also would of told her mind to shut up for the rest of her life too if he was. . because it wouldn't stop making her a little _curious._

"Not anymore." he declared, smirking finally and blinked. He only sipped his whiskey, he needed a shot for this, he couldn't believe _she, _**Greenpeace,** was here. . **with him.**

"well." Emma added, looking around and shifted, "It's not like _that."_

He smirked to her flushed look and knew what she meant. . most girls he sat with here he'd be hooking up with by the end of the night, but no, not this virgin Mary. He knew that.

He couldn't help but watch a few guys that he hung with now and then go by, noticing Emma and they couldn't help but look a little impressed but not too shocked. Jay Hogart always got the girls didn't he? But this girl had an aura of..._something_ intoxicating that Jay couldn't put his finger on yet.

"This is where Sean met Amy you know, after you.." Jay admitted and added, "hooked up over there-" he pointed to a van and glanced at her to slowly grin a bit evily, noticing her glare hard at him and went to get up and leave.

He grabbed her hand just as she got up and tried to walk away, she didn't turn but did stop since his hand held so tight around hers and she huffed.

"I'll be a _good_ boy." he promised, giving a small smirk but his eyes held promise as he nodded slightly to her when she looked over her shoulder.

She sighed, looking around this wretched place but back into his pretty eyes. Fiine. She nodded, but then went to take her hand back as he stood up but he held it more and she even straightened her body right up when he took an awfully closer step towards her, now standing face to face, rather too closely for her comfort.

He noticed her hand try to struggle for a second out of his, until falling limp, and into surrender in his. Her breath got caught in her throat, feeling his thumb slowly start to smooth circles on her palm and his eyes were stinging into hers, with a look she'd never seen in his eyes before. What was that? And why was she giving in to _this?_

"You keep sayin' you're over him, Greenpeace." he told her and stepped even closer, making her gasp in a little shakingly, and his other _hand _actually placed itself on her _hip_ slowly, "But I don't see you proving it."

Emma's gaze into his eyes turned into a squinting glare. She saw that little dare of his in his smirk, he was trying to make her prove it? By what? Kissing him? Would that REALLY prove anything?

_**Fuck it.**_

Suddenly, her lips was on his, and Jay's eyes widened just a bit but it quickly washed away as he shut his eyes and kissed her back, roughly pulling her right into his arms and he was impressed, feeling how soft her small lips were against his and amused that this was _actually _happening and she had the guts to do it. . and he was dying to _taste _her and he felt her tense a little in his arms as he kissed her so hard he made her lips part, and that's when he slowly pushed his tounge against hers.

_Strawberries._

It took her a quick second, quite a fast learner, to slowly flick hers back against his but her breath still shook as did her fingers on his chest. But the next time his tounge danced against hers after kissing her again once more tenderly, she, like a pro, danced hers against his before pulling away slowly

This was _Jay_.

Who tasted of almost.. mint. But she could smell the booze too. Was he drunk ? Should they be DOING This? He had a girl friend! And once again, THIS WAS JAY !

One of Jay's arm still wrapped around her as one of his hands lifted her chin and kissed her once more on the lips, seeing she was having second thoughts about this.

_He Didn't____want that_

Her eyes slowly fluttered open and looked into his eyes when he slowly opened his too, staring into her warm brown eyes with a slight scared emotion clouding through them. He had to smirk a bit, and then grin, but Emma took it the wrong way and shoved him away from her, turning and storming off.

Idiot. He was messing with her head for fun, wasn't he?!

Jay stood back, his mouth now dropped that she was leaving and now gone. He huffed and looked down at the empty spot she was once in. He licked his lips and itched the back of his neck.. well that was a kiss.

He wanted more.

bad.


	7. Not A Good Person

"Hey Em." J.T greeted as she walked by.

Emma walked to her locker quickly the next Monday morning, she thought maybe she could just hang in the library- No! He knew she'd be there. Um. .gym? Nobody would be in there..

She was rattled, and glanced around when she finally got her books and then closed it quickly and walked toward the gym.

She sighed in relief as she opened the door, and just as she thought - peace, and quiet.

She sat against the wall, opening her binder upon her legs and took the pencil inside the binder hoops to get to work-

"Thought I saw you flee in here." came his husky voice.

Emma glared up at Jay who smirked over her, _just _leaning himself on the wall and looked down at her like she was a bug to torment and he was some kid who used a magnifying glass to burn her alive or something.

"I wasn't _fleeing." _Emma snapped, trying to focus back on her work.

Oh god. They **kissed.** Why did **they **kiss?! She wasn't dumb okay? Yeah. Yeah she could admit Jay was a **real good **looking guy, it was one of his evil charms to allure in his prey.

She wasn't prey, she would NOT allow herself to be one of his victims. How dare **he** kiss her anyways? He didn't even like her! Minus the obvious, some kind of..pull they had towards another.

"What's wrong?" he asked and she slapped her book shut, "You look.." he drifted with a smirk and wondered for the perfect word, "Jumpy."

He'd been thinking of _strawberries _all weekend.. couldn't stop.

"No I'm just _bothered._" she taunted back, going to go out the doors til she gasped in sharply when he grabbed her and put her onto the wall beside where he was.

Both his arms blocked her from going anywhere, and his lips almost brushed against hers.

"Jay." she protested, and stared at his mouth.

His eyes sharpened on her, not really believing she wanted to say no so tested it, and put his hands onto her waist for her to shove him off

"What part of no, don't you understand?!" she snapped, looking quite flushed and rattled up again, as she went to leave and fixed her hair before she did so.

"The part where you actually didn't say _it._" taunted Jay, glaring at her for trying to fight this.

She stopped by the doors and pushed it open slightly, "No, Jay." she said more sternly, "No, no, no, no, no." she rolled her eyes and left, "No."

With that, she went to class as quickly as she could just as a bunch of cheerleaders passed. One of those cheerleaders being Manny who paused, and watched her go.

What was Emma doing in the gym?

All the girl yelped and jumped when the doors slammed open against the wall and out stormed Jay Hogart.

He saw them and clenched his jaw, shoving by.

Manny shut her eyes and shook her head. Alright! Now there HAS to be something going on between him and Emma. What was Emma doing!? This guy wasn't good.

She'd have to talk to her. She had to. She insisted it was that important to talk about.

MI class was beginning and Emma scrolled on the computer through their work from the day before as Manny sat next to her.

Manny tucked her long brown hair behind her ears and put her hand on her mouse, but muttered lowly, "You're not even _trying_ to hide it."

Emma blinked, and looked to the right as Manny spoke. Was she talking to her?

"What?" Emma said, giving her a wierd look and tried to focus on her work as Manny's mouth dropped.

"Emma, I'm not stupid!" she hissed.

"Let's not getting into _that_." Emma hissed back. They weren't friends, so whatever Manny was even trying to say.. well, it still confused Emma cause she had no idea what she was talking about.

"Ok class, lets open of our section B for today." Snake announced, sitting up from his desk.

Manny lifted an eyebrow at Emma, "Jay Hogart?"

Emma's eyes darted to Manny and widened a little as Manny had that 'gotcha' look on her face, seeing Emma freeze up.

Emma swallowed as Manny turned to listen to Snake, but Emma nervously played with her hands on her lap. What the hell? How did Manny know anything? I-It was just a stupid kiss that meant _nothing_.

"Manny!" Emma exclaimed, following the petite girl down the hall and grabbed her arm.

"You are better than this!" Manny told her, whipping around and looked at her almost in disgust, "You're better than_ Jay_."

"I thought I wasn't good at all?" Emma taunted back, crossing her arms a bit, "Some horrible being."

For a while, Emma tried not to agree with Jay about the whole Liberty thing but being around him kinda rubbed off on you and now Emma was wondering where Manny even had the right to judge _her_. Manny was HORRIBLE last year.

"What you did to Liberty WAS horrible." Manny said.

Emma rolled her eyes and walked around her, "I don't care anymore." she tossed over her shoulder, "You guys go have your hot tub parties with Toby, and I'll be doing _whatever _ I feel like doing." she snapped and stormed off.

Manny rolled her head back and watched the blonde she thought she use to know so well, charge away.

"He's not a good person!" Manny yelled down the hallway, recieving a few wierd looks as she blushed and opened her mouth.

Meanwhile, Emma was walking fast done the hall, blonde hair flying, pushing through slow students and found exactly who she was looking for, passing the exact same place she wanted to pull him into.

Jay glanced at the person who flew passed him to get to the library and then double glanced when he saw it was Emma, and she had even grabbed his hand. Before he could even think, he was shutting the door behind them and Emma was leading, almost dragging, him to a dark isle.

The place was empty, the Liberian must of went home, or she would of separated Jay and Emma thinking they were in a fight or something, especially when Emma pushed Jay against the wall of books and he laughed but questionably looked at her but his questions were answered when she leaned up and kissed him, her eyes shut and her usually shakey hands actually held onto his black jacket rather tightly.

Jay closed his eyes, raising his eyebrows and kissed her back. She resisted pulling away when she felt him begin to smirk against the kiss.

Ass..

She pulled an inch away, feeling his hands roam down her back and they both shut their eyes but she bit her lower lip.

He ran his hand down her lower back, almost to her ass and he sighed a bit, finally opening his eyes to look at her.

She fluttered hers open too, and stared down at his shirt..which he was sure wasn't **that **good of a shirt to be staring at the way she did.

"Nobody knows." she tells him, finally looking up at him under her long eyelashes.

Jay tilted his head, a bit stunned she had said it but also rather happy she did and gave a firm nod. He then leaned down and kissed her deeply and Emma found herself being turned and her shoved up against the bookcase now where he _was_ but now her.

She whimpered only a little, but because his mouth had found her neck and she put her hands on his shoulders as he nuzzeled her neck.

God, she was fooling around with the _enemy._ Her little fingers trailed up his strong shoulders to his neck and his kisses began to suck more and she whimpered again, digging her little nails at the back of his neck.

Jesus if she kept this up, she was just _asking _for it. Jay ripped away, panting, "What am.." he drifted off, snickering a bit but eyes still in a trance while staring at her.

Only Emma could make fooling around have rules..

She looked at him confused.

He lifted an eyebrow and finished, "What am I _allowed to do_ to you?" he licked his lips a little in want and gazed down her body. Her long tanned legs showing off out of that skirt, his hand slowly fell down by her knee, and his finger tips brushed up her thigh.

Emma almost shivered and trembled, sort of pulling away and blinked. O-oh god , he meant THAT. . she hadn't done anything like **that **before.

With Sean it only led to make outs, she pulled away even if he tried to get to her neck (Which maybe she should of let him cause it felt REAL good)

And with Chris, he kinda got the tiniest boob grab and Emma just laid there awkwardly on her couch as they did that and then she dumped him the next week

Jay hadn't got the hint that she was uncomfortable, because his hand had slipped up between her skirt until she grabbed his hand just inches away from her panties and her face was red, eyes wide when he looked back up to her, his eyebrows furrowed confused like

"w-wait." she said, shoving his hand away and then pushed his chest slightly to back him up to then ran a hand through her hair and shook her head, "No, this was a mistake."

He grabbed her rather roughly when she went to go and she gasped and stood back face to face as he nearly growled, "Stop being a fucking tease and let me know when you figure it out." this time, he stormed around her and out this time.

She jumped, hearing the door slam close and put her hand to her chest, feeling it pound hard.

She just wasn't that type of girl..

"


	8. Not So Sure

"look." Alex said, opening some college schools brochure , "I think I'm gonna apply." she showed Ellie, Sean and Jay.

They hung out at lunch the next Monday and Jay rolled his eyes when she passed it to him to check it out.

Ellie and Sean even shared a knowing look. Alex may have had a chance.. but Jay and almost everybody knew (And probably Alex) that he wasn't going to college.

"Graduation isn't until next year." Jay muttered, opening his car door and grabbing his cigarettes out of his car.

"Yeah but you can still think about what you want."

"always good to be prepared." Ellie said with a nervous laugh, trying to help Alex out.

Sean wrapped an arm around her waist for the helpful tip but Jay wasn't buying it, shoving a cigerette in his mouth.

Before he lit it, and kept ignoring Alex's speech on going to college, when he saw a certain blonde sitting on the stairs up Degrassi.

She was studying, and Toby and that freak Murray were coming up to her and joined her on the steps.

Suddenly, he had no craving to smoke and threw it to the ground.

Sean even eyed him weirdly, catching that, and glanced at the full non-lit cig on the ground, "You quitting?" he asked, in disbelief.

Alex glanced over from her college paper and saw what Sean was talking about to snort, "He'd never." she teased Jay.

Jay shrugged and nodded, agreeing with her. He just felt like he didn't need it _for now._

The bell rang and he sighed, "I'm gonna skip." he confirmed.

"Want company?" Alex asked him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him but he could see in her eyes that she kinda wanted to go to class.

She was barely a skipper anymore, "No." he coughed lightly, "Gonna head to the Dot with Spin."

She smirked, "Alright," she bent down, letting go of him and grabbed her bag. She tossed him a wave and followed Sean and Ellie away.

Meanwhile on the steps..

She watched _him _with _her_ as Toby and Rick were going on about god knows what. Alex was all over Jay, and looking like they were some happy couple but Emma couldn't see how Alex didn't know he was a cheater... it was like, painfully obvious.

She squinted her eyes as he now stood alone and she quickly ripped her eyes off him when Rick handed her something.

"What's this?"

Rick and Toby shared a look and Toby teased, "the club we've been talking about this whole time."

Emma blushed a bit and opened it. Guess she should pay more attention.. "Sure, I'll join." she said, seeing it was science and she was rather good at that.

Rick smiled wide. More time with Emma, just delightful!

"Gotta go, hate to be late." he told them, getting his binder and dashed off to be shoved a bit and fell onto the steps. His knee suffered a little as he looked up at his bully.

Spinner.

"Watch where you're going." Spinner spat at him and kept walking down the stairs

Emma watched the scene, and even passed a sad look to Rick. He took a lot.. she wasn't sure if she believed he deserved it or not. She wasn't sure of anything anymore. She watched Spinner go the wrong direction, since school was starting but his feet walked over to an orange civic.

Of course..

She shook her head out of it and got up, "See yeah Toby." she said and left.

Her classes passed slowly, and she was more than happy when she finished the test in her last class before anybody and got to leave early for the day.

She moved slowly and kinda tiredly toward her locker to grab her books, when she noticed the detention room door open.

As she stopped at her locker and peaked over, he saw him. No surprise. He was using a small pocket knife to vandalize the desk he boredly sat at. Mr Armstrong, the gym and also detention teacher, was asleep at his desk.

Emma slowly opened her locker, she couldn't remove her eyes off him, she just wasn't sure about him. What was this sick pull he had on her? Sure he was interesting enough, I mean, what made Jay act like Jay?

Her locker made a creeky noise, catching his attention and she quickly looked inside, hoping he didn't catch her.

From inside detention, Jay glanced back to the noise he heard from someones locker and saw Emma. He glanced at Armstrong and bit the end of his tounge rather hard before quietly getting up and went to go out the door and have a chit chat with her. He frooze right before the door, hearing Armstrong snore and thought he had woken up.

He glanced back. Safe.

He turned to walk back to Emma to find her gone. He scoffed and looked around, then went back to his desk. 5 minutes later, the end of the day bell rang

Students squished through another and Jay found himself at his locker where Alex waited and Rick was going by, to Jay's unnotice until his girl friend put her foot out and Rick fell down hard.

People glanced over and laughed, Rick shook a bit angrily but got up without a word and Alex gave him a taunting look and he glanced to Jay.

First he had an attack from Spinner again this morning, and even Jimmy was going to do something if not for Snake coming to his rescue. Now Alex and worst of all, Jay.

Jay just snickered as well and opened his door to see Rick STILL standing there. Jesus, was this guy just ASKING for it?

"Beat it, freak." growled Jay, and watched Rick jump and scurry.

He scoffed, he hated that loser. Should of never came back to Degrassi, should of never put that girl in acoma and should of never came near Emma.

And Emma was goddamn stupid to let him talk to her. Jay would have to bring that up tomorrow. _Stupid girl_

"He should be dealt with." Jay sneered, slamming his locker open and Alex came up behind him, wrapping her arms around her.

"What you have in that dark little mind?"

Jay raised an eyebrow. Was Alex trying to make up for the weeks and months of acting like a good girl? ... she WAS the vice president of school..she could have tons of power

"Well now that you say something..." drifted Jay, glancing to see Rick now even standing over at Emma's locker, probably waiting for her, and his eyes darkened, "You got the keys to everywhere in the building right?"

he turned around to Alex who smirked up to him, nodding.

Tons of evil plans began to form into Jay's head.

**So What are you guys expecting with the shooting? what would you LIKE to see? Do you think Emma could even fall inlove with a guy like Jay is right now? What about the whole Alex thing . **


	9. Good Guys and Bad Guys

"Rick? You okay?" Emma didn't know why she was asking, but she was in this trivia competition with him against Lakehurst next week and they had a meeting today with Snake.

He snapped out of it and passed Emma a weak smile. She was so sweet..

"Doing better now." he insisted.

She smiled small at him, but worriedly eyed the crack in his glasses on the left side. Who did that?

"ohh." he blushed slightly, taking them off and shrugged, "It's nothing."

Emma didn't get it. This squirmish, kinda sweet guy put a girl into acoma? She just couldn't see it.

"Let's get this over with." Jimmy sneered, coming over and throwing his bag on the table beside Emma and far away from Rick.

Rick swallowed hard. Damn Simpson forced Jimmy into this when he caught him bullying Rick. Rick couldn't help but fear he may be paid back for that.

"I'm here, don't worry." sighed Toby, coming in and slowing down seeing Jimmy.

Odd.

"Alright guys!" Snake shouted, coming in and even Emma jumped but passed him a small laugh. He seemed so excited about this.

Word was the trivia game would be on T.v.

As they began to study and practice for it, Emma was impressed with Jimmy's knowledge of the Sports catagory but wasn't shocked. Maybe they had a good chance winning this year.

When that was over, Emma couldn't help but notice Jimmy actually taking pointers from Rick on how to study and remember things. Maybe there was hope

She dragged her feet to her locker, the school empty since it was an after school thing. And so was detention, that also got out and Jay was coming out

He stopped, and narrowed his eyes watching her shoving her books into her locker. She was probably here from some wierd club she was apart of or some environment thing.

He went to go over after clearing his throat but felt a hand on his arm and looked down at Amy who also shared Detention with him, "Wanna go ..hang out?" she asked.

They both knew it'd be anything but hanging out.

Jay thought about it, but began walking away, "Not today." he informed and brushed her off.

Amy crossed her arms a bit, looking well offended and glared. She then saw Towerz come out of Detention and walked over to him.

"Wanna go chill?"she asked.

"nah," he said with a smirk, "Chillin with Liberty."

Amy shook her head in disgust watching Towerz go. Oh right, he was dating that freak now. She gazed down the hall to see Jay walking towards something, no, someone.

Emma again

What the fuck was up with that? What was her world coming to.

Jay slowed his pace to Emma, seeing Rick come over to her. Clearly he didn't see the murderous stare in Jay's eyes or him heading their way.

"E-Emma." Rick coughed to get her attention and she had just shut her locker.

"Hey Rick." she greeted politely.

"Beat it Rick." came another voice, acting just as sweet but being awfully sarcastic.

Rick looked into the mad eyes of Jay Hogart and even Emma noticed how angry he was too but put a hand on Rick's shoulder, "No, you can stay." she assured him, narrowing her eyes at Jay.

Jay glanced at her hand on Rick, and caught Rick's blush who sheepishly smiled and looked down. Jay's blood boiled and he even grabbed Emma's arm to take it off Rick.

She gasped and was going to snap at him, but he beat her to it, "If you'd like the other side of your glasses stomped on too, I'd be happy." he sneered at Rick.

Rick got the hint and walked off quickly, glaring over his shoulder though before he left and shook with fury. How dare Jay? And how poor Emma was stuck with him now.. Jay was probably trying to bully _her _now for all he knew. Rick wished he had the courage to go back and tell Jay to buzz off and leave the good girls alone.. he could have the ratchet girls going nowhere like Alex Nunez or Amy. But now sweet little Emma.

Meanwhile..

"so does bullying Rick make you feel better?" Emma taunted Jay, "He is half your size." she looked up in wonder, "I wonder what your chances would be if you bullied someone like hmm, I don't know.. Jimmy Brookes? Or Sean." she gasped, "Wait no, you lost that fight before."

Jay lifted a finger, "no, your ex boyfriend sucker punched me that time." he nearly growled and curled his finger into a fist that tried hard not to shake, "Also, you think you're getting goody points or something to be _nice _to him?"

"You don't get points Jay, it's just the right thing to do." she snapped and went to turn but he flew around her and stood in her way.

God he couldn't stand her !

"He **abuses** people. Girls! You know, the _thing _you_ are."_ Jay said while giving her a stupid look and waved down her body.

"Girls aren't _things_ Jay." she shot and he rolled his eyes, "But you wouldn't understand that. You're not any better than him." she insisted, eyeing him closely now.

He paused, "what's that mean?" he didn't know if he should offended, but glared anyways.

Emma crossed her arms, glaring and shook her head, "Maybe he's once physically hurt a girl.." she drifts, "But ever wonder how you can _emotionally_ hurt one? How much more impact it does?" she raised an eyebrow.

Jay thought about it, and glared harder at her and then darted his eyes around as he thought about it.

He tried to ignore his stomach turn a bit.

Then he went over it again and again, "Did I.." he drifts off, not being able to muster the words but Emma did find the weirdest emotions slowly clouding his eyes...regret, fear.

She then put it together that he may of thought he hurt her! Her body shifted awkwardly, not letting him have that satisfaction and didn't know if she'd call it 'hurt'

"Don't fool yourself." she snickered, "I could care less about you Jay Hogart." she gave him that look like he was nothing.

His blood began to boil like before. She thought she could do SO much better than him, didn't she? Well fine, maybe she could but she was no BETTER than him as a **person**. Nothing but a self rightous bitch.

"Didn't know you shacked up with guys you didn't care about." Jay said rather loudly when a figure was walking down the hall and had to of been Jimmy Brookes.

Jimmy's eyes even looked over and eyed Jay then Emma and his eyes widened. He walked faster away, trying to pretend he didn't hear that. Wow, Emma and Jay Hogart?

Emma's eyes saw red and Jay only moved slightly when she shoved him ,"What is wrong with you!?"

"What is wrong with you!" he shouted back, looking at her like she was crazy, "Who puts this shit in your head? What makes you think Rick is a good guy?!"

"The same reason my mind makes me think you're a **bad **one!"

Jay looked down at Emma, her eyes set on fire and he'd never seen her so sure about that sentence. He clenched his jaw.

"Move." she said and he did, simple as that, and he heard her stomping off and away.

When she got outside she broke into a run and never looked back once.

Inside, Jay still stood there.

'_the same reason my mind makes me think you're a bad one.'_

He couldn't ignore the sick feeling in his stomach anymore... or some kind of disappointment storming around in his chest.


	10. Did you know that your toxic

Emma tossed and turned in her sleep, never being able to just slip into slumber.

She needed to take a walk, she was probably just still rattled up or maybe too excited about the Trivia game next week.

She slipped into her tight grey hoody, zipping it up over her tank top and put on her jean shorts and off went her pajama pants.

She crawled out of her window and just walked, walked as far as she could, tried to relax as must as she could muster.

_Damn him._

She watched her feet take her god knows where and let her mind wonder too much until she looked up and stopped, looking around the night lit sky and then her surroundings.

Her random walk, wasn't so random. Her feet took her to the _ravine._

There he was, sitting alone but Amy walking up to him and he was probably as moody as Emma still because she saw him sneer something before Amy took off and found another guy to guide to some dark part of the woods.

Gross.

Emma's feet began to move and she cursed at them, wanting to cut them off. Why couldn't she stop?

Jay felt a presence over him as he had just opened a beer and growled in annoyance, looking up until he stopped. His glare stayed on, but it was slightly curious.

They locked eyes, and Emma's eyes looked...unreadable, yet, he could still read them. Before either one of them knew it, he dropped his full beer down to the grass and took her hand, walking off, pulling her toward a run down looking van.

They kissed madly. And I mean madly, knowing they were still mad at the other. His hands cupped her face, sliding slowly to the back of her head as his fingers slightly gripped her hair as he roughly kissed her.

Emma pushed him against the door of the van after he closed it and kissed him back just as passionately, her hands clenching his shirt.

God, she hated him.

He didn't care about her protesting today, his hands went to the zipper of her sweater and shoved it off and she pulled away breathless but eyes still closed as he pulled it off and brought her back into his arms. They both sat up on their knees since in the back of a candle lit van. She was pushed on her back and laid down with him over her and thought she breathed in shakingly, she was sure this time when his fingers ran up her thigh.

..but at least this time, he opened his eyes to gaze into hers and she stopped looking angry at him and softened, nodding. He seemed to lose all anger too, and sighed a bit, leaning down and captured her lips just gently this time, but his fingers did roughly pull her jean shorts apart.

His hand slid into her jeans, keeping over the panties but still rubbed her over them and she felt it quite well and moaned, laying her head back and closed her eyes. Oh my god ..

She wanted to focus on how good it really did feel, but her stomach did turn at the realization on why Jay was so good at doing it (he'd had a ton of girls, probably in here too)

Jay had leaned down and he noticed her turn her head when he went to kiss her. Was she still mad? She did arch her hips a bit more into his hand though, letting him continue and he was happy to just suck on her neck instead then but could still sense her small resentment towards him for something..just made him work harder at pleasing her.

Emma whimpered, feeling his circular motions increase and she felt herself getting wet and squirm a little under him. Oh my GOD It felt so good, she felt so wrong for thinking this. Did this make her a slut?

Jay finally pushed his hand right under her panties and felt her bare, wetness, his fingers slipping down her folds and she sorta cried out a bit, her eyes opening and he stared into her eyes with almost a pleading look. He HAD to feel her.

She tried to keep her eye on him back, but her eyes fluttered, feeling that finger now slowly entering her and she bit her lower lip a bit scared. It felt okay, and then he put two in and she felt so damn tight.

Damn.. did the girl not even PLAY with herself? Ever?

Jay was losing his mind, watching Emma in bliss like she'd never done this before and was moaning and whimpering, starting to wrap her arms around his neck and this time, she let him kiss her quite fully.

They pulled away breathless, but her more panting as his fingers were twisting inside her now and her walls were beginning to clench around his fingers. He knew what she was about to do, but she had no idea and cried out, feeling a rush of excitement, almost paralysation running through her, and a vibration against the most pleasing spots of her body began to shake and shiver, sending another cry out as he hungrily watched her go over the edge and she came back down, panting hard.

She opened her eyes to him and she was so tight that his fingers were almost pushed out when she was so tensed up. He leaned down, trailing light kisses around her neck as she cried to catch her breath and her eyes darted around the vans ceiling.

_**wow.**_

When she had stopped seeing stars and closed her eyes to his lips on her neck, she finally blushed and came back down to earth, sitting up a bit and went to get up but watched him help her slowly do up her jeans.

He glanced up at her as he did so, eyeing her a bit closely and somewhat...carefully. She bit her lower lip, not believing they just did that.

That SHE just did that?

He looked back down when he was finished, then moved back so she could get up.

Emma felt _really_ bad now, reminding herself this was probably nothing new to him, or this unreal. and the fact of Alex, his girlfriend, came to mind.

She opened the van door and jumped out to gasp when his hand caught her wrist and she turned around to face him. She looked flushed.

His eyed darkened on her but asked lightly, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, swallowing hard and searched his eyes for anything. Nothing. Couldn't read him right now but she did have tons of emotions flying through herself that she couldn't even explain and she just wanted to run home.

He let go and looked away from her. She took this cue to run.. and that she did.

She ran all the way home and when she slipped back into the house, nobody noticing her gone, she went back to bed. Only now she was for sure not going to sleep.

She stayed up for hours, staring at her blank wall, trying to wrap around her head around tonight and even insisted it was just a dream but it wasn't.. .she could still feel the tingles in her from his fingers whenever she thought about it

Back at the ravine, Jay got out of the van, staring at it like it was his enemy and walked to his civic.

He got in, and stared blankly at his steering wheel.

_Jay was losing his mind, watching Emma in bliss like she'd never done this before and was moaning and whimpering, starting to wrap her arms around his neck and this time, she let him kiss her quite fully. _

Jay snapped out of it and started the car. He blasted his radio to try and listen to that instead of thinking.

He hated thinking..

He sped out of that fucking place as fast as he could, lighting a smoke his fidgety hands placed in between his lips as he drove and inhaled it rather shakingly too.

_**Too high  
Can't come down  
Losing my head  
Spinning 'round and 'round  
Do you feel me now**_

With a taste of your lips  
I'm on a ride  
You're toxic I'm slipping under  
With a taste of a poison paradise  
I'm addicted to you  
Don't you know that you're toxic  
And I love what you do  
Don't you know that you're toxic

(toxic- brit spears)


	11. Baby, There's A Shark In The Water

"Can we please talk?"

Emma looked over at Manny from beside her locker and was kinda stunned but passed her a dirty look.

"I'm busy."

"with what?" Manny taunted, raising an eyebrow.

"Anything else but this." Emma said and left with that, walking down the hall and into the Library.

Manny huffed and went to walk away but counted to 10. Emma was there for her the last time they got into a fight during her pregnancy, so she wasn't going to give up on Emma either for her attitude.

She stepped forward for Toby to get in her way, "Trivia game this Friday." he handed it to her.

Manny smiled weakly, "Thanks Toby." Though, she probably wouldn't go unless the school made them.

"No problem. Hey, I was wondering do you think.." Toby's voice trailed off to Manny as she caught Jay Hogart tear away from his girl friend and was looking around rather suspiciously as he went to the Library

Emma was in there...

Manny needed to grab her before Mr Bad boy himself did. Manny knew he was up to SOMETHING with Emma and it'd only be trouble if the blonde allowed it.

But she was sure Emma was smarter than that.

"Gotta go Tobes." Manny said and put a hand on her shoulder, hips swaying back and forth as she quickly went to the doors both Emma and Jay disappeared to.

She looked around to see nobody, not even the Liberian. She walked down the book shelves quietly wondering where Emma even was. She sighed silently, maybe they left when Toby was distracting her?

She turned to then stop, hearing some kind of..moan? Her stomach turned, having to think of the worst since now she knew they WERE in here..

No..nononono..

Her head slowly peaked down the last isle she didn't check.

Jay and Emma were down the isle, against the wall. Emma was held up against it, Jay's bigger body shielding Emma's away from Manny saw it... she saw it over his shoulder, the way Emma's face looked and how Jay's arm was slightly moving and Emma was still softly moaning and Jay's kisses around her neck was loudly heard.

Both their eyes were closed, shutting the world out, no idea Manny was there and had seen everything.

She hid back around the isle, trying not to let a noise of shock out and silently scorned Jay for doing this to Emma. This wasn't the type of place to be getting 'down and dirty' with a girl like Emma.. actually, she was sure a girl like Emma shouldn't be getting 'dirty' like _that._

When she was raced out, unseen and her eyes wide with confusion and almost terror...she couldn't help but believe Emma would get madly hurt in the end over this.

Jay Hogart was nothing but bad news with a bad end. She understood the guy, though arrogant, was extremely good looking but she was sure Emma would know more than anybody that he wasn't the type to want anything 'boyfriend' material out of..

Unless is was just about sex. Or in their case 'oral'... but Emma couldn't, **wouldn't** just want that, _right?_ Unless things in Degrassi were _really _changing..

Crap. . It'd already begun getting more than complicated then she thought with Jay and Emma. What happened to all the times Emma got angry at her for her and Craig behind Ashley's back?

What the hell was Jay doing to make Emma think it'd be a fun idea?

Emma was doing _that_, let alone her first time doing it with _Jay Hogart?!_. . this was not good, this was not okay.

Damn Jay for trying to take her innocence. That must be what this whole thing was about!-

"Manny."

Manny jumped so high she was so lost in thought and the voice scared her, turning around to Sean Cameron with Towerz.

Odd.

"H-hey." she greeted but gave a wierd look. They hadn't talked since he ruined his chance with Emma AGAIN even after she herself HELPED him get her back. Such a moron. . he woulda been so good to her.

..for sure he wouldn't be the type of guy to treat Emma like a side girl in the Library.

Manny just couldn't deal with this. Emma was a girl you took on dates, bought flowers for, wanted as a girlfriend... not some-

"Manny!"

She snapped out of it again, though this time it was only Sean standing there now, looking at her like she had a few heads.

"Are you okay?" he asked

She huffed and muttered, "Wish I could tell you." she admitted

He looked kinda hurt and looked around, "You could.." he muttered back and looked around then nodded toward the Library doors.

He gestured her to follow him, "NO!" she screamed.

Oh my god, oh my god.

Sean weirdly watched her grab his arm and looked back at the Library. Why didn't she want him to go in there? What was up?

She didn't know how to get out of this and was a nervous wreck, "I-I mean fine, but lets go outside, I need fresh air."

Sean bought it, forgetting about the Library, and followed her out.

"This about Emma?" They now sat alone outside Degrassi, the sun glaring down at them and Sean leaned back on the steps with such cool grace.

Manny sat with her back straight and leg crossed over the other and snickered. OH, was IT about Emma.

"I know you guys aren't..." he drifted off.

Manny eyed him hard, "How would you know that, Sean?" she asked.

He wasn't around anymore, he was Emma's ex. How could he know Emma and Manny weren't friends anymore?

He looked a little paler now, and looked away from her. Yeah, she thought so, he still cared. He watched.

Oh god how pissed he'd be to know what his best friend was doing to their Emma.

"She's ..different or something." Manny insists.

Sean looked like he thought about it and shrugged, "She's always been different." he smirked a bit.

Manny sighed.. he just didn't get it unless she told him, but she couldn't. She had to talk some sense into Emma first.

"Thanks for the talk Sean." she insisted, getting up.

He gave a weird look, "We hadn't really talked.." he drifted. Her problem couldn't of just washed away..

"I know but I think theres someone else I should really talk to about this."

They shared a knowing look and Manny nodded, and went to go, "Manny!" she turned, and he looked ... nervous, "Don't tell anybody we..."

Manny understood. If word got out he and her were talking about Emma, or anything like that..it'd lead to rumours and Ellie might think the worst.

It wasn't Sean's felt he still cared about Emma, Manny did too, it was just something the blonde did to people. Didn't REALLY mean he still wanted her back? Who knew with Sean Cameron.

She walked off.

Classes were already in session, she was going to be late so jogged a bit to the office, then ran to class.

Manny saw Emma in her seat, and she looked tense as she slowly and carefully sat beside her.

Emma couldn't help but sneak a glance and wondered what was wrong with her.

During the rest of the class, Manny narrowed her eyes and watched Emma work, and under the blondes long and shiney hair, was a hickey or two hidden underneath.

Near the end of class, Manny saw a figure walk past and pause at the door. The devil himself. He was so tranced on Emma that he didn't see Manny staring right at him, watching him and eyed him harder.. than curiously. His eyes seemed...different.

she looked back at Emma where he stared, then back at the door to find him gone. Wierd.

_**Baby, there's a shark in the water  
There's something underneath my bed  
Oh, please believe I said  
Baby, there's a shark in the water  
I caught them barking at the moon  
Better be soon**_

(Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do)  
(Better be soon)  
(Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do _**[x2]**__**)**_


	12. Lets Get Away

Emma was rubbing gently the side of her neck, sitting down at the library table and studying for the Trivia game in two days.

She leaned her head to one side, against her arm as she leaned on that table and then slowly, she felt the other side of her neck where her hair fell off from, begin to be nuzzeled and kissed.

Emma closed her eyes, feeling _him_, and she sighed silently to then widen her eyes and shrug out of it, looking around and shoving Jay from her

he chuckled, sitting down next to her, "Relax." he insisted.

She shot him a glare, and kept looking around nervously. The same ginger kid that was always in here was once again in the corner on the computers but didn't see and she huffed.

"Or don't." she snapped back at him, "This isn't something you just do in the open." she shook her head at him.

Sometimes it's like he forgot about his own girlfriend.

"What are you doing?" he asked, ignoring her freak attack and scrunched his face up, "You're going to this?" he picked up the flyer by her study notes on her binder.

"I'm **in it**." she taunted, a small smile on her lips and expected that smirk to rise to his, which is did.

"Course you are." he answered, putting the flyer down and itched the back of his neck. He had something planned for Ricky at that trivia game... he hoped she wouldn't be around for it.

Seems she was gonna have front row seats.

"What are you doing tonight?" he asked.

Emma shifted in her seat a bit, beginning to slowly write things down but wasn't really focusing, "Not going to the ravine." she mumbled.

His shoulders fell a bit, noticing the sheer disappointment stir in him.

"I don't like that place." she admitted.

He looked up and she was gonna say he looked annoyed, but it must of been because he was just thinking of another place to go, "How about my place?"

Emma giggled a little, glancing back at him, "Yea or how bout mine? And you can meet Mr Simpson personally. Bring your best tie."

Jay smiled more and more and shook his head, "Does your daddy know you got such a mouthy attitude? Cause I might bring it up over dinner."

Him and Emma shared a look, knowing that''d _never _happen

He cleared his throat, going serious, "Really though... my place is fine.."

Silence

Emma was biting the end of her tounge, not so sure.. but was curious to where he lived and who he lived with and what planet he came from.

"maybe." she left it to the imagination, which he loved and he grinned some more. Damn that grin. Emma smiled back.

When it was time for her math class, she sat near the back since all the other desks were taken. Nobody liked sitting up front like Emma did unless it was a test day, so they could run out faster when they were done.

Emma sighed, noticing the only seat open next to Sean Cameron. He looked up and noticed that too and seemed rather tense about it too but shifted like it was okay.

He watched her still look around though, trying to find another and couldn't help but snicker. This was the **only **seat left.

She sat down, careful not to get close and waited for their teacher to pass out their work.

He nervously played with the pencil in his hands and tapped it on his desk, annoying Emma completely.

"Could you stop?" she taunts

He looked at her blankly, but did so, and tucked it into his pocket awkwardly.

Emma shook her head and sighed again, looking around. How long was this class gonna be?

"Did you study?" he asked.

Emma clenched her jaw. Great, Sean wanted to commutate. Perfect.

"No, I never do."

Sarcasm. Sean decided to ignore it, "Yea, I was up all night trying to study." he smiled a bit.

Emma looked at him, looking bored as ever and he huffed.

"Emma, do we **have **to hate another?" he snapped.

"I think so." she nodded

He gave her a 'stop' kind of look, annoyed with her attitude but shut his eyes and shook his head, "I know I started it, but I regret it .I said it before, our break up sucked-"

Emma giggled, "I don't hate you for that. I hate you as a person." she stopped giggling and looked at Sean like he was...nothing.

Like they never even dated or were even friends.

That hit him hard and he swallowed the hurt, "I'm different." he got angrier at her look of disbelief and he madly got up, "Fine. Go to hell!" he said.

She lifted an eyebrow as he stormed around her, "Yeah." she said sarcastically, "You've _changed."_ she leaned forward as the student infront of her handed her the test and awkwardly looked at the moment.

A few people did.

Sean had stopped in his tracks, and his stomach turned. She was right. Maybe he hadn't. He gritted his teeth but went back to his seat, slowly sitting back down next to her.

Emma looked to her was sitting next to her now and paused, seeing Sean back. Well... that was different. She ignored it though but couldn't help but eye him during the test weirdly.

Why was he trying to be friends or something? He had Ellie now, and his 'cool' friends. She had... well, she was fine right now. Something was making her feel less empty now . . .better. She was growing up.

The test went fine, she felt she aced and thought about her answers when she walked out of school at the end of the day

When she was starting to walk home, J.T skateboarded past her, "What you doing this Friday?" he slowed down, keeping up with her walking pace.

Emma was about to put her earphones in to listen to her ipod, but paused, "That Trivia game, remember?"

He looked up and oh'd, "riiight, Toby too right?"

"shocked you know he's a part of it." teased Emma, "He said you haven't been speaking to him." they waited to cross the street as a car was turning.

He looked disgusted, "I won't speak to him as long as he speaks to Rick Murray." he eyed her, "You're not friends with him, right?"

"What if I was?" she taunted back, beginning to walk again. Maybe she wasn't friends, but she wasn't mean and didn't mind him around...he wasn't causing any harm.

J.t just stayed silently, skateboarding next to her. Why was it it wierd that he'd still talk to her but not Toby?

"Maybe you're jealous he found a friend thats more.. his brain side." Emma insisted.

Jt just mocked her, mouthing what she just said and she laughed, rolling her eyes

"J.t, you're his fun side type of friend. You can't disagree that you wouldn't find fun in his dorky side though..that's where Rick comes in. Kinda like you and Danny." Emma said.

J.t stopped and thought about it to shrug, "Maybe. We'll see what happens. Good luck on Friday." he told her and she nodded.

She didn't notice a car coming up behind and waved back to J.t, watching him go as she went to cross the street and gasped when this car sped right around recklessly and stopped hard infront of her.

Friggin Jay

"you could have hit me!?" she snapped, and he grinned up at her from his drivers window.

"You should of looked _both ways_." he mocked the safety rules of crossing a street. EMMA should know this. Besides, he wasn't even close..he just knew she liked to yell at him.

She smiled shaking her head and watched him look around the neighborhood and pierce his lips together tightly til looking at her and his lips opened a little until he finally spoke.

"hop in."

"I can walk." she insisted, she was only houses away from hers. She adjusted her bag on her shoulder awkwardly, wishing she didn't feel the wanting to go with him.

They'd only be up to no good.

He didn't say anything, but didn't leave either and cleared his throat, "For an hour." he gave her a promising look, "no funny business."

Emma eyed him, _whatever that meant._

She nodded though, sighing and surrendering herself to him as she walked around the car and his eyes followed after her until she got in and he looked away when she glanced at him, putting on her seatbelt and then his car dashed away.

_**Oh I want to get away  
I want to fly away  
Yeah yeah yeah**_

Let's go and see the stars  
The milky way or even Mars  
Where it could just be ours

Let's fade into the sun  
Let your spirit fly  
Where we are one  
Just for a little fun  
Oh oh oh yeah !

I want to get away  
I want to fly away  
Yeah yeah yeah

(lenny kravits-fly away)


	13. Want her, Feel Her, Taste her

"Cozy.." Emma drifted, looking around and trying not to look how she felt. A little, bothered.

Jay had opened his trailer door for her to enter. It wasn't like one of those RV trailers, but rather the ones people live in. Looked nice inside, it did, but she couldn't help but feel bad for Jay, then feel bad she felt bad, knowing he didn't need her pity.

He snickered at her remark, like he knew her so well and what she was thinking.

"It' s a shit hole." he insisted

Emma shook her head no, turning back to him. It wasn't that bad actually, it'd be cute as a summer home vacation or something but not somewhere to live. But, if it was her summer trailer she'd put nicer frames on the wall and keep the place clean... there were clothes scattered even on the couches and a smell of cigerette. Dishes not cleaned and piled in the sink.

Jay opened his fridge and grabbed a beer, "Want one?" he shut up, remembered who he was talking to and it just must of been reflex.

She gave him a look knowing he remembered just who she was and watched him close the door and open his beer bottle.

"at 3 in the afternoon?" taunted Emma, not hearing a door opening behind her, "How charming."

"she's right."

Emma jumped at the rough voice and loud cough, stepping out of the man's way who had quite the intimating look. He was buff, tall, scruffy beard with hair color just like Jay...must be his Dad. He wore jeans with car grease on them, and a white wife beater with a plaid blue shirt unbuttoned.

Looked like he had numbers tattooed on his neck too.

Though he had just agreed with her, he asked Jay for himself, "Pass me one."

Jay, annoyed at being told what to do, got him one anyways and his Dad took it, opening it as he leaned on the kitchen sink and eyed Emma.

Jay walked to her and muttered, "Lets go"

Emma felt shivers up her spine when Jay even placed a hand behind her back to guide her but they were stopped.

"whose this?" his Dad asked, pointing at Emma with his already half drunken beer.

"Greenpeace."

Emma shot Jay a look for introducing her like **that **and corrected him, "_Emma_." she glanced to his Dad.

His Dad chuckled, eyeing her, "Geez." he glanced at Jay and Jay rolled his eyes but narrowed his eyes back at him.

What was he trying to say?

"Your names even as precious as you look." teased his Dad and Emma tried not to smile.

"She's fifteen." taunted Jay jokingly, as if the man was checking Emma out but knew what he was saying.

Emma was a golden girl. And she shouldn't be here...but she was.

That was amusing and interesting to the man. He couldn't help but gaze between Jay and Emma closely when he took another sip.

"You're seventeen." he says, "I'm 40." he smirked as he took another sip, "Just sayin'." he shrugged innocently.

"Thought you were at work." Jay said, wanting to change the subject.

"Shop wasn't busy." he replied, "Will be tomorrow so I'm going to need you."

Jay just shrugged with a nod and pushed Emma gently toward the door behind them but she tossed over her shoulder, "nice meeting you."

"_Nice_ meeting _you_." smirked Jay's dad.

Jay gave a smirk over his shoulder at the guy, and shook his head, knowing what he really meant was it crazy a girl like Emma would be with a guy like him in a place like this and using her manners that these two guys didn't have, but seemed to use now that she was around.

Jay **never** brought home a girl like **this.**...or in general. Alex would be snuck in if he wanted a late night booty call but that was mostly it. No real introduction, no manners, no good vibes.

"Work?" Emma curiously asked him, going into his room. She was a little nervous, so focused on their conversation as she gazed over his room.

Cleanish, for a boys room. Small old 30 inch tv with antennas still on it in the corner on his dresser. His blankets and bed not made. The smell of waterfalls and flower scent around the room...must be his soap or something. Ash tray by his bed, which was wierd cause it didn't smell like cigerette in here so he must of stopped smoking- at least inside his room.

"Car Repair." was all Jay replied, watching her at the corner of his eye go and sit on the edge of his bed as his fingers tapped slowly on his beer bottle.

_Christ._

Emma Nelson, in his bedroom.

Emma bit her lip, wondering what else they could talk about as he walked up slowly to her and she got nervous, feeling her heart begin to pound.

He wanted to feel her, taste her, the _strawberries_...but he promised no funny business.

"Your Dad's nice." she said.

He laughed, bringing the beer to his lips but spoke before he drank it, "That's my Uncle."

Emma's mouth shaped an 'o', "W-wheres.." she drifted off, not wanting to bring up anything bad as she noticed Jay swallow hard, knowing she was about to ask about his parents but she stopped.

Wow. She'd never seen anything strike Jay or bother him, not **really **anyways, but now he was avoiding her eyes even.

He seemed to go into old Jay mode and forgot about his promise as he sat down next to her and stared down at her bare shoulders. He couldn't stop himself as he leaned down, and closed his eyes, kissing her glowing smooth skin.

Emma silently whimpered, and moved her head slightly to the opposite side of him, she closed her eyes and felt his soft lips against her shoulder. She tried hard to resist and looked back over to him, moving slightly and he looked back up at her.

"You promised." she didn't mean to whisper, or sound weak, but she did.

He looked away almost madly, but then... Jay _Hogart _looked sad.

Emma felt horrible that it may of been her fault...not just for _denying_ him but the fact she may of brought up something she shouldn't had. She had a huge feeling maybe his parents were gone

He didn't look like he wanted to talk about it and began to gulp his beer.

You know, Jay could put on such a show, Emma noticed. He sat with her, like it was boring or something, but she knew if it really was for him, he'd kick her out. He was getting that easy to read for her now.

So they talked, and she made him laugh again, trying to forget about what she had brought up and then to entertain him, and herself a little...she took the beer from his hands while raising an eyebrow at him when he gave her a shocked look.

He smirked, watching her slowly bring it to her lips, "I'm starting to think I may be a bad influence."

She didn't sip yet and only lowered the beer a little from her lips to reply, "I've drank once or twice. My moms wedding she let me."

"You're wild." he taunted, rolling his eyes but still grinned widely, watching her take the sip.

She did shock him though, by taking more of a sip and downed the rest and gave it back to him. She passed him one of those 'mission complete' looks and giggled herself.

When he took the empty beer back from her, he couldn't help but have his fingers brush hers and he couldn't do it anymore..

The beer dropped and Emma moaned into Jay's kiss when he cupped her face. They kissed for a few moments until Emma laid back on Jay's bed with him over her.

Even after all this time of makin out and him pleasing her, she could still feel so innocent and tense up under him. But he always knew how to make her just relax. Emma Nelson never relaxed..not til him.

They pulled away breathless and Emma opened her eyes, seeing Jay stare down at her with a wierd look in his eyes.

"what?" she asked.

He seemed to numbly shrug and looked away from her, guilty looking for something. What? Was it Alex or something? Was he feeling bad for that?

She laid beside him, curling a bit in his sheets that were ever so comfy and he laid on his back as she did on her side, directing him.

He turned his head to look at her and got lost in it. _fuck. fuckfuckfuck._

She yawned, and blushed a bit, "I could fall asleep." she admitted and huffed, "there's been too many tests around the trivia game coming up."

"ditch it." he insists.

She shook her head, "I don't want to."

He seemed to frown more, wishing she would so he, Alex and Spinner could stick to their plan without any distractions.

He then softened, seeing her _really _look tired as her eyes were just 'resting' but he could hear her breath deepening.. she could sleep, she really could, he wouldn't mind...

Emma fluttered her eyes open and sat up quick, "Oh my god!" she looked around the dark room.

Jay groaned, lying next to her.

She looked to his night stand and shoved his shoulder, "Jay! We fell asleep."

He groaned again, laying on his stomach and corrected, "you did. Then I did." he informed and tried to get back to sleep.

"Snake's going to kill me."

He felt her jump up and groaned one more time almost madly. Couldn't they just stay and sleep?! It was around 10 pm now, might as well finish it up.

"Fine I'll walk." she informed, and he heard his door about to open but he turned onto his back and got up quick, and she turned

He gave her an insane look. Walk alone? At this hour? In THIS 'neighbourhood' ? I don't think so. Fucking creeps and low lifes out there, Emma was a walking target and the way she looked? A Jackpot to some.

"Lets go." he growled, grabbing his keys and led her out.

They left the trailer, passing a drunk Uncle Tony on the way who was on the couch with many other beers around him.

Emma eyed the back of Jay's head kinda sadly and they left, getting into his car

When Jay got back, he walked slowly into his room, eyes blank. His mind? Not.

he fell onto his bed and he turned his head, smelling her scent still to his left.. .he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep when his cell rang.

He scoffed but rolled over and grabbed it off his nightstand.

"what?"

"It's me." came Alex's voice.

He paused, and exhaled as he sat up, rubbing his tired eyes, "What?" he repeated.

"alex." she said,thinking he didnt hear her, "I wanna come over."

He glanced to his left again but coughed slightly, "Fine, if you really want. Can you bring some beer?"

"Sure, come meet me."

"no." he laid back down, trying to get comfortable and thought maybe he could get some sleep before she came over.

"Jay," she sneered, "There could be creeps at this hour. Your trailer park is sketchy. I'm a **girl**. **Your **_girl_friend, remember?"

He opened his eyes, staring at his ceiling. Yea he fuckin remembered...

"Halfway." he muttered and got up.


	14. Say the Word And I'd Be Your Man

_ZZzzzZZZZzzzzz_

_He got closer and closer, walking down the isle of books in the Library. . down __**their **__isle._

_There she was, back turned, holding a back and reading whatever the hell her little heart desired._

_"What you doing?" he asked, peering over her shoulder to peek but she had just shut it and turned to him, smiling happy._

_**Happy**__.. to see __**him.**_

_He grinned back just as wide, staring into her soft caramel eyes and cupped her chin into his hands, pulling her up to kiss him-_

_"Jay wake up." Emma softly said, moving her head away before he could kiss her and he gave her a weird look. _

_What?_

"JAY!" roared a **not so soft voice, "**get up!"

.. Jay stirred awake.

"Jay, we're gonna be late." Jay felt a rough shove on his bare chest, and opened his eyes

Alex wore his shirt and was running around. It's not what you think, they actually didn't do anything last night... Jay couldn't uh, fuck, well..get hard. He insisted to Alex that he was just too drunk since they had gotten hammered last night.

"Who cares." he said, deciding to ditch school today.

"Me." she answered, throwing her clothes on and then crawled on the bed, "And, it's also the day we set everything up before the trivia bullshit thing tomorrow."

Jay opened his eyes. Oh yeah. . fuck.

Alex raised an eyebrow, looking down at his body in the sheets and taunted him with a smirk, "Seems someone finally got it up." she put a leg on the other side of him and got onto his lap.

Jay was hard, but when Alex got on him, he just wanted her off, "You're right, we need to go set up the prank on Murray." he shoved her off a bit, getting up and wore his black boxers. He found his jeans and Alex scowled but waved it off.

They went to school.

"Hello Emma."

Emma looked up from entering school herself and Rick latched onto her right.

"Hi."

"What are you up to this morning?" he asked her.

Emma's eyes scanned the halls and it fell on something down the hall to the right... leaning against his locker, with this girl friend

"Nothing." Emma grumbled, going to her locker and tried to ignore that something.

"Maybe we can grab coffee?" he suggested, smiling sheepishly and adjusted his glasses. Must of been a nervous habit.

Emma frowned but then sighed, why not? "Sure. I'll meet you at the Dot, I just gotta go see my dad and get my study notes."

"Delightful." he said and turned, walking straight to the Dot.

Emma laughed a bit shaking her head. What a dork. Just a friend though. Hoped he understood that.

Down the hall, Jay's eyes fell onto that scene about a second ago and saw Rick _actually _make Emma laugh and his eyes darkened.

"did you do it yet?" a voice snapped him out of it.

Spinner came over to them, rubbing his hands together like he was some scientist.

Jay rolled his eyes. He was such a dweeb. "At lunch." he told him, "You got the stuff?"

Spinner nodded, opening his bags and showed him a big bag of feathers. Alex laughed and dug her hands into her pockets, looking excited.

"Hide it." Alex suddenly hissed, seeing Sean and Ellie coming.

Jay understood her distrust in letting them two know though. These two acted so high and mighty like Rick didn't matter the slightest or what he did. And didn't Ellie kinda know Terri _McWhatever _personally before?

Blame his rough past, but Jay couldn't stand the thought of guy who abused girls or their own girl especially.. he also couldn't stand nor handle it well lately that the girl hanging around this freak was Emma.

It was kinda killing him..

"Hey." Ellie greeted them.

Sean nodded, "You guy going to school tomorrow? Word is Raditch is making everyone to watch it in the gym." he explained.

Alex, Spinner and Jay smirked. They thought they'd only be able to watch it happen on TV. But up close and personal?

"Perfect." Spinner insisted.

Ellie gave him a look look, "What's perfect?"

Alex passed Spin a glare and faked a smile between Sean and Ellie, "You two are." she taunted, pinching Sean's cheek who slapped her hand off. She rolled her eyes and turned to Jay, kissing him quickly and walked off.

Jay blinked and Sean must of noticed him jump when Alex did that, and not even she did.

The bell rang and Sean kissed Ellie goodbye, "See yea." he watched her go and turned to Spinner.

Spinner shared a silent look with Jay before he left, reminding him they'd meet up at lunch.

Jay and Sean stood alone now as students walked by and Sean asked him, "You and Alex good?" he asked

Jay shifted a bit, fixing his hat, "Fine as ever."

Sean chuckled at that. Which meant shitty either way, right? Sean didn't get it either.. as much as Jay could be an ass, he was a cool guy to be around. Good to have on your side when he wasn't be a jerk. He could have a better girl if he wanted to..did he want to?

Meanwhile, Emma turned to walk to her class and stopped in her tracks, seeing Jay and Sean talking.

She looked around and decided to go the other way. That'd be awkward.. she stopped in her tracks, seeing Manny who raised a knowing eyebrow at her, glancing where she did to.

Emma's heart stopped. What the hell **did **Manny _know?_

"Where've you been lately?" Sean asked back over with Jay.

Jay snickered with a shrug, "You know me."

"Ravine." nodded Sean.

Jay bit the end of his tongue and looked around, dammit. He wanted to talk to Emma before she went to class.

He was in lock though, when he noticed her just walk out of the school. Jackpot! And skipping? Naughty.

He jogged and right before she stepped a foot into the parking lot she gasped and turned, to laugh strangely at him, "What?"

He looked around oddly and then at her, "Are you _skipping_?"

She gave him an obvious look and lifted a note between her fingers, excusing her from class, "Going to go meet Rick to study for tomorrow."

Jay groaned, "This game is all the schools fucking talking about. Can we just go.." he shrugged his shoulder, "Chill?"

Chill? Emma smirked a bit and shook her head no, "I need to study."

"Emma it's all you do, you're gonna pop your brain apart."

Emma frowned but considered it also before. Maybe he was right. She felt bad to ditch Rick though, he was already there.

"Comeon." geez, he was so good with getting his way. He took her hand, even though in the middle of the school parking lot and anyone could look out the window and see.

He didn't lead her back, or to his car, but to the fresh green grass and through some trees. It brought you to another park that wasn't the ravine and Emma actually raised an eyebrow

It was pretty and they were alone. How did he know of this place?

He saw her wondering eye and smirked, "Dope spot." he declared and she rolled her eyes sitting down next to him.. carefully that it, since only wearing a black skirt and a quarter sleeve tight white top. Her hair was curled slightly, and the sun shined down on her like it always did.

Jay stared at her as she began to open her books, sitting in the grass with him til he laid back on his elbows. He went to nap a bit as she began to study, but he peaked his eyes open once more, looking at her. She really did work herself so hard.. She looked up, catching him looking but just blushed and looked back down as he smirked.

_**Turn around and you're walking toward me  
I'm breaking down and you're breathing slowly  
Say the word and I will be your man, your man**_

_**[Chorus]**__**  
Say when  
And my own two hands will comfort you  
Tonight, tonight  
Say when  
And my own two arms will carry you  
Tonight, tonight**_


	15. Can't Keep My Hands Off You

He must of drifted off a bit, liking the silence with her, but she then tapped her pencil on his head when she was bored of studying and he woke up. He was confused, hearing the birds chirping and feeling the grass under him and then remembered where he was with, and who he was with..and who was FINALLY done studying.

_finally_.

Emma yelped but giggled a bit, being pulled down on top of him til she rolled onto the side of him and he laid on his side to look down at her, and hovered over a little as she caught her breath from giggling.

She looked up at him still smiling, and slowly softened. She really did like his eyes. Why'd he have to be such a jerk. Such a very taken, somebody else's boyfriend, jerk.

He leaned down, pausing for a second before slowly kissing her, and she closed her eyes and softly kissed him back. No tounge, completely innocent. . like her.

But that hard buldge in his pants as he pressed against her, not so innocent..nor hidable as she felt it and couldn't help but blush and kiss him a bit deeper. She liked the way she could turn him on so hard ..

She didn't know what it was.. any other time she wouldn't of done it but this place was beautiful and well, so was he. Jay grunted, shocking but greatfully pleased when he felt her hand grope his hardon in his jeans and opened his eyes a bit, bitterly and hopelessly. She **can't **do **that** if she wasn't going to do **anything to him.**

She gazed up at him so sweetly, yet the sound of his zipper was heard as he slowly went down. Her fingers didn't shake for once, but her heart did.

She watched his eyes shut when she touched _him_..god he was _big._ He was also older though.. she didn't know if even Sean or Chris were like this.. but she somehow doubted it. His eyes shut harder when she began to stroke and she watched his head begin to hang down and his forehead laid down on hers.

He was starting to breath heavier and the hard cock in her hand was throbbing. She bit her lip nervously, hoping she was doing a good job and thinking she wasn't when she felt his hand slide down to hers... was he going to stop her?

No. He tightened her hand around his dick more and she even gasped a little but let him teach her and bit her lip harder, putting her all into stroking him harder and soon enough, faster and he was starting to pant. He didn't want to crush her as he laid over her so used his hands in to hold him up but he grinded once or twice in her hand until she felt him cum and.. yuck.. he couldn't of warned her that it shot out like t_hat_? She would of moved. All over her the end of her pretty little skirt.

He panted deeply, feeling himself calming down and couldn't believe how fucking good she was for her first time doing that. That was her first time, right? There no other guys...right?! He opened his eyes to look at her but the thought washed away as she was looking down between them and had let him go and looked to be a bit squirm-ish underneath him

He laughed a bit, sitting up over her and took his coat off. He used it to whipe her skirt clean and then chucked his coat away in the grass... guess he'd need a new coat after.

Emma still laid on the grass, looking up at him and the sun twinkling her eyes. His perfect jaw, his famous hat still worn backwards even as the sun was glaring awfully hard today. He looked perfect in the light, his milky skin getting a bit of sun and she noticed he had a tattoo around his upper arm like a banner. He was now buckling up his jeans before he looked back at her, smoldering her and movved back over her.

Emma sucked in her breath and watched him at the corner of her eyes. He kissed her shoulder to shoulder, eyes still on hers and then moved down her throat, to leaving kisses down her chest and she lost her breath completely, he was moving down more her clothed stomach, but slowly pushing her shirt up until she sat up in a hurry, "Jay."

He knew she wasn't up for _that _I guess yet. But fuck was he dying to know what she tasted like down there too. Would it still be like strawberries?

He groaned a bit, throwing his hat off and laying his head on her stomach and they listened to the birds chip, "GP I haven't done a _thing _to you for a whole week." he said it so child like, like she was being mean to him and had no right to say no.

She tried not to giggle and blushed til gasping, hearing the school bell go off from where they were. Reality set in. Oh my god. . she just did THAT to JAY right beside the SCHOOL. What if some random student, or worse, someone they knew had come into the small area?

"I gotta go." she insisted.

He frowned more, but was happy she still didn't move as he laid his head still on her soft flat stomach.

Emma didn't like how she couldn't move, couldn't catch her breath. She felt like Jay was doing something to her.. .that maybe he didn't think he knew he was but she was frozen and she...she didn't wanna move, go, or leave him either.

As she was laying up on her elbows in the green gas, Jay's head on her stomach, he let his hand rest of her knee. She laid back a bit, enjoying his thumb sway soft circles on her knee...she loved when he did that, specially the first time when it was on her hand when they held hands.

His thumb was circling slowly and smoothy up her knees, then thigh and he heard her soft moan and stomach tensed a little under him.

His hand was now going up her skirt, between it and the soft circular motion of his thumb was rubbing on her clit, against her panties fabric.

Her panties were the slightest bit damp, but showed him how wet she could be inside them, just for him. It made him hard already again.

"Fuck Em." he breathed quietly.

She whimpered and moaned more loudly and he lifted his head to turn it down toward her belly botton that peeked out her slightly lifted shirt and he kissed it sweetly and moved down to just above her skirt, kissing all along there too.

"Your so fuckin wet." he whispered against her stomach then flinched when he said that and her pelvis seemed to rock more wantingly to his hand.

"uh." she arched a little until they heard that stupid damn school bell again and she gasped, sitting up and pulled him off of her with a pleading look in her eyes.

Why was he so damn good at seducing!? Didn't she say no.. she couldn't remember, or even think.

"I have to get to class." she told him, sitting up and folding her skirt down and he smirked, watching her shut her legs rather tight too and her face flushed.

He knew she was craving it now, why wouldn't she just let him finish? He'd make her feel good. he'd do anything to make her feel good.

She had gotten up and he stayed but watched her form her books up and begin to walk around him to leave

_**And when she's walking  
She's looking so fine  
And when she's talking  
She'll say that she's mine**_

She'll say I'm not so tough  
Just because  
I'm in love  
With and uptown girl

She playfully grabbed his hat that he swung off a bit ago and swung it at his face before she took off and he chuckled, watching her go.

His heart skipped and he stopped.

He frowned.

_**She's been living in her white bred world  
As long as anyone with hot blood can  
And now she's looking for a downtown man  
..That's what I am**_

He looked back where she last was and felt his heart drop, missing her already. He reminded himself at what they were doing a few moments ago, and felt his heart pound. When he thought of just her, he lost his control of himself.

Oh fuck. Oh fucking christ, no . Oh **shit.**

_**Uptown girl  
She's my uptown girl  
You know I'm in love  
With an uptown girl  
My uptown girl  
You know I'm in love  
With an uptown girl  
My uptown girl**_

(uptown girl-billy joel)


	16. Her Sunshine To His Darkness

Emma walked to her locker at the end of the day, and Manny stood there. Emma slowed down as she looked up, but then took a deep breath counting to 10.

I guess deep down she missed Manny and they did need to talk. . but what did she want?

"can I help you?" Emma couldn't help the bitterness in her voice.

Manny wouldn't get off her locker and seemed to demand, "me and your house, right now."

Emma looked at her wierdly and rolled her eyes, putting her hand on her lockers combination lock until Manny got the hint and leaned off it.

"I'm serious." Manny said more softly, "I know things." she whispered while watching people pass.

Emma paused, and stopped even trying to open her locker. Oh god...**what **things? She finally got the courage to look at her and Manny nodded.

"Jay" she whispered.

Emma's eyes widened and blinked, tilting her head. Oh my god. H-how did Manny know? How much did she..

"Out front, in 5." Manny said, and left Emma there speechless.

Meanwhile, down the hall at Ellie's locker, while the red head shuffled through her locker she was talking to Sean who she noticed didn't answer her question.

"Sean?" she stopped and looked over at him.

He leaned on the locker beside hers, and his face was directed at her, but his head was almost turned painfully the other way to look down the hall and she gazed to where it was.

Emma.

Of fucking course.

Sean jumped when Ellie slammed the locker so hard, even some kids looked over and he gave her a worried look.

"I'm done with this Sean." she sneered and turned for his mouth to drop and grab her hand.

"What? El?" he was confused, and his eyes pleaded with her.

She looked at him, her heart breaking, "I'll get my mom to pick up my things tomorrow." she turned around and couldn't stop the tears as he still held her hand so tight.

She loved when he sometimes couldn't let her go... but she **hated **the fact he wouldn't let **Emma **go either. Those two were so bad for another, she didn't understand him and Ellie did. Ellie needed him to protect her and Emma needed nobody... why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't he see she was the obvious choice to make him happy. She tried to respect this whole time that they had a past, even if they were only 13 to 14 when they dated.. Emma had made him a better guy...but Ellie made him a happier and better one.

Sean's heart ripped when Ellie yanked her hand off after glancing at something over his shoulder and after painfully watching her turn, he turned as well to see what she was even looking out.

Down the hall, Emma was clear in site. He cursed madly at himself, leaning back hopelessly on Ellie's locker and banged his head back on it twice.

"Ellie!" Sean tried to run after her.

Meanwhile, Alex, Jay and Spinner were in what looked like an attic, but where they were, was on the gym stage's top floor where lights were set up and curtains.

Spinner was unzipping his bag of feathers into the bucket Alex held and she smirked, watching it go in and she tied it to a place where she could reach on the ground for tomorrow. There next part was the yellow paint, that hadn't been opened and sitting infront of Jay as they were all kneeling.

"Jay." Spinner snapped him out of it

"Oh fuck.." he said out loud, blinked, "Yea." he muttered and got his keys out of his pocket and took the pocket knife, arching it into the pain bucket to open it then lifted it to pour into Alex's other bucket

He watched with a dark look in his eyes as the yellow paint slowly spilled into the bucket.

"There, tomorrow is going to be hilarious." Spinner insisted.

Alex laughed too and Jay finished pouring, then stared at the empty paint can in his hand.. Emma would kill him if she found out he did this. Would it be obvious that it was him? I mean, Rick had tons of enemies.. .he began to have second thoughts but shook his head. What the fuck was happening to him? Who cared what she wanted, HE wanted this, and Rick Murray deserved this.

"alright." he said and they left the buckets up there as they went down the stairs.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting

As Alex and him got out of the school, they had just caught the scene of Sean running out the Degrassi doors and after Ellie who quickly got into Ashleys Dad's vehicle. She locked the door so he couldn't open it.

"Please go." she begged Ashley and her father who glanced back at her worriedly. They nodded though, and Ellie could even hear him still yelling her name.

The car drove off.

"ELLIE!" Sean shouted and helplessly watched the car go as Alex and Jay questionably stopped behind him.

"what'd you do?" Alex taunted, crossing her arms.

Jay looked oddly at what seemed to be the perfect couple, fighting.

Sean kicked the outside trash can of Degrassi and it shot out onto the road, almost hitting a passing car and some students stared as they quickly walked past him.

"Easy Bam Bam." Jay taunted, waving his hand where the car left, "You know where she lives. Go after her."

"She's moving out, Jackass!" snapped Sean

"hey, keep taking us for granted and we'll leave you too." teased Alex, but was serious. She knew why Ellie was probably upset..they talked.

Jay looked awfully confused though until he saw Sean madly pacing back and forth until he frooze, and stared up the school stairs.

Jay looked over his shoulder, watching Emma had come out, and met up with Manny, talking about whatever. He looked back at Sean who looked at her with an unreadable look in his eyes but Jay trusted his gut which turned jealously and didn't like the way Sean was looking at her.

"You're fucking kidding me." he barked at Sean.

Sean looked over at him, and shook his head as his mouth dropped but he had been caught, and didn't know what to say. What was wrong with him!? Why couldn't he stop fucking his life up!? This was all Emma's fault!

Sean gave up, "She won't get out of my head. I love Ellie, I do. But Emma.." he didn't know what it was.

Alex shook her head at him and snickered as Jay shot daggers at Sean who even noticed them.

"You don't understand Jay, you don't know her well enough. She's got a pull on people!" he insisted.

Jay was master of lying, yet lately...couldn't seem to muster it and he looked away guilty, but still pissed off. He did know. .he soon was probably going to be just another one of her victims of it.

"Hey Nelson!" Alex called in a snippy way.

Meanwhile with Emma and Manny, they were both whispering about what she knew between her and Jay as they heard Alex bark at her and looked down the stairs, to see Alex standing with Sean and Jay.

Emma's heart stopped, seeing the girl madly coming over.

Emma noticed Sean looking bewildered and Jay looked quite bothered and her heart pounded as Alex got closer. Oh fuckin god, did she know

Emma tried to hide her flinch as even Manny jumped when Alex stopped infront of them and crossed her arms madly.

"Alex!" Barked Sean at the bottom of the stairs and madly came over as well.

Jay looked torn, going to go but panicked and held back. But he wanted to go. Fuck! What should he do!?

"Hope you're happy." Alex told her, raising an eyebrow.

Emma's mouth opened, confused and didn't want to say anything but it looked like Alex had found out or something-

"He's all yours." Alex declared.

Oh fuck she knew.

Emma tried to fight the tears and looked to Manny whose eyes were wide too. Emma didn't want to have this repuation.. or this fight.. as much as the words 'hes yours' excited her, it also scared her and she bit her trembling lip until Sean stood beside Alex and Alex shoved him a bit towards Emma.

"Send Ellie a thankyou card" Alex taunted and went back down the stairs.

Emma was stunned, and even more in shock when Alex went back down to Jay and was awfully confused. Manny put it together faster than her, seeing Sean stand infront of Emma, glaring down at his feet almost ashamed and sad, weak.

Emma glanced back down at Jay, who was staring down as well, fighting his all not to look at her and she watched with cold eyes as Alex kissed him goodbye and left him there.

She looked back at Sean. Alex meant Sean? 'He's all yours'? What'd that mean.

Sean looked up, connecting eyes with her and saw such confusion in her eyes and he understood it. He was just as confused, "Emma, I-"

Emma shoved passed him. _Now_ he wanted her back? NOW That she was finally over the heartbreak he caused her?! She felt a lump in her throat and tears burn her eyes and the humiliation washed over her.

Everyone had just watched that scene go down and even though it wasn't _Sean _who she was really fooling around with behind his girl friends back, now she was still going to get that reputation and gossip and he wasn't _the guy_.

When she charged down the stairs and went to go home, she saw Jay at the corner of her eye step foward and grab her arm

"Em."

She yanked her arm away from him like fire. How could he just STAND there!? Let his friends do this!? Not warn her Sean was being like this or thought like this o-or why he didn't stop Alex from trying to hurt her or why he wouldn't just DUMP her.

Tears poured down Emma's eyes when she finally got out of their site. Manny had been the only one who chased after her. Sean and Jay stayed back, staring sadly where she left.

Jay broke the trance first, and stormed to his civic, trying not to look suspicious or worried about Emma infront of everyone but was shaking with anger. When he got into his car, he started it, but he couldn't control his fist repeatingly begin to punch his steering wheel and sending out awkward honks from outside his vehicle. He stopped when he felt his hand go numb and he gritted his teeth, banging his head back on his seat and closed his eyes. FUCK! FUCK!

He kicked his foot out and kicked his gas pedal hard for his car to go over, "SHIT!" he cursed. It didn't go to hard, or far, but into the car parked infront of him and rear ended it.

Jay panted, and madly tried to gather himself up and shut his eyes tighter, trying to breath. His breath got steady.. and he tried to insist it was all okay.. but the thoughts of Emma and him may of being over killed him.. and her upset right now tore him apart. And the jealousy of Sean Cameron stirred in him.

Jay sadly stared at his steerwheel.

"Do you love him?" Manny whispered. It seemed her and Emma had erased anything that had happened to him and she laid behind Emma on her bed, hugging her best friend who seemed heart broken right now.

Emma cried harder, shaking her head no. She wasn't even sure what love was. But no, she did NOT love Sean Cameron. She knew that much

"I wish he'd just go away." Emma cried harder into her pillow, trembling hard, "He won't stop hurting me even when I finally feel like he can't anymore."

Manny hugged her tighter and went to open her mouth as her next question raced through her mind but she decided against it...asking Emma if she loved Jay right now, would be just too stressful.

"Forget him, Em." Manny insisted, "Tomorrow is your big night." she smiled softly, "You and Tobes are gonna win that game, and you can focus on everyone talking about that for the next few weeks."

Emma groaned, shaking her head. She wasn't so sure that that was going to be the gossip of the month.

When Manny was gone, and it became late.. Emma should of been studying but she laid sadly in her bed, nose red and eyes still puffy but had finally stopped crying.

It some ways, she tried to look at this in a good way... if it had been Alex instead of Ellie who found out the real case of what was going on...this might of been worse..at least with this, she can insist nothing was going on with her and Sean, they wouldn't date and she wouldn't be hated by the whole school. Emma was awfully confused too, she was sure Sean was really falling for Ellie. Deep down yeah she'd care for Sean because it was Sean, but they weren't lovers or anything .. it was a puppy love at 13 . .she still didn't exactly know what love even really meant.

He couldn't. Not with her. So she'd go to school tomorrow, and do exactly what Manny said to do, just move along.

Meanwhile, Jay laid in his bed too, and was woken up with the same bothered feeling of the last time he woke up and couldn't keep asleep. He sat in his hot ass room, about to get up and put his fist through his shitty ass fan at the end of his bed. He rolled over and grabbed the other pillow to his left and put it under his head and took a deep breath but then, inhaled again...he could _still _smell it._ Her. _The vanilla scent.

He groaned, rolling onto his back and staring numbly up at his ceiling. Emma Nelson was cursing him the same way she did Cameron, wasn't she?

_**I bet you're hard to get over  
I bet the room just won't shine  
I bet my hands I can stay here  
I bet you need more than you mind  
**_

He closed his eyes, remembering her soft giggles from earlier today and his chest clenched when he remembered seeing how upset she looked after the whole Sean thing. . He then couldn't help but think about better moments, and thought of her cute sexy moans, and how the sunlight had hit her today as he came in her hands. So beautiful... she was like the sunshine to his darkness.

He rolled his eyes at himself, but he had to, he felt himself begin to throb just at the thought of her and grabbed the softness in his boxers to begin to stroke, but wished it was her small hands doing the work. He shut his eyes, remembering how good of a speed she went and tried to match it, imagining her; but it wasn't the same. But as he remembered how tight she was when his fingers were inside her, and how she whimpered and clung to him when she came, it made him easily come and he gritted his teeth, letting the energy shoot from his whole body and out his cock. He panted, finishing jerking himself and groaned a bit..not sure if it was because he knew it was pathetic he had just thought of _her _to make him come like that or because it just felt that good. Picturing Emma's little tight body and innocence as he remembered her moans and gasps was hotter than a cover of Cameren Elecktra naked on a porno magazine.

He cursed, and sat up. .he was more than postive he was now one of Emmas victims now. He wanted her. So fucking badly it hurt and his heart, mind and body even ached for her.

_**And I think you're so mean, I think we should try  
I think I could need this in my life  
And I think I'm scared that I know too much  
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling**_

Meanwhile..

Emma tried to sleep, but couldn't even when she tried. She ran her fingers through her hair and stared up at the ceiling. As her fingers left her hair, they slowly ran down her neck and then chest and Emma glanced around her empty dark room a bit shyly before she bit her lip and couldn't beleive she was about to do this... but Jay was right this morning... it had been a while..a _long while._ She let her fingers trail down her stomach and under her pink bottom pajamas swiftly.

_**If you're gone maybe it's time to come home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room but I can hardly move  
If you're gone, baby, you need to come home  
There's a little bit of something me in everything in you**_

She moaned a little, only moving slowly and trying to match the circular rhythms _Jay _used on her, but it wasn't the same. She whimpered, but wasn't sure if it was because he wasn't the one doing it and she wanted him, or if she was _kinda _feeling good about it. It felt okay, and she shut her eyes, remembering every place he liked to suck on her neck and couldn't forget the groans and low growls of his sounded like. . she'd never forget how good he's make her feel and how undone she'd feel afterwards and she sped her rubbing and gasped a little. One more picture of Jay in her head and the size of his- Emma came, gasping sharply and whimpering, throwing her head back and arching her back.

Ohhh _my god._

She panted, taking her hand out but still trembled a little and closed her eyes to her exhaustion from it and the fact she hadn't slept yet. Now she felt she could sleep like a baby.. but a slight guilt washed over her, realising the fact she just did _that _to herself...and was thinking of _him._ Could be though just because he'd been the only guy to show her it. . but she felt her need for him stir in her but decided to ignore it, and finally get some rest for the big day tomorrow.

She'd deal with her feelings for Jay another day. Not the time to face them right now.

_**I think you're so mean, I think we should try  
I think I could need this in my life  
And I think I'm scared, do I talk too much  
I know it's wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing**_

If you're gone maybe it's time to come home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room but I can hardly move  
And if you're gone, yeah, baby, you need to come home  
There's a little bit of something me in everything in you 


	17. Gimmie Your Love

"How excited are you guys!?" cheered Snake to Jimmy and Emma as they were the next ones to walk into the Library.

Emma dragged herself, barely having ANY sleep lastnight but at least she didn't look it. She wore a white elbow length cotten sweater with green little stripes across it. She wore a tight dark green mini skirt too and little white tennis shoes with her hair curled

Jimmy wore his usual over sized pants and jersey shirt.

"Lets do this!" cheered Toby by Snake, one of the first to get there

Emma sat gloomily and tried to focus on her last hour to study before the big game.

"Where's Rick?" Snake asked them and Emma looked up too. Oh yeah, he was missing. The one and only came strolling in.

He looked miserable, "Oh you noticed I was gone?" he taunted but frowned sadly and sat across the table from everyone

"What's wrong with you?" Jimmy asked him, slightly, I don't know.. caring. Like Emma said, maybe things were looking up.

Seemed Rick though, was having a bad day, "Oh I don't know...I'm the most hated person in Degrassi?"

"Rick, don't say that." Snake insisted, passing him a supportive look.

"Why not ? It's true." he glanced at Emma and then down at the ground.

Toby spoke up, "I like you."

Snake nodded, "me too." he put a hand on Rick's shoulder.

Jimmy struggled a little as Emma nodded, "Me too." she insisted and Rick longed at her

Jimmy finally nodded and Rick was a bit shocked as they shared a truce look and Rick smiled a little but then frowned.

"I'll go get the study notes." Snake said, and left with that. He didn't notice Rick's mood go back down

"What's wrong?" Emma asked him.

Silence.

Toby and her shared a look and Rick caught her eyes again, "Well I'm a little confused of how someone could _like me_ who had ditched our date at the dot." he almost sneered.

Emma was a bit taken back and her eyes locked on him in confusion and went to protest the fact that it was NOT a date, but she was sorry for ditching him... she had totally forgot to tell him sorr-

"Got em." Snake cut them off, and began passing out notes.

When they were finished studying, Rick was already flying out the door, not letting Emma explain and she rolled her eyes and sighed. She didn't have time for this, she had her own problem. She began to walk to her locker to notice Sean Cameron leaning on it.

OH god. She turned around hoping to go unnoticed but someone caught her and she stopped in her tracks and gasped when he stood right behind her as she turned back his way.

"Jay!" she snapped and he looked around as he grabbed her hand. He knew one of two random freshmen saw, but he didn't care. He could barely keep it a secret anymore.

She was pulled back into the Library.

"We need to talk." he told her.

She opened her mouth but gasped again as her head whipped toward the Libarians office when they heard whistling.

Snake. Oh my god.

Her eyes widened and Jay tightened his grip around her hand, dashing into the first isle they saw to hide.

He pushed her up against their usual spot and if not so scared at the moment, Emma would of moaned. She stared back into Jay's eyes and they tried to stay quiet, "Jay.." she whispered, not wanting to be caught by her _Step dad _with **Jay Hogart**.

The whistling stopped and Jay put a hand over her mouth, shhing her so quietly and so close to her mouth that was covered with his strong hand.

His big body leaned against her small one and Jay narrowed his eyes, watching Snake pass the isle on the end but didn't notice them. Thank fucking god.

Snake was collecting the papers from their study group session and was pushing them into his breifcase.

Jay looked back into Emma's eyes, waiting for her old man to just beat it already. As he gazed into her eyes, he got lost. Emma's brown eyes stared into his striking grey ones with a sparkle of blue and she was getting lost in them, as he with hers as he couldn't stop his hand from feeling up the back of her thigh to her even her ass.

Emma shut her eyes but moaned, and Jay tightened his grip on her mouth from being too loud but he felt himself twitch in his pants and he leaned closer, pushing his hand right back between her thighs and began to rub her bare clit when his fingers pushed her panties to the side.

Her head almost rolled back, her eyelashes fluttering when she closed them and let her hips fall into his hand surrendering. See? She didn't have fingers like his talented ones. Her arms rested on his shoulders, gripping his shirt in her fists.

She whimpered, wishing she had the energy to push him away and stop this bad behavior in the Library.

Jay hynotizingly watched her rock her hips and she would slightly grind hers against him when she did since his hand was between them and he clenched his jaw, feeling his cock throb painfully for her. Snakes whistling had started up again and her eyes widened, remembering he was around and whimpered again but Jay still didn't let her go and as much as she wanted him to, she also didn't want it to stop and glared into his eyes but still automatically met his hand with her hips and moaned into his hand once more before taking it off her mouth when one of her hands came off his shoulder and grabbed his fingers into hers.

He breathed unsteadily, tangling his fingers with her as his other hand pleasured her and she leaned back against the book shelf, feeling the orgasm begin to wash through her and Snake had walked by and out the door.

Emma finally cried out and her knees were weak, he caught her in his arms as his hand slid up and down her folds twice more and she whimpered erotically into his ear as she nuzzled his neck, letting him hold her up and support her.

She panted and her arms automatically wrapped around him as his wrapped around hers rather tightly and she was breathless as it was but still enjoyed it.

She finally let her arms drop, standing on her own and they stood face to face slowly and she eyed him sadly. Did he even _care _or was she just some slut on the side Alex would never know about? She looked away a bit painfully.

Meanwhile Jay grinned a bit softly, caressing a curly hair out of her face and her bangs shook as she shook her head, "Don't do that." she almost ordered.

He cringed, wondering why he couldn't touch her _like that _even though knew the answer. It was too personal. He nodded though, acting like it didn't hurt.

She backed away from him, leaning on the other side of the books and asked, "What'd you want?" she seemed bitter now

He looked down and back to her, "Were wondering if you were okay." he confessed

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Because of yesterday? Or because of right now when you just used me like a slut when my **step dad** was 12 feet away?" she angirily shoved him and he grabbed her hands

"Emma-" he saw the hurt and anger in her eyes. Had he really just hurt her by that session a moment ago? He thought she was sorta into it. . and he knew he shouldn't of, not with the threat of Snake maybe catching them, he just didn't think. Lately when he looked at Emma, he looked and ONLY saw Emma .. so when he wanted her, he just tried to take her whenever he could.

Maybe that **was **selfish.

"Don't say that." she had snapped again, before he could say anymore. It was suppose to be Nelson or Greenpeace... ever Emma. Again, too personal.. .to real. . .

Don't do that, don't say that, Jay couldn't handle it anymore.

"I missed you." he stepped forward

"don't give me that bullshit." she snickered in disbelief, shaking her head and hid her tears. Why did her heart hurt so bad right now?

She felt like it was twisting apart.

"what?" he asked, confused . He did. He **missed **her and it'd only been 10 hours since he last saw her.

"Your stupid lines don't work on me." she tried to wash down her pain, "I have somewhere to be. You have someone to go to." with that, she shoved by him when again he tried to stop her but she ran out, and didn't stop.

He stood there, coldness running through him and feeling that ache stir in him again, only not just for her, but literally in pain. He'd never felt hurt before,not like this... not since, well, when he was a boy who realised his parents left him.

Emma had just left him.

His eyes went cold and dark.

_**Gimme your love, gimme your love  
Gimmie your love**_

_**I don't wanna let go  
And although I should  
I can't leave you alone  
Cause you're so disarming  
I'm caught up in the midst of you  
And I cannot resist at all**_

Emma ran as hard as she could to the girls bathroom. Manny saw her go in and ripped away from Liberty and Darcy, running after her when she saw tears running down Emma's eyes.

Emma Nelson **never **cried? . . Not like this.

_**Boy if I do  
The things you wanna to  
The way I used to do  
Could you love me baby  
You leave me feelin used  
Cause you go and break my heart**_

Heartbreaker you've got the best of me  
But I just keep on comin' back incessantly  
Oh why did you have to run your game on me  
I should have known right from the start  
You'd go and break my heart  
(Gimme your love, gimme your love)  
(Gimme your love, gimme your love)

_**{Mariah Carey}**_


	18. All Comes Crashing Down

_**(Macy Grey- I try)  
I may appear to be free  
But I'm just a prisoner of your love  
I may seem alright and smile when you leave  
But my smiles are just a front  
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you  
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin  
I try to say goodbye and I choke  
I try to walk away and I stumble  
Though I try to hide it it's clear  
My world crumbles when you are not near**_

Jay burned the end of his cigerette, lighting it with a desperate mood. He inhaled it deeply, missing it and not believing it'd been days since his last one

She was seriously changing him and she had no fucking idea.

He coughed slightly, knowing his lungs were suffering abit from taking it all back in and he hoped it went down and hurt the heart that was betraying him.

His door opened as he took another drag and Amy crawled in, "Hey Hogart." she purred.

He merely looked over and just rolled his window down, exhaling the smoke from his lips out and numbly stared at his cars dash.

Emma had **no idea **what she was doing to him. He couldn't even sleep with his own fucking girl friend- his eyes widened.

Oh god, oh fuck no. This was not the Hogart was, he was **not** one girl type of guy. He turned his head toward Amy, feeling her hands slide to his thigh and grip it.

He had to try

Amy happily kissed him back when he made the move, and like old old times, she began to unbotton his jeans and zip down his fly.

He gritted his teeth, pulling away from her kiss that tasted _not like strawberries. _She grabbed his member out of his pants and began to stroke. He leaned back in his seat, putting his head back and tried to get into this. Amy noticed some..difficulty.. and eyed him before smirking and leaned down, taking him all the way into her mouth. No guys could resist that.. she was a pro.

He inhaled sharply, and stayed with his eyes shut as she bobbed her head up and down. He was still soft. He whipped his hat off almost angirily and gripped her hair as she blew him hard and deep and even gagged a little but she loved his size, and he was such a good fuck and it'd been weeks since they'd done _anything_. She wanted him bad.

Seemed though, like he didn't want her.

"stop." he said sorta weakily, letting her hair go and rubbed his eyes in frustration. She kept going, "Stop!" he barked madly.

A flash of Emma's smiling face went through his mind, and he wasn't even dating the girl and he was feeling fucking horrible, like shit. She was so right, he was a bad person. Didn't deserve her.. she was crazy to fucking even let him set his eyes on her.

Amy had gotten off and gave him a rude look, "Not my fault you can't get fucking hard." she snickered at him, "Alex said you'd been having trouble but I didn't think it was this bad. You some homo now Hogart?" she taunted as he zipped his pants back up and glared at her.

He leaned over, and opened the car door on her side, "Get the fuck out." he viciously said, and picked up his cigerette again from his car cigarette tray in the middle of them.

She had a flash of anger, and rejection. What was with Jay lately? Before she got out, she watched his cold face stare out the window until it softened, and she saw..weakness in his eyes as he watched whatever was outt he windsheild.

She peaked, and only saw Emma Nelson come outside and sit on the steps. She had no idea she was being watched. The wind blew through her hair gently and she had folded her manicured little hands onto her goody little skirt and just sat there..Amy guessed she was just 'out for air' since so obsessed with the enviroment. Wait a minute.

She glanced back at Jay, watching him in a trance and his cigerette was burning out and ashes a few centemetres and he hadn't even noticed. He was _staring _at Emma Nelson like he was fuckin inlov-

"Oh my god." Amy said out loud, snapping him out of it.

He looked at her, trying to rip his eyes off Emma so she didn't catch him, but the amused blown away face said it all..she saw. She laughed and tried to cover her mouth and his blood boiled. Amy was the dumbest fucking slut he'd ever encounter.

"Get out!" he roared.

She laughed but did open the door, "She is **so **out of your league." she laughed again, shaking her head.

Jay shook his anger, and fear and glanced back between her and Emma and she slammed the door but bent down since the window was open.

"_Finally. __**Someone**__ to _break **your **heart this time, Hogart." with that, she stalked off and his mouth dropped, looking to where she left and then down.

His eyes slowly gazed up and saw Emma getting up too now, and going inside. Her little trivia show was about to start..that's where everyone was now. He swallowed the pain in his throat and opened the door to get out and go too.

He had stopped near the back entrance, and heard the crowd inside cheering and chanting. He heard the buzzer of the game going on and off and the old Jay was screaming at him to go in there and watch the little freak Rick Murray get what's comin... the other was too afraid to watch Emma see it all go down and find out it was him.

He jumped a little and cursed when the next buzzer went off. Sounded like Degrassi was winning. He finally yanked the back door open and went in.

Spinner was sitting near that door, like they had set up..and Alex was missing, but the two knew just where she was also. Jay came over and sat with him in the crowd.

On stage the two teams stood behind tall desks with buttons on it to hit for the answer. He smirked a little proudly when he had just sat down, hearing Emma get the correct answer and even she swayed a bit in her spot, happy she got it.

Then it all came down to Rick...also, what him Spinner and Alex had hoped it would.

The game host began to ask Rick the question. He stood between Emma and Toby. Jay hoped the paint wouldn't splash onto Emma's pretty little skirt and hair.

Then, it all came crashing down in the second Rick had answered the correct answer to his question, and Degrassi cheered as he won them their game. Camera men were zooming their cameras on Rick as confetti blew everywhere and everyone was clapping. ... Rick looked in bliss, and Jay almost had a moment of second thoughts, **until he saw Rick had grabbed Emma's hand**.

Jay's eyes darkened, seeing even Emma tense from it. She watched her hand try to struggle out of Ricks hold without making a scene, but it looked like Rick was holding to tight and Jays blood boiled. Guy didn't change. He deserved this. He looked to the side of the stage, nodding slightly at Alex who nodded back and grinned to him and Spinner before pulling a rope.

Everyone gasped, and some shouted as paint poured down right on RickMurray. It looked like mustered, and Toby and Emma jumped back..even Jimmy stood there in shock, just staring. Next, slowly, little feathers came down and stuck to Rick

He was covered in paint and feathers. He looked like a chicken.

It was a horrible silence, until someone in the crowd couldn't hold in their laugh... and someone joined in.

"stop! Stop that!" Snake hissed at some students to shut up but soon enough almost everyone was laughing, pointing or clapping at Ricks unfortunate prank.

He just stood there, like a statue... completely still.

It made Jay wonder, but he snapped out of it when Spinner nudged him, laughing and Jay just let out a small snicker and shook his head as he weakly clapped.

Emma, on stage, hid a bit behind the boys Jimmy and Toby and stared at Rick with pity and sorrow. He was finally going to have one moment, just one, to get the acception of Degrassi and then it had to end like that.

Who would do that?

She glanced around the stage, but saw no one, but did eye the buckets over Rick with string attached. She wasn't a stupid girl, someone part of school council was part of this..but who could be so cruel? Paige hated Rick, but would never sink so low..

One name shot through her head. Alex. But that girl was too stupid to come up with a plan like that and Emma's eyes darted for the one and only and saw him smirking next to Spinner, both guys eyeing Rick like he was some masterpiece of their art.

Emma caught Jay's eyes and she scowled at him. She knew him too well. He slowly stopped smirking and just looked away, scowling himself and looked back at her with almost sad puppy eyes but she had turned and ran after Rick when he finally stormed out, ignoring Snake's pleads to wait.

Jay rubbed the back of his neck, eyes down as Alex came and joined him and Spinner, trying to hide her laughter.

_**{N.e.r.d-Rockstar)  
It's almost over now  
It's almost over now**_

You think that you don't have to ever quit  
You think that you can get away with it  
You think the light won't be ever lit

It's almost over now  
Almost over now

Something's on your chest, Better get it off  
There'll be no one left, when we set it off  
We ain't gonna take it no more  
Since It's almost over now  
Almost over now


	19. Tounge Tied

**Hey guys I'm gonna flash through the Rick and Emma moment, I'm sure all of you remember how it happened in Times Stands Still.**

Emma: Rick! Rick! The feathers thing is so stupid. And, it only makes the people who did it look totally juvinille!

Rick: They're life ruiners. Everyone laughing. They're all life ruiners...

Emma: But nobody is ever going to forget this, and now everyoneknows who the smartest guy in school is..

Rick took that the wrong way, and leaned in to kiss her. Emma gasped in sharply, eyes widening and tried to back away but he grabbed her. She struggled as he kissed her until she finally shoved him off for trying to kiss her.

Rick: I thought you loved me...

**loved?!**_ how could he think that..._

Emma: I felt sorry for you! *_looks down at her sweater with yellow on it now in places Rick had touched her and cringed_* I pitied you, Rick, get a clue!

Ricks terror stricken eyes watched her turn and run away.

_**NEXT SCENE.**_

Emma was struggling with either crying or laughing. What just happened? She bitterly shook her head and turned around another corner to get away from _him, _to bump into the arms of another guy she was also not so pleased with right now

Jay looked down at her and opened his mouth to then slowly shut it. Emma expected him to speak, but when he didn't, her eyes followed his trail down her sweater. He saw a yellow imprint of the side of her stomach.

_Rick._

Emma blinked, trying to fight the tears now and tried to just get angry instead, "It was you wasn't it?" she asked him

Jay grabbed the side of her arm that had another yellow hand imprint, "Did he _touch_ you!?"

Emma saw the fury flash into Jay's eyes and was taken back a bit. Wow...almost looked like he cared. She softened, and they locked eyes and he did too.

He understood she wouldn't understand why he did what he did to Rick, but he couldn't take it back, and by the looks of things..he was glad he did it. Had Rick hurt her or not? Why did she have his hand prints over her? On her **waist**. He should **not** be touching Emma there.

Emma's heart started to pound, getting lost in Jay's eyes. She was fed up of her body feeling like this and not understanding what it was when around Jay. She was angry deep down too that she _couldn't feel _angry right now at him when she should be, but she couldn't, not when he was looking at her this way and she cursed herself for feeling her knees go weak. His hand slowly brushed her cheek. He cringed, noticing her slightly trembling.._something_ must of happened.

Amy was walking around the halls corner to stop in her tracks. She raised her eyebrows stunned that Emma was **letting** Jay Hogart touch her so softly..she was more stunned that Jay could **be gentle. **Amy smirked as she headed over when Jay put his hands off Emma and went to put them on her waist but stopped and jumped when they heard a voice, "Oh Hogart.."

Emma jumped back as well, putting her hair behind her ears nervously then crossed her arms to hide the yellow spots on her when Amy walked up. Emma couldn't help but glance between her and Jay when the two locked eyes and Emma felt her stomach turn.

He...he wasn't still fooling around with her right? I mean she understood Alex, but if there was _anything_ real between them, he would of stopped with Amy

Emma watched with hurt in her eyes when Amy put her hands up on Jay's shoulders.

Jay was so shocked he couldn't tear them off but gave Amy a dirty 'what the fuck are you doing?' look.

"Want another go in the car? I got a free period and we didn't get to finish earlier.." she winked.

Jay's mouth fell and his eyes darted at Emma who was already look at him like he **betrayed **her. And he felt as though he did..but they weren't dating, **yet, **his insides wear ripping apart as she glared at him like he was the lowest piece of shit on earth and she then turned to walk away.

"Em.." he pushed Amy off him, chasing Emma, "Emma!" she was so damn fast though, storming down the hallway and he tried to keep up, at her side, "Amy's a fuckin.. idiot." he insists and watched Emma not even look at him, "We didn't-" he stopped, noticing his tongue choking him up and he couldn't even **lie**.

Fuck. He couldn't lie. Jay Hogart couldn't get himself out of this one. He didn't _want _to lie to her, but how does he explain this? Emma had him tongue tied.

He was stunned when she stopped, but happy she did until he could barely look at her now as her anger stirred in her eyes at him, and he felt like a nobody. He was taller, yet she was putting him down like a bad dog by just a simple look.

She didn't understand that he did it to know, to see if what he was feeling for Emma was real..and it was and he shoved Amy off right in the middle of it.. didn't Emma know **how hard** that was for a guy? He wasn't even **dating** the girl and while with another (Alex) all he was thinking about the whole time was Emma, _Greenpeace._

"we're** done**."

Jay's mouth fell. Only two words, but from _her,_ had him feel completely destroyed. He had to watch her walk away, and he couldn't stop her.

Emma turned the corner, tears burning her eyes.

**I need Reviews on what should happen for the shooting! Should Sean still be the one to save Emma? Should Jay still blame Jimmy for everything? Should Jay save Emma, or should Rick go after him? What! I need to know! REVIEWS**


	20. I Wanna Save That Light

Jay walked into the guys bathroom alone. Looked like the place was clear so he leaned on the sinks counter and stared down at the sink.

He glared at it, like it had done something horribly wrong to him and then he glanced up at the mirror at himself and his fist raised.

_**SMASH!**_

Jay painfully gripped his hand, the mirror infront of him smashed in the place he hit it. He turned, cursing loudly and kicked a trash can in front of him, "_FUCK!"_

It echoed by the empty stalls and Jay pierced his lips together, shutting his eyes for a moment until he took a big deep breath and turned the sink on.

He watched the blood from the deep cuts on his knuckle begin to rush into the water and he hissed a abit, clenching the wound then grabbed some paper towels from the side. He turned his back on the counter to now lean on it, waiting for the paper towels to stop the blood from his hand.

Something then caught his eye by the first stall, the door was shut...and two feet with what looked like paint splatter was on their shoes.

Rick. **Who else?**

His eyes slowly and carefully scanned at the door. Why was he hiding? Or did he know it was Jay.

"JAY!"

He almost jumped, and put the paper towel off his hand. Thankfully, it stopped bleeding but left two nasty gashes on his hand.

Spinner came into the bathroom and had finally found Jay. He grinned that sly smile and hit Jay's shoulder, "how _hilarious_ was that prank, dude?"

Jay glared madly, grabbed Spinners shoulders and turned him toward the stall Rick was in. Spinners eyes then widened and he shut him mouth to turn back and mouth to Jay, 'shit'.

"yea.." drifts Jay, glancing from Spin to the stall, "couldn't of done it without Jimmy, a man on the inside."

In the stall, Rick shook with anger.

"Riight." said Spinner sing song like, slowly understanding what Jay was trying to do. Take the heat off them. Jimmy deserved it anyways, the moron shoved Spinner just a bit ago and stood up for the little Freak who hurt Terri. Spinner thought Jimmy was an idiot, he never really knew Terri anyways like Spinner did, he didn't understand.

Jay nodded to Spinner and towards the door, Spinner nodded and followed him out.

Rick, inside, clenched the _gun _in his hands.

_**(My Chemical Romance-Teenagers)  
The boys and girls in the clique  
The awful names that they stick  
You're never gonna fit in much, kid  
But if you're troubled and hurt  
What you got under your shirt  
Will make them pay for the things that they did**_

They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me  
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed

Emma shut her locker, hearing a loud bang as she did so and even jumped herself. She'd been so out of it that it startled her maybe more than it should but then again, what the hell was that?

She glanced behind her, seeing Sean and Toby at their lockers right across from her and even Sean caught her eye before a ton of people came running through the hall.

Emma watched them run the other direction, and she didn't know why but her feet pulled her towards the way they ran from. Probably wasn't the best decision but how many mistakes had she made this year? Like number one, thinking she could ever be _something _with Jay Hogart.

She knew Toby and Sean also followed her, out of curiosity, and she stopped around the hall when she saw Rick passing. He turned, and thats when they all saw it. The gun in his hands. He looked over, and caught them staring too.

"Hello Emma." he greeted.

Emma's eyes widened, and Toby's mouth hung. Rick was coming for them.

"Just walk." Sean told Emma, fear and terror in his eyes, grabbing her arm and she numbly nodded, going to turn with him and Toby backed up too shakingly.

"DON'T TURN AWAY FROM ME!" came Rick's shouting. They turned back, Sean shutting his eyes in the process.

This wasn't happening, please be a nightmare.

Rick raised his gun right at them and Emma choked on a cry but wouldn't let her tears pour. It's all Rick wanted... revenge. She got it was hard, but he wasn't the only person who was bullied in this school and above all, there were people here who were bullied for **no reason **. . take Toby for example. Emma **wouldn't** cry nor let Rick see tears. . its just what he wanted. She couldn't help but tremble though.

Toby even jumped and glanced to Emma fearfully. Why was Rick doing this? Was he going to hurt them...has he already hurt someone else?

"I thought you liked me." Rick told Emma..

Sean fearfully looked at her, and stood closer to her side. Rick wanted Emma. What for? He thought they were friends now. .Rick had NO right to do this, to anybody.

"But that was something else."

Emma numbly looked at that gun pointed at her head. This was her fault, this was it. The end.

Her breath stopped when Sean stepped infront of her. If she could move or speak, she'd yell at him. What was he thinking?!

Rick's hand shook but kept his aim up, as Sean itched closer, "Just put the gun down." Sean breathed, his voice even shaky.

Rick had no problem with Sean, sure his friends were making his life unbearable but Sean had actually done nothing to him but he didn't say anything either.

"It's not too late, we can fix this." Sean promised.

Rick had his eyes glued to Emma, but spoke to Sean, "No. It's too late," he tightened his hand to finally shoot, "I've already shot someone."

"NO!" Toby yelled.

_**BANGG! BAM! **_

Sean struggled with Rick, hearing the shot and his eyes widened in horror.

_**BAnnng!**_

Three shots fired. Sean felt frozen, and Rick stopped struggling as he fell. Three shots. One, inside Rick's stomach.. blood all over the ground.

The second bullet? Sean looked down, seeing red pouring down his arm. . wow. He was shot. Was he in too much of shock to feel it?

Third shot. Where was the third bullet? Sean clenched his arm to hold the pressure, he wasn't bleeding to deep and had enough energy to whirl around to Emma and Toby.

Toby was fine, but Emma, a body shielded Emma right now and she was staring in horror down at the figure infront of her. Jay. He stared down at the same spot she was, seeing blood on the left side of his stomach, the spot was getting bigger and bigger.

"Well that," Jay slowly spoke, looking back into Emma's fearful eyes painfully, the blue in his grey eyes fading, "Fuckin hurts." he joked and even grinned but then stopped, whitening like a ghost and fell to his knees.

Emma's world went black.

"JAY!" Sean shouted, wide eyed and didn't even know where the hell he came from.

Emma was already leaning over him as he laid on his back on the ground, she trying to lift his head but she wasn't strong enough and still shaking and the tears finally began to pour. Sean was stronger even with a bullet in his arm and he sat Jay up, "your alright, your alright." Sean panted to his best friend, looking down and wondering where Jay was shot and tears even stung his eyes.

Emma looked around bewilderedly, and caught Toby just standing there, frozen, "Go get help!" she yelled at and looked at him like he was the dumbest person she's ever seen as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Toby took off.

Jay could barely keep his eyes open, but winced and glanced to see Sean's arm shot too, "Geez," he joked and choked a bit on the pain inside him.

wow this **really **fuckin' hurt. .

"Wanna switch?" he asked Sean for their different bullet wounds, and obviously, his was more severe.

A swat team finally ran in, and they surrounded them but the three wouldn't get up but I guess Jay couldn't even if he tried.

"why the hell do you think this is a time to joke, man?" Sean asked, tears finally pouring but laughed bitterly. Of fucking course Jay would still have the energy to be an ass when his life on the line that could be his last words.

Jay finally locked his eyes on Emma, she was a bit blurry, but she looked back at him, her lower lip trembling. He didnt' know if it was the loss of blood or what but his next words stunned them both, "Couldn't let him shoot ya, Greenpeace."

Sean looked over to Emma, seeing her just as in shock and staring at Jay with this look in her eye that would begin to haunt Sean. What emotion was that? He'd never seen it in her eyes. He looked back at Jay, wondering why he couldn't 'let' that happen..he knew it was the human thing to do, but Jay wasn't always necessarily the best human being so why did he take that bullet for **Emma**? Sean's ex, Jay's enemy, **Emma?**

"Back away you two, he needs to go to the hospital, now." as they spoke, someone had to grab Emma and Jay was slowly going into the darkness.

"What, what's going on?" Emma asked, seeing Jay put onto a stretcher and his eyes shut now, paler than before and she dove at the stretcher for a paramedics to hold her back.

"He needs the hospital!"

"Don't touch me!" she hissed, struggling from the doctor who was forcing her away from Jay who was being rolled away.

Beside them, a few other swat members were putting Rick into a body bag. Emma kept struggling until Sean had to hold her and embraced her.

She had to watch Jay's stretcher being turned around the corner, away from her and she wasn't allowed to go after him.

Sean stayed holding her tight, her numb body just standing there limp and he shut his eyes. Hers still numbly looked where Jay disappeared. He had just been shot, **for her.**

_**(demons-imagine dragons)  
Don't wanna let you down but I am hell bound  
Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth**_

No matter what we breed  
We still are made of greed  
This is my kingdom come  
This is my kingdom come

_**Your eyes, they shine so bright  
I wanna save that light  
I can't escape this now  
Unless you show me how**_

When you feel my heat, Look into my eyes  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
Don't get too close  
It's dark inside  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide


	21. He's Gonna Be Okay

Emma sat in the hospital waiting room, quite paralyzed like. Her parents had even made her get checked, but she just needed to be **here.** They sat next to her, not quite sure why she wanted to be here so bad and not home, but they had heard two students from Degrassi had been shot.

Sean was across from them, still staring at Emma with an unreadable look. He had a bandage around his arm and Ellie sat to his right. It's like she completely ignored the fact they were broken up, and he was staring at Emma right now, cause her hand was caressing his arm to show him she was there for him. No matter what, she loved him.

He blinked blanky, and looked down with pain in his eyes. What if Jay died?

A door bursted open and everyone looked up. Jay's uncle.. though nobody else but Emma knew who it was as he ran to the counter.

Not even Sean knew.

"Jay Hogart. Where is he?" he hissed at the nurse at the counter who even jumped.

Snake stood up, knowing Jay was in emergency and the nurse struggling to find Jay's file and where abouts as this intimidating man who smelled like alcohol glared down at her. Must be his father or something.

"NOW!"

"Mr Hogart." Snake quickly said and the man whipped around with un controlling madness.

Emma's eyes widened, fearfully looking between the two until she must of caught Jay's Uncles eye. He noticed her and then his eyes went weak, and his face even cringed and she swore she saw tears work up to his eyes.

"He's got no one." he looked to Snake helplessly, this big buff man looking so helpless was the quite the site. "Where is he? Where's the kid, huh?"

Snake nodded sympathetically and put his hand on the mans shoulder, "He's got us, and he's in emergency. There were some complications but the nurse just came in to say it was just about finished and he was looking good."

Jay's uncle seemed to be struggling, but looked _okay_ with that answer and numbly nodded.

Emma tilted her head. She wondered if Jay even knew his Uncle cared about him this much. He probably would of been shocked, knowing Jay well, he'd even crack some witty dumb homophobic remark. Emma smiled sadly and then frowned deeply, sucking in a deep shakey breath and looked over at the emergency room and back to the ground sadly. She felt torn. She looked up, to then catch Sean catching her little moment. She tried to look down again, swallowing the lump in her throat and trying not to look so obvious but she was a nervous wreck..

Jay **had** to be okay or she wouldn't be.

The door smacked open again, and it was the first time Emma had ever seen tears rolling down Alex Nunez cheeks and Amy stood with her, as if she was a good friend or something.

"Where is he?" Alex demanded and they stared at her, she glared at them with tears in her eyes and was a bit taken back to see Emma there. She then ignored it, she was probably here for her own health, but Jay was more important here, "Where is he!" she yelled.

Jay's uncle even looked at Alex in confusion and glanced at Emma. Emma kept her head down.

Sean sat up and Ellie spoke for him, "Alex, he's gonna be okay." the red head assured.

Sean couldn't help but glance at Ellie and soften, appreciating her right now.. but something about Emma and Jay right now was more on his mind.

Ellie stood up and went on, standing infront of Alex, "Hes coming out of emergency. That's a **good thing."**

**"A good thing**?"spat Alex, looking down at Ellie like she was going to slap her any moment, "My boyfriend was shot by Rick Murray and thats a good thing?"

Ellie was taken back and whispered, "I just meant that he's okay."

"You don't know that!"

"Stop it!" Sean yelled, standing up and going infront of Ellie to glare at Alex, "Just stop."

Snake stepped in, kinda glad now he came, "You guys," he backed Alex away who sniffed and glared at the ground and shrugged his hands off her.

She couldn't be touched right now, she wasn't an emotional person yet now her emotions were flying.

Snake paused, giving her look of sorrow and went on, "We're all scared, and upset. But we need to be strong, for Jimmy too."

Jimmy was on the second floor, in the other emergency room. He must of been the one Rick had meant when he said he had shot someone already.

The three nodded, Emma didn't have to, since still looking down and her mom began to carress her hair, wondering if she was okay. She was starting to scare her.

After a few moments of pacing, Alex finally calmed and looked around wearily with Amy behind her. Amy snuck a glance at Emma and was having trouble wondering what the hell happened. How did Jay get shot?

"What happened?" Alex whispered, staring down at Sean who was sitting back in his seat and looked up.

From behind, Sean caught Emma's eye and he swallowed hard. He didn't know why he didn't tell the full truth, but he didn't, "Rick just went for him," he spoke with his eyes on Emma til slowly looking at Alex, "maybe it was all that _bullying._"

Alex took that, because it stung her too, and she numbly sat down. This was all their fault, her fault, she did the big ending at the trivia game...it should of been her, not Jay. B-but Jay was strong, he'd live through this.

Alex felt eyes on her, and looked up, locking eyes with Emma, "And why are _you_ here?"

Sean even growled at Alex next to him, his eyes glaring at the floor though, "You weren't there, you don't **get it**. Just, shut.. the **fuck** up."

Alex's mouth hung, shooting him a look but looked rather stunned he just talked to her like that. Even Ellie and Emma's parents looked like they completely agreed with him and looked away from her when she glanced at them and then down.

Amy chewed the side of her cheek. Wow. Awkward.

They fell into silence.

After about a half hour, Spinner bursted into the room from the elevator and was panting, "Jimmy's okay, he's okay."

Silence

Sean, even Emma and Ellie, they didn't mean to look so cruel but they gave Spinner a bitter kind of look. It was great the team upstairs could finally breath to the news of Jimmy pulling through, but **they** were still struggling. They had heard nothing about Jay yet.

Spinner then frowned deeply, and looked around wide eyed. Jay..no, was he... "Jay-" he almost choked.

"Oh honey, he's okay." Spike spoke up, seeing the horror go to Spinners eyes and the silence made him think Jay was dead or something.

Snake stood up and patted Spinners shoulder ,"Great to hear about Jimmy. I'm sure Jay will pull through too."

Spinner nodded sensibly.

Just then, the doctor with a nurse by his side came in and Jay's uncle stood up with Alex running to his side," Is he okay?"

Emma bit her lip, quite hard, and gripped the sides of the chair she sat in. She couldn't get up, that would look wierd...she couldn't run to him, to see if he was okay. He wasn't **hers.**

"He's okay. Sleeping now." the nurse explained "He's in room 211."

"Can we go see him?" Alex pleaded.

Jay's uncle looked up at the cieling like he was thanking god and crossed his arms, "I wanna see him." he ordered.

The doctor spoke now, "He took a bullet to the side of his ribs. Must of been slightly turned when he was shot..maybe he was trying to get away"

Emma caught Sean's hard look on her. Jay **was** turned, but not from running away, he was shielding Emma..from **that bullet.**

Why? It was eating up at Sean.

The doc went on, "He'll be okay. Luckily, it didn't hit too deep. Other than the boy upstairs, he's gonna be able to heal fully, it'll just take time. He'll recover though, its a miricle."

They breathed out happily, and the nurse nodded, "follow me." she then stopped when Alex followed Jay's uncle, "Only one." she insisted

Jay's uncle kept walking and Alex stood there frozen and nervously began to pace, waiting for her turn.

Spike and Snake turned to Emma, "lets go home honey." Spike whispered pleadingly with her daughter.

Snake nodded and got up, "Jimmy and Jay are both gonna be okay. We can go now. We need to worry about **you** now."

Emma looked at them like they were crazy and against her. Didn't they get it? This wasn't about Jimmy, or her, or even Rick. She was here for **Jay.**

She got up though, rather upset and pushed through her parents, running to the elevator. At least he was okay, but it wasn't fair she couldn't see him.

It wasn't fair he did what he did.

Why did he do it?


	22. Two Weeks Later

Degrassi was closed for a week, nobody was ready to go back to school anyways and when they did, reporters were everywhere, shoving their microphones and cameras into students faces who were still suffering.

By the second week, Emma was hearing rumors that Jay was out of the hospital already but not Jimmy.

"Em." she heard.

Emma was still out of it, staring inside her locker though not moving til a hand went on her arm and she jumped. She looked beside her at Manny.

Manny looked at her so sadly, "You okay?" she asked

Emma blinked and coughed, "yea," she nodded. I mean, why shouldn't she be okay? She lived right? All was okay but Rick. . he had the tough end of the stick. Gone forever.

"Lets skip today." Manny insisted.

Emma smiled sadly and shook her head, "I'm gonna go to class. See you in third though." she turned, and walked off with eyes that looked emotionless.

Manny's shoulders fell, watching Emma go.

Sean stood at his locker, watching the scene and went after Emma.

"Emma"

She heard him and turned, standing right before class which he was also in. Great. Then again... Emma eyed Sean and asked, "How are you?"

He was stunned **she** was asking **him,** she looked worse.

"I'm okay." he nodded and nervously asked, "are you?"

Emma laughed a little, but barely, and her eyes didn't look happy the way it usually did when she laughed.

"Yea." was all she said, nodding, then went straight to the question she really wanted to ask Sean, "How's Jay?" she tried to act just curious, but the dying need to know was stiring inside her stomach so bad it was starting to hurt.

She barely slept. . and it wasn't only because of nightmares of Rick.

Sean eyed her til he cleared his throat, "He's good. Pretty good actually," he admitted, looking up in awe as he remembered the other day when he visited him, "Walking around and all now with no problem. No more bed rest. Alex is by his side 24/ 7-" he paused, and he **saw it**.

Emma flinched.

Emma jumped when the bell rang and muttered, "Good. Great. See yeah." she went into the class in a hurry, and it was **both** their classes

Sean suspiciously eyed her til he followed her in and sat in the back.

She sat up front, not one ounce of her attention on the lesson being taught today. _'Hes okay' 'Alex was by his side 24 / 7 '._ . this ran through Emma's head over and over. That was good, she was more than happy that Jay was okay but was she an awful person to let the fact that it was Alex helping him, bug her? Was that selfish?

'_you gotta get over him, you said yourself it was over,' _she thought to herself, '_I just wish I could see him. but I can't... he's clearly got Alex and he hasn't once contacted me so maybe it was Alex he needed right now. God I'm stupid, alex is his __**girlfriend **__, that's who he __**wanted **__all along. Maybe he and her were __**really**__ over... maybe after he got shot, he realised Alex was the girl for him. _' Emma stared down, bitting her trembling lip.


	23. Denial

It was the third week now, the weekend actually, and Emma did what she did best, stayed at home.

She curled into a ball, staring at her wall as she laid on her bed and it was only 6pm

Her door opened, and she heard footsteps coming down to her room but she didn't turn. She finally heard Manny's voice, "Ohh Emmmmm." she said sing song like.

Emma stayed still.

Manny jumped on the bed beside her, "Lookie what I brought." she laid cookies infront of Emma.

Emma looked away from them almost disgusted. She wasn't hungry. Barely had an appetite anymore.

"Manny, didn't Snake tell you? I'm sick." she said, mono tone like and melted more into her pillow.

"You don't **look** sick." Manny taunted and Emma then groaned when Manny pulled her arms to sit her up.

What was WITH everyone? Her parents bugged her every day to go see Sauve to talk, meanwhile, she was already seeing a real therapist after school. What more did they want? Emma was even also giving Sean what he wanted, and speaking to him, no arguments what so ever.. '_friends' _even. So why couldn't everyone just leave her alone? She wanted to be _alone._

"You're coming out with me."

Emma looked at Manny with a small snort of laughter. Manny looked so sure about that. Emma was pretty sure she was staying in these baggy black sweat pants and tank top.

"Get up!" ordered Manny.

Emma groaned and laid back into her bed, "Manny, please."

Manny stood up and sadly looked at Emma, "Em.." her voice went to a whisper, "I'm so worried about you." her voice suddenly cracked.

Emma felt it, a horrible feeling inside her, feeling awful to make Manny feel this way. She didn't want to worry anyone, she just couldn't help the fact she couldn't get over everything that had happened nor the fact her and Jay haven't even spoken nor seen another. Was he not even coming back to school?

Emma took a deep breath. Why waste her life away? Why not spite Rick, and go live the life he tried to rip away from her?

"Fine." she mumbled and got up.

Manny clapped happily and dove into Emma's closet for her, "I'll help you pick an outfit."

Emma sighed deeply. . she was agreeing, and now she was also being forced in letting Manny chose her clothes?

She came out wearing a black mini tight skirt and a sleeve white tp that hugged her hips nicely and left a little skin between under her belly botton and above her skirt. Her bangs were growing only slightly from across her bangs, so curled to the right and the rest of her hair was slightly wavy and getting long.

"Perfect." smiled Manny, grabbing her hand

Guess the party was at Darcys, Manny's friends. They opened the door and couldn't believe how many people crashed the party, some people didn't even look like they went to Degrassi.

Darcy saw them and ran right over, "you guys!" she yelled, looking frantic and holding her mothers favorite vase, "PLEASE help me save anything that is glass."

The two giggled, even Emma had to a little. Guess a small party turned into a huge rager. Some people didn't even know this was Darcy Edwards house.

They watched Darcy go upstairs, probably to hide the expensive stuff and Emma followed Manny through the crowd. Music was so loud it vibrated the floors. It was a bit unbelievable to Emma that only three weeks prior to a school shooting, these teenagers could party so hard. Then again, maybe she just took it more to heart since you know, being pointed at personally with that gun.

"drink?" Manny asked her when they made it to the kitchen.

Emma nodded and the two squished toward a small keg. Usually Emma wouldn't drink, but she felt like hey, why not? Do it before another chance of getting killed might occur again before you get the chance to ever drink with your best friend again

When they got to the keg, two figures were talking and turning from it with party cups in their hands and then stopped when they almost bumped into them. Sean and **Jay**. They both stared at Emma, Sean with more of a friendlier look that Jay's.. he looked, unexplainable. Emma stared only back up at Jay too, her mouth hanging a bit but couldn't find her voice or heart beat..

he was **here?**

A bit to the left, was Amy and Alex laughing about something and not noticing the scene. They must of came with the guys.. wow, only weeks after a massive shooting and they could still be in a mood to party? Charming.

Then again..guess she was here too.

Emma couldn't breath. _He was here. _She couldn't take it in very well.

He looked...Jay ish. Same ol' eyes, face, and nervous habit when he itched the back of his neck and avoided her eyes. He was okay though, just like Sean had said the other week.

"Not even a bullet can take the party out of the Jay Hogart." joked Manny, trying to lighten the mood and making a joke as she sensed the tension

Emma ripped her eyes off Jay as he sipped his beer and swallowed it, nodding as he kept his eyes to the far left and then walked away from them. Emma snuck a glance as he walked slowly past her and over to Alex with his hand still on his neck til sliding around Alex's waist who smirked up at him and offered him a shot he took a moment to take.

Emma's heart fell and she regretted even coming tonight.

She stepped closer to Manny, "Can we _**please**_go?" she begged, her heart pounding and feeling a big lump in her throat.

She didn't want to be the girl who had a breakdown in a middle of Degrassi first party since the shooting. If** Jay** could be here and be fine, so could she. She could act like he didn't exist either, couldn't she?

"Emma." she jumped, turning to Sean, "Can we talk?" he looked hopefully at her.

Emma looked over his shoulder to Manny. Manny eyed the scene and didn't know what to think either so shrugged at Emma uneasily. Emma nodded slowly, "Sure." she replied.

He nodded sincerely back at her and even softly took her hand, leading her to the back yard.

Manny suspiciously eyed the back door closing behind Emma and Sean, then let her eyes wonder the party for her to catch Jay also looking at the _back door_ just as _suspiciously_ but with another unreadable look in his face. She crossed her arms, giving Jay a stare down. What went on in that guys head? She'd pay to know.

Outside, Emma and Sean both sat on the back porch, alone now.

Emma's throat was burning, trying to stop the tears but they began to come down as Sean began to speak, oblivious to Emma's crying.

"I can't stop thinking about the shooting," his mouth opened and he seemed to struggle with his next sentense, "and us."

Emma's teary eyes darted over at him and he looked back, softening when he saw her crying

"Em," he sighed helpless and itched closer to her, "I-I keep having nightmares he got you. I-I get so fuckin scared thinking about losing you, **for real this time**."

Emma's mouth hung a bit. What was Sean saying here? Can't he see she was under the biggest stress of her life right now? And what about what **he** put her through in the past? They had just been at gun point for christ sakes...and she was also having a hard time at the moment seeing the only guy she's ever _more than kissed,_ hanging out with his girlfriend. She didn't know growing up was gonna be this hard..

Sean went on, glaring at his hands as he tried to explain, "I even keep having these weird jealous vibes with Jay cause he saved you and not me. How twisted is that?" he laughed a little bitterly.

Emma whipped her tears and snuffled a little. Yea, twisted...

"I even thought there was something between you two but that's _crazy."_ Sean said with a smirk, cornering his eyes at Emma but she didn't move. He took it as a sign that he **must** of been delusional, which is what he hoped.

"What are you trying to say here, Sean?" Emma asked, wanting this over with.

Coming out tonight was _such_ a mistake.

They both jumped, hearing a bang inside the house but it was just a beer crashing down on the floor and then there was laughter. Emma sadly looked at the door and what was inside of it...Jay having a good time with Alex. Why couldn't she be happy by now too?

She then softened, looking back at Sean. Maybe it was **supposed** to be this way. Maybe she wasn't looking at this right.. Sean was here, infront of her, telling her everything she wished he did over a year ago. Jay was inside, with Alex. This is how it was always suppose to be wasn't it? Jay with her, Emma with Sean...

"I know we should be still mourning," drifts Sean, staring into her eyes now and she stared helplessly back, "But I can't help but feel happy we made it, and I get another chance," he nervously licked his lips, "_if_ you _give me _ another chance that is."

Emma stared incredibly at him. He wanted her back.

Sean looked down by her silence, playing with his hands, "I can't get over you-"

"What about Ellie?" Emma was so confused, shaking her head at him.

His eyes wondered and he shrugged slowly, "I don't know if we're meant to be," he looked back at Emma slowly.

Emma wanted to laugh, but it would of been inappropriate but right there she understood exactly what Sean was saying even if he didn't explain it. She still knew him _pretty well_. What he was really saying was he was torn between Emma and Ellie, and couldn't chose, but Emma seemed the right choice cause they had just gone through _this _plus they had history so it had to be meant to be right? Emma couldn't answer that either..just as confused, but **just as **needy for somebody to hold her.

Maybe she also knew what it felt like to not know what she was meant for or who she was meant with. She glanced sadly back inside until she cupped Sean's face and he looked surprised until she pressed her lips to his. She tensed too, but melted into his arms when he brought her closer, the old comfort feeling rushing through them and he kissed her harder. He groaned a bit, feeling how much of a better kisser she was or maybe forgotten how good she use to be. His tounge danced against hers (Which they've never done before) and he wondered how she got so good at it but then again, it's been a while, they were older, and too much time has been wasted to wonder about what guys or girls the other had been with.

They pulled away breathless, eyes still closed and he whispered, "God I missed you."

Emma nodded, her nose against his and he softly leaned in and kissed her again and sighed in relief that she was going to be his again. With Emma, it'd start to feel right, he'd gain back his emotions and control again soon...right?

And Emma felt _sure_ that maybe she was suppose to end up back with Sean. I mean, it wasn't going to be some fairy tale with Jay right? That was over, done. .. nothing serious.

_"_You okay, Em?" Sean asked, looking at her worriedly now. She had this emptiness in her eyes now and then that he just hated seeing, he was sure it had to do with Rick. She finally smiled though, a real genuine smile that made him feel better and she nodded.

"I am now." she insisted.

Oh denial, what it could make people do and say.


	24. Lucky

A fews had passed, and Emma learned that Jay didn't come back cause Spinner and him were expelled from Degrassi. Spinner must of admitted the prank pulled on Rick was him and Jay but for some reason, though Emma **knew it**, neither of then ratted Alex, which just made her sick to her stomach. Alex was just as much to blame.

Jimmy was back in a wheel chair, and might forever be in one. It had to be tough, but he was looking really good again.

Emma was putting all her focus into Sean, and even all of Degrassi seemed to be happy and not too shocked they were back together.

Emma sat with him across from her at the Dot for lunch.

"Ah, only you," he teased, admiringly watch her scribble down notes in her binder, "can study on our date."

Emma smirked at him, rolling her eyes, "This is a school break together, _not a date."_ leave it for Sean to kill the romance

Sean chuckled and teasingly took one of her fries that laid between them, even though he had his own burger. Things were going great, there was just one thing that seemed off between them-

The door dinged and Emma didn't look but saw Sean glance back twice.

She looked over her shoulder and saw Ellie standing there, staring at the two til they **both** saw her staring and she looked away. She closed the door and walked up to the counter quickly, completely ignoring them.

Emma cornered her eyes to Sean, watching him swallow hard and look down at his burger but not eat it. He didn't move at all

She tried to get his mind of things, "Are you ready for summer?"

He looked up to her, and he chuckled while raising his eyebrows, "Are you?" he challanged, leaning forward and took one of her hands.

Emma couldn't help but notice him sneak a glance over her quickly and try to focus again. He was watching Ellie, wasn't he?

"I was thinking of going back to Wasaga for a few weeks." he says, "Wanna come?"

Emma stared, mouth hanging open, "Sean," she whispered ,"That's...that's big for you." he always held so much anger against his parents, but now he wanted to go see them? He always said they abandoned him but she always knew there had to be more of a story

"I know." he sighed, eyes widening and taking this in also.

"Course i'll go with you." Emma said, tightening her hand into his and their fingers tangled.

The door opened, and in came Jay Hogart. He looked around for Sean and saw him with _her. _He stopped, looking around before back at the table with the _lovebirds_ hand in hand even at the eating table where you are suppose to **eat**, not be all over another and ruin the appetites of everyone else around.

He walked over while rolling his eyes and stopped at the table to taunt impatiently, "You ready?" he barked to Sean.

Emma almost jumped and glanced up to Jay looking only down to Sean. She hadn't seen him since Darcy's party awhile ago, but she knew Sean still hung around him, she just never wanted to be around to see him.

She then angered, not wanting Jay to get his way and looked to Sean, "You're skipping next class?" he shouldn't, their exams were in two days and all the reviews were today.

Sean looked guilty, knowing Emma's ways wouldn't agree with that, but he just wanted to go have fun. He needed it.

"You're complaining? Shocking." taunted Jay in sheer sarcasm at Emma, locking eyes with her.

It made her blood boil, glaring back at him and over to Sean, "Well when are we going to Wasaga?" she asked.

"I don't know." Sean shifted awkwardly, why'd she want to know this instant? "Definitely this summer though, in the next few weeks."

She nodded, but let his hand go. Jay scoffed and turned, "Come over when you get your leash back." with that, he was gone.

Emma glared his way and turned to Sean. Sean smiled sadly at her, "You two aren't ever gonna get along, huh?" he got up, putting money on the table and kissed her forehead, "for some reason I thought maybe you two would call truce after the whole Rick thing."

Emma stared off and just shrugged and he frowned, thinking she was upset he was 'ditching' her for Jay.

"I'll come by later tonight," he promised with a slight smirk, "Keep your window open." with that, he left.

Yea.. Sean snuck in time to time since they got back together a month ago. Emma thought he was gonna have a heart attack the first time he did it. He was to use to the old Emma habits, that the new sexy Emma habits left him breathless and wanting more.

. When she was 13, she would of kicked him out for climbing through her window at such a time past curfew, now though, Emma helped him sneak in quietly as her parents slept and they got pretty hot and heavy.

Sean even got shirtless action from Emma the other day too. She wasn't the little innocent girl he use to know anymore, but still perfect at least, just more..understanding to his needs. He was glad she was letting him be the one to let show her things.. **little did he know.**

He even almost got her to even start unbuttoning his jeans the other night until Manny had walked in. That was a mess. But _damn_, Emma was really giving him her all and he was starting to wonder if soon, she really would...like the whole thing. He was ready if she was, I mean, he had done it with Ellie but it'd mean even more if **Emma Nelson** gave **him **her innocence.. that would just be REALLY something, almost unbelievable.

Anyways, Sean had caught up with Jay, and the two went to the ravine.

"Wouldn't Cause girl be a little upset over this, lover boy?" Amy taunted, standing by the keg that sat on the bench Jay was sitting on. "You, me, the ravine." she smirked at him.

Sean glared at Amy and rolled his eyes, "In your dreams Amy." he and her were history, only lasted like a week or two anyways and was only rebound action after him and Emma first broke up.

She seemed a bit insulted and glared, "You wanted it once." she taunted out loud.

Jay rolled his eyes, taking his cigarette pack out of his pocket and grabbed a smoke out of it. As he lit a smoke up, he then eyed Sean and watched Amy walk away.

"you wouldn't?" muttered Jay, inhaling sharply and avoiding Sean's look as until he darkly glanced back at him, daring Sean to admit if he'd cheat on Emma or not.

Sean snorted a bit, shaking his head no, "You know I don't roll like that," he gave a taunting look to Jay, "Not like you, Hogart." he smirked.

Jay just snickered bitterly, exhaling smoke through his lips slowly and watching people partying around the ravine..

"Nope, I finally got Emma back and I'm not wrecking that again." Sean promised out loud and dug his hands into his pockets as Jay caught a ..what? Was that a _blush_ on Sean? "She uh.." Sean smirked to then glare madly at Jay and pointed warning like at him, "You don't tell a **soul **this.**."**

Jay shrugged innocently while eyeing Sean suspiciously up and down.

Sean rolled his eyes, knowing Jay wasn't as innocent as he tried to look right now but shrugged. Jay probably didn't even care so why not? Whose he gonna tell.

"She's _different_, in a good way." Sean informs and explains more when Jay squinted his eyes at him, "Before when we dated, Emma would get tense even when I just tried to put a_ hand_ up her shirt, and she **hated** PDA unless it was a kiss on the cheek."

He watched Jay not even chuckle. . maybe he just didn't understand how Emma use to be. Sean could go on and on about her 'virtue'.. but right now he was getting to the point

"But now," Sean went on, grinning like an idiot, "she's quite the tease." he admitted and grabbed his beer from on the bench.

Jay sat up and stood up, walking around Sean, "Say what?" he asked again, shaking his head.

"Yea." Sean said, "me and her fool around **a lot more** then we use to." he itched the back of his head, grinning happily still.

"Get to the point." Jay growled, looking around at anything but Sean. He spotted Amy walking to a hookup van, her eyes locked on his with a seductive look on her face and she went in alone.

Sean confirmed, "I think we're ready. I think _she's_ ready. Ever since getting back together, we hopped right back on track."

. Sean took a deep breath and nodded as Jay stared right at him bluntly. Jay snapped out of it and with the cigerette in his hands, he inhaled it deeply and it escaped from his mouth as he bittered, "**Good luck** with _that_."

Sean gave Jay a wierd look, til noticing him walking away and towards a van. Sean noticed Amy inside when Jay opened the door to go in and she was taking her top off. Sean scoffed, but wasn't shocked Jay was still cheating on Alex. He may of thought though maybe after being shot Jay would of wanted to clean his life up a bit more, but guess not. And if he didn't want Alex, who had kinda helped him recover, why not find a girl he could really fall for?

Sean sighed though. Guess Jay would just always be Jay. Nobody was always as lucky as Sean and Emma were, he figured.

"Hey Sean." he heard and turned to Spinner

Spinner gave a small look of guilt as he smiled, but Sean shrugged it off. He knew Spinner made a mistake with the shooting, but he didn't hold it against them..everything was okay in the end for him...except for maybe missing Ellie now and then but she was better off without him. She was too fragile to be with a mess like him.

"Sup Spinner?" he asked.

"Lookin for Jay." Spinner shrugged and admitted, "Mrs H said after this summer, I can come back to Degrassi. Which means I can't graduate next year with everyone else but whatever."

Sean shrugged, "Me too." he joked, since pushed back a grade since grade 6. He then replied, "Jay's uh.." he glanced to the van.

Spinner took the hint, "Ahh. . I get it." he smirked with Sean and they cracked open new beers. "I was just gonna see if he wanted to return too. Mrs H gave me a shot so I'm sure she would for him since he was **actually** shot."

Sean cringed by the memory but nodded. Yea. Jay for sure paid his 'due' for that.

"Who knows if he'll come back." sighed Sean, wishing Jay would turn his life around soon. They were best friends, he could be a real good guy when he wanted to. But lately, he was turning into the Jay he was when he had first met him. Sean thought it was maybe guilt issues over the shooting or .. something.

It was definitely more 'something'.

"What are you doing this summer?"

"After the exams?" Sean smirked, "Going away with Emma to Wasaga."

Spinner looked impressed, "Well, hope you love birds have fun." he joked. He was pretty shocked when he heard the two got back together. Honestly, maybe call him the only one, but he didn't think they were going to...Sean looked like he had really fallen for Ellie once upon a time and Emma looked happier without him after she finally got over him

But I guess love just found them again ? Or whatever.

"I'll be workin at the Dot all summer." Sighed Spinner, "Should be a blast." he said in sarcasm, "No friends anymore..but hopefully a future come next September."

"It'll work out." insists Sean.

Meanwhile, in the van...

Amy gagged, and raised her head and sucked back down on Jay's cock. Jay sat up and panted a bit, his vision clouding a bit and he gripped her hair, as she finished him off. He jerked a bit, and then let a big exhale escape from his lips as he calmed down and caught his breath.

Amy swallowed, and whiped her mouth, sitting up on his lap, "You wanna fuck tonight?"

"Not tonight." he said, not even looking back into her eyes and then watched her hands push up his shirt and he stopped them so roughly she even gasped and cringed a bit.

"Geez, sorry." she muttered, taking her hands away and eyed his stomach, "I just wanted to see it"

Jay gave her a bittered look. See **what?** The bullet scar? He sat up more to do up his jeans and she took the hint, getting off him

"What'd it feel like?"

Jay looked up and taunted, "Like getting shot."

Amy looked so amused, "That's _so crazy _he went after you."

Jay stopped moving, about to zip up his pants but paused before doing so and then muttered, "Ya."

Amy eyed him closely, "He did go after you right? I didn't really hear the story from Alex or anything."

"That's the story." he muttered, and grabbed his jacket to the right, putting it on as fast as he could to get the fuck out of here.

"So Emma and Sean just _found_ you? Lucky." she informs.

Jay froze and stared down at the ground after his coat was back on. He blinked and nodded, "Yup _lucky,"_ with that, he slammed the door open and the van even shook by how hard he did so.

He left Amy there, adjusting her shirt as he stormed off back to the guys. He clenched his jaw before nodding in greetment to Spin and Sean again. He grabbed a beer and cracked his 8th one tonight open, and chugged it down.


	25. Losing It

Sean was on top of Emma, shirtless, and her tank top being pushed up at this very moment.

Emma moaned into the kiss and pulled away, "Umm.." she looked off and asked, "How was hanging out with the guys?"

Sean chuckled, kissing her softly again and his hands ran her shirt up a little more slowly, "You're asking me this now?" he teased.

Emma bit her lip and tried to shut up. Sean kissed down her neck, and down her stomach to the part where her shirt lifted and was bare.

She sucked in a breath, and it was shakey.

She sat up, and put her hands on his shoulders. He seemed disappointed until she crashed her lips passionately to his and pulled him back over her. But as they kissed, Emma snuck her shirt back down and then pulled away to glance at the clock.

"It's passed midnight and a school night." she noted.

Sean sighed and glanced over but nodded. She was right. It was cool of her to even stay up for him when they had exams to be worrying about, mostly her.

"Can I sleepover?" he teased.

Emma nervously shifted but nodded, looking up into his eyes. She just didn't want to _do anything_, you know?

"If you're on your best behavior." she teased sexily, and it distracted him, just like she wanted it to. He moved beside her and pulled her into his arms.

Guess he was kinda of tired as well. Jay really wanted to get drunk tonight but he just wasn't feeling it.

"Em.." he drifted off, holding her back closer to his stomach.

Emma opened her eyes from going to sleep, "Ya?" she looked back at him, seeing him struggling with something.

"I love you." he finally spat out.

Wow. How romantic. Emma resisted rolling her eyes and turned back to him completely and politely asked, "Are you sure?"

He glared a bit, "What the hell kinda question is that?" he sat up

Emma sat up quickly, putting her hand on his arm, "Sean you mean a lot to me!" she insisted, "I'm just saying, you kinda had me and Ellie both on your mind just weeks ago. Are you sure you wanna _say it?_ Or wait til the times right with us?"

Sean angrily looked at her for bringing up Ellie and stood up. He also wondered what the hell this meant, was Emma saying she didn't love him then?

Emma sighed sadly and shut her eyes before she watched him turn his back on her.

"I'm sorry.." she whispered.

Oh god. He seemed pretty upset now. When he turned to look at her, she saw that doubt in his eyes as he looked at her.

'_No, don't look at me like that. I __**can't **__end up alone. ._' Emma thought as nervously looked down and tried to stop her shaking fingers when she got up to go stand infront of Sean.

"I'm sorry." she said softer, and ran her hands through his growing hair. She kissed him, and didn't feel anything back. She kissed him deep and let her hands to his jeans, unbuckling it slowly as her heart pounded.

Sean pulled away, staring at her with an open mouth, probably shocked. Or was he going to push her away? Emma looked fearfully at him

"Are you sure?" Sean asked her.

No.

Emma nodded slowly though, finishing up her job and unzipped his pants before she took a step back to the bed and sat on it again, glancing up at him so .. kitten like.

To be honest, she was just going to give him head or something to make him forget about this fight and possible break up...but now he seemed to wanna go straight to the homerun, have sex.

She stared down but shook off her nerves. Why _**shouldn't**__ it _be Sean? He was her boyfriend, didn't cheat, and didn't make her feel like she didn't exsist.

Sean was still staring wide eyed, kinda shocked Emma. Had he done it with Ellie? Shouldn't **he** be taking the lead?

She helped him out a bit, finally taking off her shirt and sat with her blue lacey bra on and her leopard pajama pants that Sean was slowly slipping off her as he bent down and crashed his lips to hers.

He laid over her now, in his boxers and her in bra and under wear. He was sucking so hard on her neck she was swore it'd leave bruises and even cringed a little.

"Sean?"

He looked up, panting and he was hard, she could feel it.

She stuttered a little, "A-are you ready?"

_Just do it, get it__** over**__ with._

He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked down at her body hungerily. He nodded back to her and asked hopefully, "Are you?"

She nodded, exhaling deeply and didn't know she had kept it in for so long.

"D-do you have..protection?"

Sean got up quickly, she would of laughed but she was still shaking a bit and looked down at herself, almost completely naked.

She had goosebumps, and was trying not to shake so hard that he'd notice and stop. It was time she needed to get over _youknowwho_

Sean had come back with a condom in his wallet. When he laid back over her, it only took him a few seconds to put it on and Emma peeked at his size. Kinda big, not too much though..oh god, was this gonna hurt either way?

_It hurt. And it was uncomfortable. Sean was a good size but losing your virginity would always be painful, no matter how slow she begged him to go but he took good care of her. _

After that night, Sean wanted to do it again and again in Wasaga when they went. It hurt another two times but finally was feeling a little better.

Though, she wished she was doing something more better this summer and not having sex with Sean down the hall from his parents she had JUST met in their trailer home

...not the most romantic spot. But whatever, it was done.

Emma had lost her prize possesion, and meanwhile, back in Toronto...Jay was losing his mind. Beer, drugs, sex..you name it.


	26. Born Ready, Polka Dot

**It's season 5 now so everyone knows!**

Summer was good, Emma got a good tan in Wasaga and Emma and Sean seemed to of been doing great. His mother loved her, his dad just seemed like he didn't care but was impressed Sean was still in school. That was something. Then Manny and Emma spent time together the rest of the summer as Sean was off doing other things.

Emma sat by a pool with Manny when her cell phone rang.

Emma picked it up from beside her long chair. She and Manny were out tanning by a pool party.

"Hello?"

_Sean: hey baby._

_Emma: Hey..what are you doing? _

_Sean: Honestly? Looking for another apartment._

_Emma: why do that? Yours is fine. _

_Sean: Not really.. I know you feel wierd when you come over. I know its wierd knowing I lived with another girl there and honestly, I don't like the reminder either._

_Emma: Sean you don't have to move out..._

Manny groaned, turning her head to Emma while in a pink bathing suit, and her hair was cut to her shoulders over this summer. Emma had looked pretty different too, bangs grown out and body blossomed even more into the young woman she was aging to be.

"Em, hang up! Tell him it's a girls day." she complained, not wanting boys to ruin this.

Sean had Emma to himself like ALL the time. Yeah she knew Emma finally gave her 'virtue' to him this summer but that didn't give him the right to hog the girl all summer for his horny ass needs. Manny had best friend needs to!

Sean: Does Manny know I can hear her? Anyways, it's a good idea.

Emma: Ok..well.. whatevers best

Sean: And cheaper. Jay's lookin for a place too.

Manny saw Emma dive off her long chair from tanning and worriedly asked, "Em?" but the blonde walked away, holding her cell closer to her ear.

Emma: **Sean.** I think you should keep your apartment. It's close to the school! And it's home-ish.

Sean: Home-ish? Reminds me of my ex and Tracker, my own brother, abandoning me.

Emma: Ok but Sean, really? Jay? You're asking for evictions as soon as you get a place with him

Sean: No way, I trust him. He needs out of that trailer with his Uncle. He says he's done with the 'dump'. . Plus he got a job this summer at Tonys auto shop and also working at his own Uncles shop. He's makin mad cash.

Emma: He is?...

Sean: Yea. Maybe I can look into getting a job with him too

Emma: Great. You'll be around him **twenty four seven..**

Sean: Oh Em, don't be so jealous..you'll have me to yourself when we wanna be alone, don't worry. Jay will be cool with it

Emma: Jay _really_ wants to move in with you?

Sean: Yea. We talked it over this morning. Don't worry about me Em, I can kinda see Jay changed a bit over the summer.

Emma: yea? *Snickers* How so?

Sean: Well him and Alex broke up. He's seeing some new girl, he wants out of the trailer park and he got a job..

Emma paused: ..he did?

Sean chuckles: Granted though, the new girlfriend is a stripper but I've met her, she's pretty cute.

Emma madly scowled and hung up on him. She stared at her phone in shock, "Oh god" she whispered out loud.

She just hung up on Sean.

Manny gave her a wierd look behind her, "did you just hang up on Sean?" she asked bluntly, but rather amused by that.

Emma twirled around and shared a look with her. She squeaked and yelped when her phone rang. Sean again.

Emma nervously answered: Sean?

Sean: did uh, did you just hang up on me? *laughs* was it cause I said another girl was pretty?

_Cute _Is actually what Sean had said about **Jay's** new_ girlfriend_. And as if Jay had changed.. he couldn't! He wasn't - Emma shook her head and replied back finally.

Emma: Maybe.

Sean: You know nobody comes close to you.

Emma pouted a bit even if Sean couldn't see it and she miserably looked at her feet in the sand. This girl _better not_ come close to her.

Sean: I'm gonna go looking for places tomorrow. Are you free this Friday?

Emma sighs: I gotta do some back to school shopping but then I can do something

Sean: alright, I'll grab you at dinner time. See yeah.

Emma: Bye.

They both hung up.

"Wow." Manny said as she walked back, "what got you so antsy?"

"Nothing." Emma snapped sitting down and put her sunglasses on, crossing her arms.

Manny gave her a devilish smile, seeing Emma still in a huff but decided to just ignore it, "Alrighty then." she teased and went back to tanning.

When Friday night came, Emma went to Sean's and he cooked them dinner. It was pretty sweet of him and all night he didn't even bug her for sex. They just watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch. The next day though, Sean was dragging Emma apartment shopping with him and Jay.

Emma was wearing a cute little white and blue polka blouse with a white skirt and flip flops. She had a pair of white dark sunglasses on her head and her hair was straightened, her layered ends framed around her face from her glasses on her head.

"Sean, I don't really wanna go." Emma complained, hand in his as they walked past trailers and towards Jays.

"I think its this one." muttered Sean, squinting his eyes that yes, Emma noticed, was Jay's trailer. Why did she have to remember so well?

She shrugged though, pretending she didn't know then got a guilty twist in her stomach. Sean could **never** find out about _that._

Sean stopped before he knocked and gave Emma a look, "We need **some brain** for when the real estate agents try to screw us over." he joked.

Emma had to admit though, that was true.. Him and Jay were horrible with math, well, at least the part with getting the energy to just do it.

Sean knocked on Jay's door, nothing. The trailer inside seemed to have tv on or something though, but Emma shrugged again

"He's not home!" Emma happily said, going around Sean and tugging his hand, "Lets go."

Sean laughed, grabbing her back, "we can go in." he raised an eyebrow at her. He just walked in whenever he liked, Jay was his best friend. Jay did the same at his apartment.

Emma scowled but followed after him when they went inside the trailer, closing the door behind. Music was blasting Nine Inch Nails. Nobody was in site, not even his uncle.

Emma took notice, this time, there was even no beer all over the place. She was almost impressed until Sean turned down the music.

"Ohhhh my god!" they heard a girls voice.

Emma looked confused, glancing at the door it came from. Jay's bedroom. Sean smirked, already knowing what was going on.

"Oh god_ don't_ stop! Oh fuck _Jaaaay_"

Emma looked absolutely disgusted and glared at the door before grabbing Sean's hand, "Lets go." she snapped at him.

Sean laughed though, thinking Emma was just being her old prude-y self. _They_ had sex, their friends had sex, no big deal.

"HEY JAY!" he pounded the door.

Emma's eyes widened and couldn't believe he just did that. She walked away from the door and turned her back from it, crossing her arms.

There was sounds of movement, and then footsteps coming to the door. Jay opened it, in boxers and looking right at Sean, "Cameron." he smirked.

Sean chuckled and then his eyes widened, he turned as well, "Uh, Jay.." he nodded over his shoulder.

Jay looked over to his girlfriend Mel sitting on his bed, completely naked but a sheet around her. Jay shrugged, "It's fine." he said carelessly

"Me and Em are you ready if you are." taunts Sean, "We said 10 right? To look for places?"

Jay seemed out of it, his eyes trailing passed Sean and noticed _her_. She was slightly turned, ignoring them and she looked _different_. **Good** different.

Jay then looked back at Sean but taunted loudly enough for Emma to hear, "Can you give me 5 minutes?" he asked smugly.

He caught the glare Emma gave over her shoulder and she rolled her eyes at him as his smirk widened.

Sean snorted, "Whatever, just hurry."

Jay nodded, glancing out past Sean once more before closing the door. As Sean and Emma waited, Emma convinced him to wait outside the trailer..well, she stormed out so he had to follow. About 10 minutes later, Jay finally came out.

He was in jeans and a grey shirt, his famous thin black jacket over it and ofcourse wearing his black hat on his head. His hair peeked out of it a little.

Emma was next to Sean, in some conversation as they didn't hear him come out and he shut the door after him, walking over to them.

"Ready?" he asked, fishing for his keys in his jacket and they turned to him.

Emma scowled him, "Are **you?**" leave it to Jay to be rude and late.

Jay just grinned at her, "Born ready, _Polka Dot_." he winked.

Her blood boiled.

Sean warned, "Jay, don't piss her off. She's been moody all weekend.." he shut up when Emma glared too at him.

Jay entertainingly watched the two and Sean squirm under Emma's flare, "Trouble in paradise?" he asks.

They both glared at him this time, "get your car." Sean snapped at him. He swore sometimes Jay must be purposely trying to annoy Emma.

He just wanted his best friend and girlfriend to get along.

In the car, Emma sat in the back and kept looking out the window as Jay drove and he and Sean talked and laughed up front. This was like, horrible. If Emma had to think of going to hell and needing to be punished, this would be her punishment.

Some of the places they looked at, really sucked. But I guess it wasn't a trailer home, Jay seemed satisfied with anything but Emma seemed satisfied with nothing

By the 5th apartment, Jay was getting annoyed with her as she rolled her eyes to Sean when they checked out the bedrooms.

Too small.

"don't like it?" Sean asked her, wanting her approval for freakin' everything.

Emma shrugged her shoulders but it was pretty obvious she didn't. She tried to be hopeful, "Maybe the next apartment will be better?"

Sean's shoulders fell.

Jay taunted loudly, "Geez Cameron, sounds like your girlfriend doesn't even _want_ us to move in together." he and Emma shared a glare.

"what makes you think that?" she asked **too sweetly**, and maybe tricked Sean but Jay saw through her.

"Next one _has_ to be the one." Sean insists, "Cause it'll be the last today." he frowned, hoping it was good or him and Jay were at a loss.

Jay gritted his teeth and watched Sean go and wrap his arms around Emma. Jay's eyes sized them up and only glared harder when Emma wrapped her arms around Sean's neck.


	27. Down Memory Lane

The other week, Sean and Jay didn't have luck with that apartment. But when Emma stood at her locker, back in Degrassi again, Sean was walking up to her with a big smile on his face.

"Hey," she laughed, impressed he was so happy.

"Jay found an amazing place, and it's a house."

Emma frowned deeply and paused, "A house? Can you guys afford that? You're still in school."

"Welfare helps as long as I get good grades and it's in Jay's price range. A house, Emma! How awesome would that be?"

"sooo..awesome." Emma forced a smile and he kissed her on the lips.

"I'll see you later."

Emma grabbed him, "Wait, you're skipping just to go see this house?"

"Em, I need to before someone else buys it. Could be the one." he confirms and gave her a look like she couldn't stop him this time.

She nodded slowly, watching him go.

The house, ended up being 'perfect'.

I guess it was. Emma went to check it out alone with Sean after school and it was a nice wood floored house, no carpet..which was a good thing. If they threw parties (Like Jay probably would) the carpet would be destroyed.

The back yard even had a pool. The kitchen had a nice little counter island. The rooms were huge, there was three of them plus the basement. Sean already had plans with Jay to make it into a 'boys' den.

Sean's room was going to be the bedroom closer to the stairs, and Jay's down the hall past the bathroom but Jay also got his own bathroom. Sean insisted it was cause Jay was actually really workin hard for the rent money, so it was only fair. ..Emma didn't agree though, ofcourse.

But, the house was theres now. Sean and Jay were gonna be _roommates._

Emma sat with Manny on their porch steps as the guys were moving boxes and furniture into the house at the end of the month. Spinner was helping Sean and Jay move.

Mel showed up as well as Manny and Emma were talking on the porch, and she came walking over with a bright smile.

She was goregous. Emma's eyed darted up and down. I guess she had to be, being a stripper and all.

"Hey." she greeted the girls and looked over the house, "Wow, it's beautiful." she remarked and then put her hand out, "I'm Mel, Jay's girlfriend."

Manny raised her eyebrows impressed and smiled back, the girl was being so nice, "I'm Manny." she looked back to Emma and paused. Oh. Awkward. "This is..Emma." she introduced.

Emma just smiled tightly and Mel waved her fingers then gasped, "Sean's girlfriend." she pointed at Emma.

Emma froze up. Did Jay talk about her? Or did Sean when he met Mel? She was being stupid, ofcourse it had to of been Sean.

"You are beautiful" Mel noted with a smirk.

Emma was trying hard to hate her but smiled a little back, "Thanks.." she drifted.

"I'm gonna go find Jay." Mel said, pointing into the house then dissapeered.

Manny glanced to Emma, sharing a look and she whispered, "Are you okay?"

Emma tensed and looked at Manny like she was kidding, "Ofcourse I am? Why wouldn't I?"

Manny gave her a look but rolled her eyes and moved on from it, "So this is exciting. We can use Seans pool now." she joked.

Sean had come back out and grinned, "Only if you're nicer to me, Manny."

Manny gasped in shock, "I'm _always_ nice."

Emma rolled her eyes at the two but smiled, shaking her head. She then eyed Manny though at the corner of her eye... why would Manny think she wasn't okay?

When all the furniture was in and just boxes placed around, Sean ordered pizza for them all and Spinner carried a case of beer in for them.

"ouu party." teased Mel on the couch, well, on Jay's **lap** who sat on the couch. She had ruby lips and pale pretty skin. She was toned, probably from that pole she danced around a lot. She had white blonde hair too.. perfect barbie. She was sassy too and Emma was hating the fact Manny was getting along with her so well.

She sat beside Sean on the couch, and she happily let him kiss her neck and squeeze her thigh before he got up "You want one?" he asked her.

She shook her head no and glanced around boredly to catch Jay's eyes hard on her. She looked away, shifting wierdly in his seat. What was his problem?

"Spinner!" Manny madly yelled at him as his can of beer fuzzed a bit and some landed on her shoes

"OH boo hoo." he taunted her.

She glared viciously. Emma almost forgot these two 'dated' if that's what you wanna call it. It was like, for a week or two before Manny found out Spinner was a part of the shooting.

Emma had to admit though, they would of been cute.

Manny had fire in her eyes as she grabbed her own beer, "No wonder I dumped you," she taunted, "not always the brightest tool in the shed, huh Spin?"

"Shed?" Spinner mocked her, squinting his eyes a bit, "Are you sure you should call the size of place with your past boyfriends a _shed_? I'd call it a never ending pit."

Manny gasped, wondering if that was some 'slut' joke.

Jay even laughed, rolling his eyes at Emma's glare at him, "What?" he taunts, "It's true." he muttered.

Manny and Spinner were too busy fighting for Manny to hear Jay's insult but Emma stuck up for her, "Funny coming from **you**." Emma swore Jay's pit went A LOT deeper than Mannys.

Jay raised an eyebrow to her comment, and he almost **dared** her with his eyes to go on. She took the hint, not really wanting to go down memory lane

Mel looked between them to laugh a little, "What's she saying?" she was confused.

"Nothing." Jay noted, eyes darkly on Emma who wouldn't look at him now.

Sean came back and she sat up, smiling more sweetly and he sat down with a pizza and beer in hand, happy also that she looked so happy that he was back.

Wow. This..was gonna be interesting.


	28. Jays Point Of VIEW

_**JAY'S POINT OF VIEW..**_

_**Being shot **__**sucked**__**. If you want my advice? Don't ever do it. Unless..it was for a girl you had fallen for. **_

_**I was around the corner that day of the shooting and I knew there was a lockdown because of Ricky. Who else would snap like that on this very day he was humiliated infront of the school? I was just coming down the hall when I saw Cameron, Emma and that geek she hung around just turning back around to a voice that shouted not to turn away from them. It was Rick, I knew it. In that moment, I took the blame completely for all of this. . and the worst part was, Emma was now in the middle of it. **_

_**That was agonizing to know. I didn't even **__**know**__** I could feel this kind of emotion, agony, hurt, regret. Guilt. **_

_**Not only was she in the middle of this, but also the very person Rick was pointing a gun at just then. I heard him telling her some bullshit like she had led him on or something. That was a lie. The guy was a fucking physcho. I couldn't think though, I felt like a coward just hiding around the corner when the girl I had accidentally fallen inlove with was probably crying her eyes out and about to get shot. I couldn't have that, my mind was racing and before I knew it, I was standing infront of her. **_

_**She was looking at me, confused, and I felt happy. Well, I was in a lot of **__**fucking pain**__** suddenly, but I was still happy I was with **__**her**__**, shielding her from Murray. I can't remember much that happened after.. I remember I said something to Emma but I couldn't remember much as I was bleeding on the floor. When did I even get there? Then it occured to me, The freak had shot me. Good shot, Murray. **_

_**Whatever, if I was dying, it felt good to know it was for her. I remember the pain in my ribs yet the only thing I was thinking and wishing was that I could see her more clearly as she sat over me, but I kept fading in and out but she looked so scared. Why? She had called us quits just an hour ago.. Amy had to fucking ruin everything. Whatever though, good for Emma I guess, I wasn't worth it. If I died, I hoped she'd find a guy that **__**was**__** worth her time and if i lived? I'd stay away from her cause I was nothing but a loser. She was more than that, she was everything. **_

_**Then it all went black. I woke up in a hospital, my uncle crying over me like a little wuss. Hmph, guess I happy to see him too though. He may be a shitty uncle, but that was the only family I got. So I guess I had made it. I lived. Fuck you Murray you freak, I **__**lived**__**. **_

_**I remember sitting up too fast, remembering Emma, and I almost broke out my bullet wound stitches right there. Thank god for all the drugs I was dosed up on. The doctor held me down with help from my uncle, and I was out again. When I woke up, Alex was by my side. A day had gone by . . where had the time go? I was sore. The annoying doctor and Alex kept asking me to try to stand up and walk, every damn day I did this. Alex was...honestly, a big help shockingly.. It's like we forgot we were a horrible couple before and she was at my side, like a friend, and she tried to help me get back to 'me'. It took maybe a week for fully stand on my own and it felt pretty bad, but I walked around slowly, as it felt like someone kept pinching me in the ribs from the wound. I healed quick though, like the doctor said. The night before I got to go home, I wondered if Emma even cared about me. She hadn't shown up or anything. Then again, I remembered my promise that I'd stay away from her. I was no good. It was **__**over.**_

_**Alex gave me some speech while crying her eyes out when I was back home about how horrible she felt about everything, the prank, even us drifting apart. She wanted another go at our relationship. It was shitty to know 'another go' wouldn't make us better though. I wasn't in love with her, and I'd probably cheat again. Which I did. I swore in the back of Lexy's head, she knew, so why did she put up with it? I was such an asshole...**_

_**I remembered my first night back out, getting back into the game, trying to forget everything. Forget **__**her. **__**Some Degrassi girl or guy was having a party, a huge one. I was still recovering but could walk on my own just fine, I just hadn't pulled out the stitches yet, it was still fresh. And so was seeing Emma. That frooze me up.**_

_**I remembered like it was yesterday...**_

_**Me and Cameron were at the keg, waiting for the geeks infront of us to hurry and fill their cups as we held our empty ones and Sean kept going on and on about things I just didn't want to fuckin hear, like trying to get Emma back and how the shooting 'opened his eyes'. Sean was going on about how he still loved her and I know this sound hilarious from **__**me**__**, but I wondered if Sean even knew what love **__**was**_

_**We turned to bump into the one and only, she was with Manny and I wasn't ready for it. I may of even glared at her, not knowing if this was real or not. She stared back up, deer like, and I suddenly remembered I had to stay away, that she was too good to even be standing close to me and it hurt anyways, to be that close to her. To smell the vanilla or even look into those Hazel eyes. . .so I avoided her like the plaque or something. Manny had made some stupid joke about me still being able to party even after I've been shot, but then she gave me the best idea. Drugs, partying..she was right, I was good at that. And what best to mend the broken heart then with random hook ups and abusive drugs? I slipped by Emma, trying my damn hardest to forget about her as I went back to Alex and Amy and tried to focus on Alex. She handed me a shot, and I took it after a second of thinking 'here it goes' .. you know, the part where I turn back into the fucking jerk every claims I am to be. **_

_**At the corner of my eye though, I saw Emma walk out the party with her hand in Sean's. I knew **__**exactly**__** what would happen from here. She would go back to the guy who everyone insisted made her the happiest. The 'perfect couple' , and I, Jay Hogart, would go back to the ravine that would make more bitter and bitter'. The site of Emma with Sean again made me sick to my stomach.. but I made a deal with the devil (myself) , and I was going to stick to it. Stay away from her. **_

_**I was doing **__**real good**__**, I mean really, I was impressing myself how well I was doing. Maybe I was intoxicating myself 24/7 but it was **__**working**__**. I thought of her less, other than when I woke up, and went to bed..and if someone brought her up like Sean. I almost snapped when he talked to me about their sex life and him thinking she was 'ready'. He can go fuck himself. I couldn't think of his hands all over my Greenpeace. I instantly had to get away and went to fool around with Amy, still even dating Alex mind you. See? I was a cheating selfish moron who probably **__**could be **__** faithful to the right girl, but I was busy staying far away from her for her own good while she was dating my best friend. I kept my mouth shut though when I went back to Sean. He couldn't ever know what went on with me and Emma...**_

_**The summer was brutal. I really dug myself a hole then with the drugs but I had to give it to Spin and Alex, who gave me a small 'intervention', they really opened my eyes. Alex even dumped me, but wanted to remain friends. I couldn't blame her and insisted she go off and forget about me completely, but she insisted she'd help me through and **__**could**__** be friends. It was near the end of the summer when I found out just **__**how**__** she could be so cool about our break up...the girl had crossed over. Total lesbian. Funny right? I had no idea to laugh at her, or myself for not seeing it. It was hot though, til I found out she was dating Paige Michealchuck (she could do better).**_

_**Anyway, my reason to my downfall in the summer? Emma ofcourse. Every day I was wondering every second what she and Sean were doing in Wasaga..if she was falling in love with him or not, It was eating me up, and I let the drugs take over. I owe Spin and Alex, I really do. Between them, I confessed to Spinner why I was so down. Who I had fallen in love with. He was shocked, but kinda amazed that Emma was the girl who had turned Jay upside down and nobody had a clue. I would of told Lex, but she wouldn't of took it well, her and Greenpeace were like the biggest girl rivals at school, even before Michealchuck and Santos. **_

_**Moving on.**_

_**I was sobering up. No more drugs, some beer here and there. Alex was trying to help me move on but she didn't understand why I was so down in the first place. She thought it was the shooting, I was sure Sean thought so too when he saw how ruined I was. What was I suppose to say? 'Nope, only depressed and ruining my life cause I'm in love with your girl a happy life together by the way! I'm rooting for you two!' **_

_**Spin was dragging me to the strip clubs again like we use to in the day. He wanted to get me away from the ravine. Guess it was true that the place had a bad influence on me. At the stripcub, I noticed Mel, a girl I once hooked up with before and she use to have dark hair but now blonde. It looked good. I liked it. Guess I was a blonde kinda guy now. She was sassy, which was fun, and the fact she was a pro in bed sorta helped but never fully filled the heart. ..not one bit. She's asked question in bed, after we've fucked, because she'd see my bullet scar. I told her about the shooting, but not the real reason why I got shot. It's like everyone was trying to forget the part I had saved Emma, even her herself. Some rumors went around that they had just found me shot.. I just went along with it, not wanting to talk about it.**_

_**When Sean came back home from the summer in Wasaga, I almost fell off the wagon again when I heard Emma had **__**given**__** herself to him. I knew **__**some day**__** she'd fool around with another guy again, that I wouldn't be her first anymore, and some other guys fingers would be inside her, making her moan, making her come undone like I use, and they would see those stars in her pretty hazel eyes. but I had hoped it wouldn't be anytime soon, so to hear she went *All the way* with Sean ..it..it broke me in two to be honest. I didn't even know I still had a heart deep down in there to still break. **_

_**This was the time I decided to get a girlfriend myself, maybe it was for the better. Then when I heard Sean wanted to live with me, I don't know why, but I jumped at the chance. I knew the rules, stay away from her..but she avoided me so much that I barely saw her since now kicked out of school and I had gotten a new job at another auto shop. I still helped my Uncle, but got more hours at Tony's. **_

_**Read on if you wanna find out my reaction to seeing Emma again after the summer break...**_


	29. Jay's Point Of View, Down Memory Lane

_**JAY'S POINT Of VIEW..**_

_**I was in my uncles trailer, I knew I had plans today and Sean was meeting up with me but I thought I could have a 'quickie' with Mel who stopped by this morning and woke me from a really good dream about, well..another girl**_

_**I was fucking her brains out, Mel loved it from behind, she was completely naked and ass rising up to meet my thrusts. **_

_**"Ohhhh my god!" she screamed, getting pounded on my bed. I should be softer, but I just wanted to come and I gripped a fist full of her blonde hair, and leaned over her as I fucked her deeper and she squeeled in delight.**_

_**Mel was good in bed too, and squeezed her muscels tight around me. She even giggled through her panting and gave me a sexy look back, showing how good I was fucking her with her eyes. They were blue though, not Hazel... not the eyes I wanted to be looking into. **_

_**"Oh god**__** don't**__** stop! Oh fuck **__**Jaaaay**__**" I was close, and about to come when a door knocked and I panted, stopping and heard the music I left blasting in the main part of the trailer was off.**_

_**"HEY JAY!" I heard Sean bark. **_

_**Shit**_

_**"That Cameron?" I muttered, getting off of Mel and putting my boxers on.**_

_**She rolled back and tied the sheets around her, still panting and in sweat, "ignore him." she pouted, wanting to finish what they started but I walked to the door and saw Sean.**_

_**I smirked, he had caught me. "Cameron." I greeted.**_

_**He chuckled, and then his eyes widened. He probably saw Mel naked on my bed. What? He's never seen a naked chick before? My stomach then turned to realise he probably had, with Emma. . Jay couldn't even say he had seen **__**all**__** of Emma, himself.**_

_**"Uh, Jay." he stammered and turned. What ? He could look. Mel had a good body, and she stripped for other guys every night .**_

_**I shrugged, "It's fine." I said carelessly. I wasn't in love with Mel or anything...**_

_**"Me and Em are you ready if you are." taunts Sean, "We said 10 right? To look for places?"**_

_**I zoned out. Emma? Emma was here? I glanced over his shoulder and darted my eyes to her. It hit me hard. She was turned, arms crossed but I still got a view of her new (longer) curves... and hair, she had blossomed more over the summer if that was possible. She looked slightly **__**different**__**. **__Good__** different. A bit more mature in the body area.. I then shook my head. Damn her for coming here, looking good, wearing that little polka dot top. She looked so pretty and classy yet I was wishing we were still fooling around so I could rip off that top and throw her back in my bed where she had once been- hey. . .. wait a minute, how awkward was it Sean didn't know his little innocent Emma had already been here? **_

_**I had to smile smugly, then taunted loudly so she could hear, "Can you give me 5 minutes?" i hoped she heard, and not just what I said but the screams that were coming out of Mels mouth a bit ago. How could they not? Mel was a screamer. I hoped it hurt Greenpeace. then again, probably not, she was 'in love 'with Sean again here now wasn't she?**_

_**I caught her glare that she tossed at me over her shoulder and I couldn't help but smirk wider and my heart skipped. Damn, I was a sucker for her. She rolled her pretty eyes at me and Sean said something, probably a 'yes' or whatever, I was to busy staring at her but snapped out of it and nodded, shutting the door.**_

_**I took 10 minutes to get ready, I know I could of finished with Mel but I was too excited to see Emma again, see what her summer had been like (other than the fucking Sean part, I could care less about that.)Mel got showered and I just left, she'd find her way out when she was ready.**_

_**When I came out, I noticed them in a conversation but she didn't look happy. I asked them "Ready?" as I was fishing for my keys in my jacket and they turned to me. **_

_**Emma scowled at me, "Are **__you?__**" **_

_**I smirked rather happily, wondering if she was mad at me for Mel but that was just wishful thinking.. but she did look pretty hot all mad and stuff at me. Reminded me of the good ol' times..**_

_**I just grinned at her, "Born ready, **__**Polka Dot**__**." I winked. I couldn't help it. Seeing her again, I couldn't resist. **_

_**I saw her eyes flash angrier and I wished Sean wasn't standing between us so I could just kiss her right there. But that'd probably piss her off more and only turn me on further. **_

_**Sean warned me, "Jay, don't piss her off. She's been moody all weekend.." he shut up when Emma glared too at him. It made me wonder and hope that they were having 'relationship' problems. **_

_**"Trouble in paradise?" I taunted, my eyes peircing through Emma.**_

_**They both glared at me this time, I tried not to laugh, "get your car." Sean snapped at me.**_

_**As I drove us apartment hunting, Emma sat in the back while me and Sean chatted in the front. I was happy to see her, but this was starting to feel like a personal little torcher chamber for me having to sit here knowing she was Sean's. I was acting like the boyfriends best friend, all innocent like, when Sean had no idea me and Emma had fucked around before. **_

_**When we got to the first place, I was getting more miserable, watching Emma go view what would be Sean's room. Why'd she need to expect it? Cause she'd be in there with him all the time? Maybe living with Sean would be a bad idea... but the fourth house, I couldn't take it anymore. I wished Emma hadn't come, I wish this icy heart of mine didn't come back when she was around. We weren't finding good places either and ofcourse it was hard to impress Emma Nelson. I watched again as I went to view the apartment myself, as Sean and Emma viewed the bedrooms.. **__**I**__** wanted that with her. **__**I **__**wanted her to view apartments with **__**me **__**and tell me if they met her standard.. **__**I**__** wanted to chose an apartment that was good enough for her to visit me in and to pick the new room out that'd we fool around in. **_

_**By the 5th house, I was going to lose it.**_

_**"don't like it?" Sean asked Emma, wanting her approval for freakin' everything.**_

_**Emma shrugged her shoulders but it was pretty obvious she didn't. She tried to be hopeful, "Maybe the next apartment will be better?"**_

_**Sean's shoulders fell and I taunted loudly, "Geez Cameron, sounds like your girlfriend doesn't even **__**want**__** us to move in together." me and Emma shared a glare. I felt like maybe now she was TRYING not to like any of the apartments that we've found. **_

_**"what makes you think that?" she asked **__too sweetly__**, and maybe tricked Sean but I knew her better and she knew it, sending me another glare behind his back. Sean had no idea how fiesty Em could really be. I did though. I knew her in and out, even if maybe Sean did have her first in *that* way. **_

_**You see, Sean looked at Emma like she was perfect, she **__**wasn't.**__** Maybe she looked it, but she had her flaws. Sean didn't enjoy most of her flaws like her out bursts or stubborn behavior (he complained about them all the time to me), and when he soon finds out more of her flaws, it was going to make him dislike them more. Now me? I fell in love with her flaws, her opinionative mouth (quite like mine) and her need to be controlling (and by god that was fun to take away from her when I could make her tremble underneath me). I loved her everything, her beauty and brain and the rest of the good qualities were just a bonus. **__**That**__** was **__**real love.**_

_**So I fell in love with something I thought I hated, now thought I couldn't live without. So l how am I suppose to fall out of love with her huh? How am I suppose to act like I hated her when I already accepted and loved the things I **__**use**__** to hate about her. It was impossible. Unbearable. **_

_**Sean spoke up again, **_**"Next one **_**has**_** to be the one." he insists, "Cause it'll be the last today." he frowned, and I watched him go to Emma and wrap his arms around her. I gritted my teeth, glaring hard at the guys hands on my Greenpeace. I sized them up and couldn't help but think they looked like the 'perfect barbie and ken fake polished couple' .. it made sense to me. It made me sick to stomach and I had to turn and leave when Emma wrapped her arms around him too.**

**I wanted to piss her off as much as she had just pissed me off then. I wasn't good with jealousy. All week I looked for a place for me and Sean and ****jackpot****, I found a ****house**** for rent only $1020 a month. Not bad at all! And it was perfect, Sean didn't drag her along this time so she could protest, and we bought the place.**

**I know this is horrible, but now I'm okay with living with him, having to see her every day.. I kinda had a sick game in my head..I was gonna try to sabotage their relationship. I know I said I wanted her to be with a guy who was better than me, but I thought about it long and hard.. that guy **_**couldn't**_** be Sean. It couldn't. As much as I love the guy, he's my best friend, but me and him were too alike. .he'd only hurt her too, plus he didn't shut up about Ellie sometimes either. Really pissed me off. He had the hottest girl in town and couldn't shut up about his vampire ex? I ****rooted**** for him, I did, but he wasn't fit for my Emma. **

**When moving day was here, she came along to help with Manny. I couldn't help but admire the summer jean shorts on her. Her long tanned legs showing off. I swore she wore them to drive me crazy as I tried to walk around, moving things into the house. She was a damn distraction. When all the furniture was in and just boxes placed around, Sean ordered pizza for us and Spinner carried a case of beer, Mel had come over to. I pulled her on my lap, narrowing my eyes at Emma who just seemed to be ignoring us. She sat with her manicured nails on her pretty little lap, smiling sweetly over to Sean who was now kissing her neck and I watched him squeeze her thigh and something in me stirred, the beast inside wanting to lash out at my own best friend for touching her like that, especially infront of everything, infront of ****me****. **

**Sean had asked her something, she shook her head no to whatever he wanted and glanced around boredly to then catch me watching her. I didn't even look away and we locked eyes. She looked away with a slight flush to her face and tried to act normal as I narrowed my eyes at her. I needed to know if she ****really**** didn't have any feelings for me anymore.. it was keeping me up at night.**

**"Spinner!" Manny madly yelled, snapping me out of it. Spinners beer exploded, and some landed on her shoes. **

**Go cry me a river..**

**"OH boo hoo." he taunted her.**

**She glared madly. I can sense the sexual tension between the two, plus Spinner never stopped mooping around how he had lost his friends and Manny since after the shooting. I can tell he wasn't over her cause he was still bitter towards her..I knew the feeling.**

**Manny had fire in her eyes as she grabbed her own beer, "No wonder I dumped you," she taunted, "not always the brightest tool in the shed, huh Spin?"**

**"Shed?" Spinner mocked her, squinting his eyes a bit, "Are you sure you should call the size of place with your past boyfriends a **_**shed**_**? I'd call it a never ending pit."**

**Manny gasped.**

**I even laughed, rolling my eyes when Emma glared at me "What?" I taunt her, "It's true."**

**Wasn't like I was insulting Emma, just her slutty friend. Manny was always around, I was getting slightly use to her but that didn't ignore the fact she was known to be a slut**

**Emma seemed rather pissed off at me now, "Funny coming from **you**." **

**I raised an eyebrow to her comment, amused to the fact she was bringing ****that**** up since she was one of my many girls. True, she was the only girl who changed me and ****could**** change my ways, but none the less, another one of my past girls. **

**I **dared** her with my eyes to go on. I'd ****love**** to see the look on Sean's face if he were to find out from her that I, Jay Hogart, had been with her intimately before him. He insisted ****he**** was teaching Emma things, exploring things with her but it was infact ****me**** that taught her everything she knew. **

**She took the hint I guess, shutting up and I wondered if she was having flashbacks also like I was, mainly the one in the grass (that one was my favorite). Or the one in my bed back at my old place.. but that memory was just of me holding her as we slept. **

**Mel looked between tus to laugh a little, she must of sensed the tension, "What's she saying?" she asked me**

**"Nothing." I noted, eyeing Emma who wouldn't look at me now. S**

**Sean came back and she sat up, smiling sweetly and he sat down with a pizza and beer in hand, happy also that she looked so happy that he was back. Jay sneered at their little moment.**

**Living with this couple was going to be interesting.. but Jay liked the fact he was still going to get to keep an eye on Emma.**

**What?**

**Did you really think he was over her or something? No fucking way. Something told Jay she'd always be his star crossed lover.**


	30. Other Things

"Jay!" Emma growled, late for school and pounded on the bathroom door. The little-

It took a moment for Jay to open the door, leaning on the doorframe as he did so and shirtless, looking at her so innocently with a raised eyebrow

Emma's eyes darted away and she tried not to look so startled. He could of put a shirt on. She _really_ hated this new living condition of Sean's. It's been two months now of them two living together and awkward moments between Emma and Jay that just seemed fun to Jay.

"Need something?" Jay asked with a taunting smirk, holding his tooth brush.

Emma looked back at him narrowing her eyes, "You have your **own** bathroom Jay, I have to get ready for school"

Jay shrugged, "the shower heads stronger in here."

Emma scoffed, "Sean's sick and I'm going to be late." she knew it was a bad idea to stay over but Sean kept complaining and begging, and Spike honestly fell too easily for the 'going to Mannys' routine on a **school night.**

Jay seemed to think it over, and she felt her cheeks get a little warm when his eyes slowly looked her over as he thought about it.

Damn, she wished she wasn't wearing just Sean's shirt and little short boxers. How awkward.

"Fine." he opened the door wider, stepping out, and not looking at her anymore, "but only if you go make me coffee as I shower."

He must of had to work, Emma scowled but rolled her eyes, "Whatever." she slammed the door after her and then leaned on that door.

He chuckled and walked off.

Inside, Emma let out the breath she was holding and clenched her jaw, trying to keep her breath steady as she inhaled deeply again and pushed herself to get ready. She couldn't let him crawl under her skin like this anymore, it was getting bad.

She curled her hair and put on mascara, then hopped into hip hugging tight blue jeans with a white tank top and a grey cardigan over it, it tied in the middle near her chest area in a bow. It was rather cute. She checked herself in the mirror before dashing downstairs to make stupid Jay his stupid coffee.

He was already down there, and ready and everything. The little slime! He was even finishing toast and whipped his hands clean as he got up, mouth full, "Want a ride?"

Emma paused, going to the fridge to grab something quick and narrowed her eyes at him.

He was putting on his black winter jacket, It was November now, and snowing outside. A ride wouldn't _hurt_, but sometimes being near him did...

Emma shrugged, turning from him, "Sure." she began to make a veggie sandwich. God, she basically had to shop sometimes for these guys. They barely had any fruits or vegetables in the fridge!

Emma tensed up when she felt **him** behind her, too close for comfort and she almost shivered when she could feel his breath at the back of her neck. He was grabbing his coffee right around her, that was placed infront of her on the counter and her breath stopped to then glare over her shoulder when she swore she heard him chuckle and walk off.

When it was time to go, Emma put on her faux winter jacket, which was basically a leather jacket with white fur like material along her collar. Her curly hair went around her shoulder and she popped on her ivory colored knitted beanie.

Jay wore his usual hat but some gloves as well and then looked at her and smirked a bit at her cute little hat. He then eyed the leather on her...**damn.** She needed to wear leather more often

She caught him staring, "What?" she asked him weirdly.

He shrugged and just opened the door for her with a smirk that she glared at and shoved by him, knocking her back on her shoulder into his stomach. He cringed but laughed a little, knowing she meant to do that.

Ah, it was going to be a _good_ day.

It snowed softly, and Emma carefully walked up the icy Degrassi steps when she got out of Jay's vehicle without even a goodbye. He didn't deserve it. Jerk blasted limp bisket the whole ride over. Her ear were _still_ ringing.

"Em!" Manny happily chased her down the hallway, "You weren't home last night." she pouted.

Oh yeah. Lets fill you in on Manny over the past two months. She was back with Spinner, which Emma kinda liked, he treated her really well. But the reason to them getting back together was an interesting one. Manny had maybe exposed her breasts on camera at a party while she was drunk to the new guy Peter, who was **such** a slime ball. He learned his lesson though when Emma got Sean to basically scared the shit out of him. Peter honestly never looked Manny's way again and Spinner had been by her side through it when her own friends shunned her like Darcy and the cheer squard. He understood that 'shunned' feeling from your own friends. Manny was trying to resist him for a while but when she saw Darcy was trying to get with Spinner, Manny had finally made her feelings known and Spinner felt the same. They'd been together ever since. But, since the tape of Manny Santos boobs, her father had kicked her out and she was now living with Emma.

"I know, I know." Emma stopped at her locker, rolling her eyes, "Sean was sick and wanted me to go help him. I stayed over, and luckily I grabbed a ride out of Jay."

Manny slowly nodded, "Sounds fun." she joked, knowing Jay and Emma usually got into their old cat and dog fights like they use to a lot lately.

Emma scoffed and slammed her locker shut, "He's crawling under my skin Manny."

"Sean?" Manny asked dumbly.

"Jay!"

Manny frowned. Right. She wasn't shocked and she played with her hands nervously, "Do you think maybe it's getting too **complicated?"**

"_complicated __**how**__?"_ Emma seemed to bitter, not liking the way Manny was looking at her but her heart stopped.

"Em." Manny said, stepping closer and reminded, "Your past with Jay?" she swore she'd keep a secret, but.. it was slipping through the cracks.

Manny didn't know how Sean couldn't see the tension between the two.

"It's nothing." Emma insisted, shrugging and giving Manny a 'let it go' look but uncensored, it was more 'let it the fuck go before I go ape shit on you'.

Manny lowered her voice, glaring at Emma slightly, "It's not nothing, Emma. Emma Nelson _doesn't_ fool around with just anyone her **first** time. I know you better than that." Manny whispered.

Emma felt sick, and couldn't believe her _best friend_ was saying this to her. She pushed past Manny and walked off.

Manny's mouth dropped and turned her head to watch Emma storm off. Did she press a button too hard?

"I just wish he would stop bugging her is all." Manny told Spinner, visiting him at work after school.

Spinner gave Manny a look and wished he could tell her about Jay's...'past' with Emma, but he knew Manny had a very big yet adorable mouth. Little did he know she also knew.

"He gets her rattled up and this year needs to be drama free for Emma." Manny told him and cringed, "It's one more week til it's been a whole year since.." she drifted off, looking at him sadly now since he was also, too, a part of the shooting.

Spinner swallowed hard but nodded. Yeah, he knew that was coming up.

"Jay had a shitty year too Manny." Spinner confirmed, raising an eyebrow.

"He was shot, I know. But Emma almost got shot too, and I think it's more fragile to her, Rick put her on 'his list' and she went through a tough year with _other things_." she informs.

"Jay was shot, on the list _**and**_had plenty on his plate too!" Spinner fought with her and his eyes widened, "Not too mention his out of control behavior after the shooting."

Manny curiously turned her head, "huh?"

Spinner paused. Oh shit. Nobody knew about that, "Nothing." he muttered, looking down away from her. Damn, he was a horrible liar and she was giving him her pissed off Manny Santos fierce look.

"Spinner Mason!" she growled.

"Alright, alright." he sighed then smirked adorably at her before sighing again and leaned closer, "This stays between us.." he drifted.

"Scouts honor." she teased, sharing a smirk with him.

Spinner shrugged slowly, "Jay was a bit of an alcoholic after everything that went down," he left the part out it was due to Emma, but Manny was slowly putting the pieces together, "He was into drugs, partying hard all the time.."

"Didn't he always?" taunted Manny.

Spinner shook his head seriously, "**not like that."**

Manny softened and tilted her head, "And this was because of the shooting?"

Spinner mysteriously shrugged, hating to lie to her, "And..._other things."_

Manny's eyes widened, wondering just how much Emma left out to her when she asked her what had happened the night after the shooting and how her and Jay 'finished' things. Manny knew Jay stepped infront of Emma, taking a bullet for her, and she always wondered along with Emma how serious that gester of his was and just why he did it if they were 'over'. There had to be more to the story. Was he possibly...no. No, not Jay. He couldn't. He wasn't the type of guy to...

"Manny?" Spinner snapped her out of it and she blushed.

No, Emma was with Sean. And Jay was with Stripper Mel. That's the way it should be, **right?**

Meanwhile, Sean was so sick he had to drive himself to the walk in clinic. His cold was making him completely nauseous.

"have a seat." the nurse at the desk smiled kindly to him.

"Thanks." he muttered and turned, looking for a seat. Seemed everyone was having colds this winter.

"here," he heard a familiar voice that made his head spin, "Sit here."

He turned, and Ellie had an empty seat beside her, and she raised an eyebrow at him. She looked good, not even sick (if she even was) and he stared at her with wide eyes.

_Ellie. .._


	31. Regrets

Sean coughed slightly, sitting next to Ellie for a few minutes now, "uh.." he snuck a glance at her but she caught him, "how are you?" he finally spat out.

His palms were getting sweaty, yet his body cold. He swore it was his sickness..

"alright." she shrugged and smiled, "I graduate this year, that's fun."

"yea, fun." mocked Sean, remembering he COULD be too graduating with her even he didn't fail. God, he was such a failure.. .he didn't know why Emma stayed with him.

"Sean," Ellie said, rolling her eyes like she read his mind, "It's not **your** fault you failed your 6th grade. You were going through a tough time, you didn't fail cause you were stupid or anything" she slightly teased.

He smiled softly and shrugged and then sneezed.

She jumped a little and giggled a bit, "You caught the flu huh?"

"Whatever it is." he muttered then nodded at her curiously, "why you here?"

"probably to catch a million diseases." she joked.

He grinned sheepishly.

She ran a hand through her red hair while sighing, "Just getting a check up.. on.. things."

Sean swallowerd hard, understanding. She meant her cutting. he glanced around her, she really looked great. See? Better off without him. She wore a teal tank top and jeans, her hair down and naturally straight. Beautiful...

Sean snapped out of it and jumped when his name was called, "I-I gotta go."

Ellie opened her mouth then sadly nodded, "Kay." she watched him quickly get up, "Nice chatting again." she joked, awkwardly shifting in her seat.

He nodded with a bit of discomfort and quickly walked to the nurse. His heart was pounding irregulary. He had to get the Doctor to check that.

The next day, Emma stopped by Sean's with a bowl of soup and opened the unlocked door.

"Sean?" she called.

Nothing.

"Hey." she heard and gasped to the voice she wasn't expected. Mel's. What a shocker she and Jay were **still** dating.

Emma scowled a bit, but glanced upstairs, "Is Sean here? He wasn't at school today and was sick yesterday too.."

"No." shrugged Mel, "He's not here." she wore her work clothes, ready to go for 8. She had a tight leather skirt on with high black high heels and whatever was under her cotton white winter jacket. Emma guessed nothing. Who knew, she was a stripper.

"Thanks. I'll wait for him." Emma muttered and sat down on the couch.

Mel nodded and waved, "See yeah! Jay's just napping in his room." she declared and left with that.

"Like I care." Emma bitters but glanced up the stairs, then put her soup for Sean down on the coffee table

She went up the stairs slowly, her eyes carefully examining around her and trying to be quiet. She eyed Jay's closed door before she snuck into Sean's and looked around.

It was weird he wasn't home, especially if he was 'sick'. Things haven't been so great lately honestly, and they hadn't had sex in more than a month and before that Emma would always complain if they did. She just, kinda regretted doing it with him. She wished they waited. She believed she just was kinda vunerable after the shooting. She cared about Sean she did, but she wished he knew that she wasn't really ready but then again... he didn't know her like _that. _

_She _knew it didn't make a difference nor make** it** come back by _not_ sleeping with Sean, but sometimes she just didn't feel into it. Sean usually just focused on himself when they **did** do it now cause he believed it'd be a long time til the next time they got to sleep together.

She paused, stopping at his desk in his room and her eyes fell onto a small piece of paper and her mouth fell.

Ellie Nash's number was on the paper with her name on it.

Jay woke up to slamming doors. He groaned and sat up, wondering what the fuck was going on and who DARE wake him from his slumber.

"Then where were you!?" came Emma's voice.

Jay rubbed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, sitting up more. What was goin on?

"At the doctors getting fucking medicine, Emma!" yelled Sean back at her.

Jay raised his eyebrows.

"Then why do you have her number in your room Sean? WHY do you have her number at all?!"

Jay got up. This was **good**. Sean had some other girls number? Moron. Whose was it? He stood closer to the door to hear.

Sean's voice sounded guilt like, "I bumped into Ellie at the Doctors yesterday. She left it with the nurse, Emma. That's **all**. I didn't text her back."

"Oh really?"

Jay smirked, hearing the bitterness in Emma's voice, not believing Sean. Good. Cause even Jay knew there was something about Sean who wasn't letting a part of Ellie go.. _get him, Greenpeace._

"Really! What do you think, huh!? That I'm a cheater? That's how low you think of me!?"

"Then why didn't you throw out her number, Sean!?"

"I was delirious, I got home and I passed out. I didn't even remember what I did with the piece of paper! If you can't tell, I have the damn flu!"

silence.

Jay glared at the door, wondering what the hell was going on now.

"Emma, I'd never do that to you..."

Jay madly rolled his eyes. Oh perfect little Seanny, right?

He heard nothing else and stepped back from the door with confusion. He then heard a giggle and he bit the end of his tounge. They must of made up. He rolled his eyes and went to his bathroom, slamming his door shut behind him and took a long hot shower.

That night, Emma stayed over, and she didn't want Sean mad at her anymore than he wanted her at him. She decided to sleep with him, but as he moved over her, he thrusted harder into her than usual.

"Sean!"she gasped a bit, clenching her eyes shut a bit painfully.

"Oh fuck, I'm coming." he panted in her ear

They had a bad night, so Emma wanted to, but her legs tightened around him, wishing he stopped pushing too deep but he was near and he gripped her waist tightly, coming into her. Thankfully, her mom put her on the birth control months ago. Emma insisted it was for cramps... she didn't want ANYONE to know she was having sex. Was that bad?

Sean rolled off of her, breathless and coughed slightly, looking over at her. Emma cringed a bit but turned her head and bared a smile at him, also catching her breath.

He leaned over and kissed her, then rolled onto his side and tried to catch some sleep. Emma frowned, and turned her back to him asleep, frowning deeply.

He was still awake though, staring painfully ahead at the wall

Earlier today...

_"Ellie, I called you to meet me here today cause I need to tell you this can't be happening" _

_Sean sat with Ellie in the dot, and she sat across from him "Sean.." she drifted, "You told me to come here just to tell me we shouldn't come here?" _

_Sean swallowed hard, and nervously played with his hands, "I'm with Emma."_

_Ellie bitterly laughed, "and I'm not asking for anything from you. I just thought with everything we've been through together, we could still be friends." she looked at him and snickered, ,"You have some nerve Sean Cameron."_

_Sean's stomach turned. So Ellie didn't want him? OH shit, that was horrible to just assume... maybe it was because he was feeling such a pull towards her._

_She got up and muttered, "Guess we can't be friends." she stormed off._

_Sean shut his eyes tight and went after her, "El!" he shouted and went out after her_

_It was snowing hard, and she stopped in the wind, her eyes trying to blink out all the snowflakes as her eyes then watered. 'El'.. she hadn't heard __**that**__ in a while_

_She turned and he stood infront of her, and had left his jacket back in the Dot. He came out here to apoligise, but he ended up kissing her._

_Ellie whimpered but kissed back, hard, and his heart pounded. Shit. He had made a mistake.. .. .he was __**in love **__with Ellie, and in that moment he knew not with Emma, though he thought the world of Emma._

_**fuck, fuck.**_

_They pulled away panting, and wide eyed. Ellie shook her head confused, eyes closed, "Sean, what are you doing?" _

_Sean choked on his words but finally confessed, "I've been missing you since you left me El. I was confused during the shooting, I thought I needed Emma. I thought I wasn't strong enough for you and I belonged with her but I don't.." he looked at Ellie helplessly, "I love you."_

_Her tears dropped, and she began to cry, "You can't just keep going back and forth, breaking my heart like you do, Sean! It isn't fair to Emma either!" _

_The wind was getting harder and Ellie tightened her jacket to shake her head at Sean, "Call me when you make up your mind." she snapped_

_He watched her go with hurt in his eyes. _

_"El!" he called back._

_She shut her eyes painfully but turned back_

_he struggled, but finally asked, "Do you still love me?" _

_She sadly looked down, but then nodded, and turned back to go home. His heart pounded like the other day._

END OF FLASHBACK.

Sean turned back to Emma, who was fast asleep now and his face cringed up painfully. He didn't want to that to Emma, or lie to her.

He still couldn't believe himself that he had kissed Ellie today. What was he suppose to do now? He was in love with Ellie, but Emma meant a great deal to him and he loved her in ways too. He didn't wana lose her... but Ellie was right, it wasn't fair to them. His connection was much more stronger to Ellie though, Emma always seemed so fed up with him half the time. Ellie always understood him and enjoyed time with him like he her. But Em was beautiful and smart...but so was Ellie, who was also funny when she wanted to be, which Sean wasn't, but Ellie would always laugh to his lame jokes.

..God he missed her. Living in that old apartment use to haunt him of memories with her. Now he wished he had her back. What the hell was wrong with him? He couldn't help but feel like he just used Emma tonight too.. he shoulda kept it in his pants. He was clearly in a rough state right now. This also made him think about his sex life with Ellie...not that Emma wasn't good but it felt more _perfect_ with Ellie. Ellie knew all his spots and turn ons, Emma just got lucky somtimes when she hit the spot.

Sean groaned, not knowing what to do. Maybe he should ask Jay tomorrow...he was a guy who dealt with more than one and even two girls at a time...


	32. She'll Figure It Out

"Spit it out." Jay growled at Sean, working on his civic in the driveway. It was just a plain snowy day, snow on the ground but not snowing at the moment, so Jay thought it was the time to go work on his engine and fill some things up.

You could see your breath it was so cold out, so when Sean kept sighing, Jay not only had to hear it but see it.

It was a day after the fight he heard with Sean and Emma, as much as Jay didn't want to hear it, he did kinda wanna know

"Ellie gave me her number the other day, we bumped into another at the Doctors." Sean revealed.

Wasn't shocking to Jay who had heard the whole fight yesterday.

"Romantic." Jay said dryly. An ol' run in with an ex at a place where snot, puke and the diseased took place.

Silence.

"And?" Jay asked, rising his civics front hood up but snuck a glance at Sean, "did you call her?" he asked, and Sean instantly looked guilty.

Jay madly leaned on the front hood. Sean told Emma he **didn't**. Since when was Cameron such a fuckin' liar? Jay tried to keep his control, but gritted his teeth and grabbed a tool, "and? I'm not a fucking furtune teller Sean, and if this takes longer than an hour, I'm gonna have to start charging you." Jay taunted, sick of waiting for the story.

Sean took a deep breath and confessed, "I kissed Ellie. I can't tell Emma. I'd hurt her," he cringed and madly said out loud, "Which is what I always fuckin do. I don't deserve Emma!"

"No, _you don't_." Jay said quite simply outloud, fiddling around with his car engine.

Sean glared but then his shoulders dropped. It was true. "I don't wanna break up with her.." or maybe he just didn't want to fight . He didn't know.

Jay glared over and snapped, "So you're just gonna lie to her? Cheat on her? Are you gonna see vampire freak again or what?" he noticed his voice start to rise, so stared down at the engine but his anger boiling.

Sean was a fucking idiot. He wanted to punch his very own best friend in the face right now. Nash over Nelson? You gotta be fuckin brain damaged...

Sean glared at the old nickname Jay had for Ellie and snapped back, "Why the hostility? You're the master of cheating aren't you? I'm suprised you're not telling me to go for both girls."

Jay grabbed a tool and wanted to smack it across Sean's face, but clenched it in his hands rather tightly as he flashed daggers at Sean and looked back down at the engine, "I cheat on girls like Alex, or Amy..or Mel." he gave Sean a look to explain, "Emma deserves more respect than that."

Sean looked stunned and challanged, "You saying if you had a girl like Emma, you **wouldn't** cheat at all?" he eyed Jay rather closely.

Jay coughed slightly and avoided his eyes to merely shrug, "Sure, whatever. Maybe."

"But **not** Emma, Emma... right? Just a girl with as much respect as her. " Sean could still look so jealous, even after just admitting he had been with another girl behind Emma's back.

Jay clenched his jaw, trying his damn hardest to keep his cool, "yea. Not Emma." he sighed.

Sean nodded and moved on, "Well, I'm not gonna cheat on her, not again.. it was a mistake. I'll make it up to her."

Jay bit the end of his tounge, and watched Sean walk away. When he was out of site, Jay madly slammed his front hood down and glared back where Sean left. Emma had the right to know.

"Okay!" Manny cheered, coming down to her and Emma's room a few nights later, "I got all the books I could find in the library."

She put down at least 6 books on Emma's bed who was studying and already had a bunch of book sprawled around her.

Emma giggled but nodded and thanked Manny, "We are going to ace this project."

"We better!" Manny declared, sitting across from her and grabbing a book, "I want those movie tickets Armstrong keeps saying the highest mark will get."

Emma rolled her eyes smiling. Armstrong still taught the class like they were all still 12 year old. Who went to the movies anymore?

The girls giggled and got to studying, about an hour and half later, Sean came down the stairs.

"Hey guys." he greeted, stopping infront of themand looking antsy. He leaned over and kissed Emma quickly and kept glancing at Manny.

Manny took the hint, "I'mmmm... gonna go study upstairs." she declared and grabbed some books, sharing a look with Emma and left.

Emma looked at Sean wierdly, "What's up?" he didn't say he was gonna come over.. this was the second time this week he did this.

"Just missed you."

Emma gave him a weak smile, "We see another every day in school." she teased. He seemed to shut her up with a kiss, and when he sat on the bed next to her, he held a box.

"this is for you."

Sean looked nervous, and Emma glanced at the box. Well if its not a ring he was going to propos with, he shouldn't look so nervous..

Emma took is and smiled, a small little ring with just a peace sign and two little diamonds beside it. Very her.

"Aww. Thank you." she meant it, and leaned in kissing him but pulled away confused, "It's not my birthday." she joked.

"No, it's not." he agreed and shrugged, "I just l-" Sean stopped before he said I love you. Emma was right..he should of waited. There was so many different types of love that now he knew he was in love with Ellie and just loved Emma as a person and a friend. "I love giving you things." he lamely covered.

Emma sensed the strange vibe though and just awkwardly put the ring on her finger, "You didn't have to, Sean. But thanks."

"you guys studying for Armstrongs quiz?" he asked and Emma nodded but groaned.

"It's hard sometimes, with Jack upstairs sick. He cries almost every other 10 minutes." as if on cue, they heard him start up again, "see?"

Sean chuckled and offered, "You can study at my place? I got an interview on Sunday but you can just chill there. Manny can come too."

Emma was impressed with how much he was, well sucking up. She then eyed him. That can only mean one thing with Sean Cameron...what'd he do ? Suddenly Ellie Nashs number came to mind, and she couldn't help but wonder.

"Sure." she swallowed and nodded.

Sean gave her a small smile and nod back.

Both didn't look so sure about another right now though.

That weekend, Emma took Sean's offer since Jack was only getting worse and Snake had gotten sick too. She really wanted to avoid this bug goin around.

Manny walked into the house with her and they found Jay and Mel cuddling on the couch. Mel turned her head first and Emma ripped her eyes off of them, looking for Sean.

"Hey guys." she greeted in Jay's arms, like this was HER house and he was some GREAT boyfriend of hers or something.

Emma ignored and went to the stairs but Manny happily greeted back, "hey!"

Jays eyes followed Emma go to the stairs and cleared his throat nervously, "He's not here."

Emma stopped and turned to look at him questionable and around, "Where is he? He told me and Manny to come.."

Jay looked back at the tv, shrugging but snuck a glance back at her when he saw her at the corner of his eye sigh sadly.

He wanted to kill Cameron, he really did. He caught him on the phone in his room talking to Ellie. No doubt he went to meet up with her. Now Jay wouldn't be a sore loser and tell Emma upfront.. no, she'd see he still had feelings for her. But he wouldn't lie either.. he cared about her too much. She was a smart girl, she'd figure it out

"We can just study in the kitchen til he's back." Manny suggested with a shrug and Emma stiffly nodded and then followed her.

Mel felt Jay tense around her, "you okay?" she whispered.

He just nodded, eyes on the tv again, trying to focus.


	33. World Crumbling News

Emma and Sean were having a scene in the middle of the hall at Degrassi, he tried to grab her arm but she yanked it out, "Then where were you! I stayed the whole night and the next day, looking like an idiot waiting for you!"

"Emma, I just had shit to do. I forgot we made plans!" he shouted.

Students passed, giving the couple odd glances as they did.

Manny bit her lips standing next to Spinner at their locker near the scene.

"Where would you be Sean for a WHOLE night, huh? What made you not come home?" Emma's eyes burned into his, daring him to answer.

His chest caved in. He felt horrible, but he couldn't keep away from Ellie. He tried... didn't even last a few days til he was running around behind Emma's back, trying to see her.

"I..." he glanced at Spinner and nodded at him, "I stayed at Spinners."

Spinner's mouth hung, straightening up. Now Jay used him as well once or twice in the past for cover ups, but he didnt expect Sean to... so this only meant one thing. Sean was cheating on Emma. He didn't think he'd ever live to see the day.

He picked his mouth up when Manny looked at him. She knew him too well, noticing him get awkward.

Emma shot Spinner daggers now and crossed her arms. Well.. was that true? Was she just being paranoid.

"Yea." was all Spinner could say, glancing at Manny and then avoided her eyes. He passed Sean a deadly look when Emma looked down, embarrassed.

Sean clenched his jaw and looked down at Spins glare. He didn't mean to drag him into this, he just panicked. How could he love Ellie and protect Emma at the same time?

Sean finally locked eyes with Emma again and she muttered, "Ok. Sorry.." she shook her head, shutting her eyes for a moment, "I just thought..." she drifted off.

Sean knew what she thought, and she was right. It hurt him to know she knew deep down. He had even **slept** with Ellie the other night.. and Ellie was singing a different tune. She didn't care if he stayed with Emma now, just as long as he came to see her. She wanted him as bad as he wanted her.

Geez this was killin' him.

He wrapped his arms around Emma when she hugged him and he shut his eyes, cursing himself.

Emma sat in class and Manny watched her sadly play with the ring on her finger Sean gave her. She glanced to Spinner beside her, and when the bell rang, she dug her nails into his arm and shoved him into the janitor closet.

"OW, BABE!" he yelled in pain and recieved his arm back when she slammed the janitors closet shut behind her, "If you wanted to be alone, you coulda just asked. No need to force." he teased.

"Did Sean really stay at your house this weekend or not?" she raised an eyebrow, putting her hands on her hips.

Oh geez. She was giving him the 'don't fuck with me' look, and when Manny Santos did that, you REALLY didn't want to.

Spinner looked down and shook his head no. Her mouth hung open. That JERK!

"I don't know where he was, Manny." Spinner honestly said and she believed him as she turned the knob to go back out.

"No, but I think I do." she spat and left. Spinner jumped as she slammed the door behind her.

Emma was painting her nails on her bed when Manny sat on hers on the bed beside. She was reading a magazine and kept glancing up.

"so.." drifted Manny to Emma.

Emma looked over and painted the next toe, "What?" she laughed softly.

"Just curious...where did you think Sean was this weekend?"

Emma's face fell, and she stopped painting to look up at Manny and take a deep breath, "Honestly? I told you I found Ellie's number in his room right?"

Manny nodded.

"I thought maybe..." Emma smiled a bit weakily, not wanting to go on but Manny knew what she was getting at and feared that Emma was right

Sean was with Ellie behind her back. How could he? He was suppose to be Prince Charming

"But Sean's not like t_hat_." Emma said, but her eyes looked distant as she spoke. She put down her nail polish and just sat there upset.

Why did people have to be unfaithful? And if you didn't love someone, you should just end it with them. Emma then blinked, snapping out of it and saw Manny catch her getting so emotional.

"I gotta shower." Emma laughed nervously and got up, walking to the bathroom.

Manny frowned and then looked around before she got up, and dashed out.

_**BANG, BANG. BANG!**_

"I'm coming!" yelled Jay annoyed. He came down the stairs with just a towel on. You see the small white scar that was shaped in an X from where he had been shot before. You could also see every muscel of his. Dang..

He whipped the door open and a mad girl went flying past him

"Where is he?!" spat Manny.

Jay eyed Manny wierdly and looked around, holding his towel around his waist harder, "Spinner?" he asked.

Manny glared at him as she stopped by the stairs, "Sean." she glanced up and yelled, "Sean get your boney ass down here!"

"He's not here." Jay said simply, shutting the door from the cold wind.

Manny snickered and nodded, "Ofcourse he's not." she eyed Jay suspciously, wondering if he knew where Sean was going to and then she blushed, turning around, "Ew go get dressed!"

Jay snickered bitterly, walking up the stairs, "**Ew."** he mocked. He knew by his list of women that _this body_ was not _ew. _

Manny shook her head when he was out of site and then she took the time to sneak to Sean's room. When Jay came out in jeans and a black shirt, he saw Manny throwing things out of Sean's night table and bed ripped apart.

"Woah, pshyco. He'll be home soon." He eyed Manny, what was she doing?

Manny whipped around to him and put her hands on her hips, "Tell me Jay, you are so good at these things. Sean's suspicious lately, a bit of a liar, and he's barely ever home. Emma never knows where he is but when he is around they only fight and he makes her cry. Wanna fill in the blanks?"

Jay's eyes darkened and he looked away from her for a moment before walking out of the room and down the stairs

Manny's mouth fell and chased after him, "hey!" how dare he just walk away from this!

Jay went to the kitchen and to the fridge to grab a beer. Manny stopped in the entrance and shook her head in disgust.

Manny admitted, "You know, I thought **maybe** with yours and Emma's little history you'd care a **little**, but I guess you are just a cold hearted Snake."

Jay looked over at her, his mouth hung a bit. She knew about that? He then glared at her, she knew nothing about it or his feelings for Emma. He cared far more than Manny would ever know.

"You're just like Sean. You probably taught him the ropes to it." she snapped and went to leave.

"If you tell her **Santos**, you'll make her feel stupid. _Cheated_." Jay barked at her and she stopped in her tracks, "and we both know how bad Emma will react to thinking everyone else around will know Sean made her look like an idiot. It **wouldn't** be pretty." he looked down when she turned to him and he muttered, "She knows Manny, she's just stalling. Let her do the lashing out, don't corner her to tell her something she already knows and is just in denial about."

Manny eyed him so close it was making him uncomfortable. Manny was just stunned because Jay was so right. Emma knew, she was just trying to pretend she didn't to save herself the embarrassment but soon, she **will** lash out on Sean and call him out for the coward he was right now. How did Jay know that before her? She was her best friend...

Jay just sighed and turned from Manny, grabbing that beer he was cravin'.

"You _do_ care about Emma." she spoke small, but he heard.

He stopped, opening his beer rather loudly and took a moment before gulping it and turning back to her but avoiding her eyes. He swallowed the beer down hard, ignoring her statement.

Manny crossed her arms and shook her head stunned, "Why can't you just admit it to me? She doesn't have to know."

Jay finally looked back at her while glaring a little, "why make you suffer with my little secret when I'm doing just _fine _keeping it on my own?"

She knew it. Deep down she knew it! Like she said before, Emma wouldn't chose just ANYBODY to fool around with, she wasn't that type of girl. Jay had to mean something to her. And it was hard to think Jay could fool around with Emma without caring about her sooner or later, Emma had that pull on people, and Jay did didn't he? He ended up falling for her. How did Manny see it? She can see the bitterness in his eyes right now. He **had** gotten colder since the shooting but she thought it was just guilt for Rick but it had to be the fact it was over with Emma. And if he was the same ol' Jay, he would of told Sean about their little hooks up out of spite and entertainment..but he didn't, he kept it a secret..for Emma.

Manny looked overwhelmed with just figuring this all out and couldn't believe that fact Jay looked so weak when they talked about her.

"why won't you tell her?" Manny asked. She always knew Jay was still in the back of Emma's head, if he just **told** her, maybe things could be different-

"Get out."

Manny was taken back, "what?"

Jay walked past her, well stormed, and pulled the front door back open, "**Get. out**." he sneered more clearly, glaring at her and out the door, making her get the hint.

Manny angered and stormed over but stopped infront of him. He looked away from her, clenching his jaw.

Why was she bringing this shit up? Why'd she have to figure it out? Emma's own best friend. He didn't trust her to keep his secret, fuck, he didn't trust _anybody_..and Emma couldn't know, and it wasn't Manny's secret to tell and if she did, he'd make sure to make her life a living nightmare.

Emma _couldn't _find out about this.

"You're just a coward too then, just like Sean!" spat Manny, wishing he'd step up. He seemed to know Emma so well, and cared about her more than Sean or any guy Manny had known with Emma but Jay was throwing it away! He was throwing away the chance to be with a girl who could be in love with him too.

That idiot!

Jay slammed the door after Manny and stood there, shaking in anger and maybe fear too. He walked past a small table by the front door for where he and Sean laid their keys, and out of anger he couldn't control, he grabbed it and threw it to the other side of the wall and gritted his teeth. It smashed to the ground, two wooden legs falling off from the tumble. Jay leaned on the wall, cursing the fact someone now knew his dark little secret and glared at his front door...Manny now knew he had been in love with Emma all this time.

This was world crumbling news.


	34. Endless Love

"hey baby." Sean said out of breath, crawling through Emma's window.

It was after midnight, but what the hell, Emma couldn't sleep and sat up. "hey.." she drifts and eyes him.

Why come pop by so late on a school night?

"you didn't answer your phone so I just popped by." Sean declared.

Emma looked to her phone on her night table. Oh right, that... she kinda ignored it. Woops

"sorry, not feeling so good." she admitted, at least some what. It wasn't a flu or ache or anything, but more like a bad mood that has been going for a full month now.

She was thinking she may have Sean to blame.

"Oh." he carefully sat down beside her and asked, "Want me to stay the night?" he kissed her shoulder, "make you feel better?"

Emma smelt something on him that shrugged herself out of his hold, "I just wanna go to sleep to be honest." she told him, eyeing him closely.

He's never smelt like _fruits_ before, he usually had a smell of freash soap. This new smell was making Emma cautious.

"Do you..not want me to stay?" he drifts, noticing the vibe she didn't.

She just shrugged.

He angered but then sighed. He couldn't fight with her. He understood her hot and coldness lately.

"I'll bring soup by tomorrow." he promised and leaned in as he stood up, kissing her forehead.

She just nodded and got back into the covers, watching him go to her window. It'd be Spring soon, and soon enough, she would be 17. This window thing was getting old. .not cute anymore.

She rolled her eyes as he left and she sighed. She wished he was more 'focused' on her. Lately he looked like he couldn't even focus at all on himself. He seemed to jumpy all the time. She didn't think they had even slept together since the night they fought about _**her**_**. Ellie.**

Not that she wanted to, not with the mood she's been in lately, she wasn't even really a person who enjoyed sex really.. but she did **kinda** miss the feeling of the_ pleasure._ Emma had to admit though, it wasn't the 'pleasure' of Sean she missed. Sean wasn't the guy she thought of when she thought of the highest pleasure or orgasm she's ever felt. Sean's never made Emma come undone, Sean actually struggled to try to satisfy her sometimes.

She felt really horrible for thinking about this now, and feeling the heat between her legs under her blankets.

Emma **really** couldn't sleep now.

She glanced around her empty room.

Manny had gone out with Spinner tonight.

She couldn't believe she was going to do this, but wondering thoughts had her thinking about somebodys fingers, the way he use to push his inside her and hit all the right spots, making her moan and gasp for more.

Emma moaned, her fingers inside of her, arching her hips into her fingers and eyes closed. She remembered when _they_ kissed at the ravine, a long time ago, and they were mad at another, yet still had the ability to kiss another. It made it more passionate, more exciting, and he would always twist his fingers inside her as they made out. He was an amazing kisser too, she remembered that the most. The twist of his fingers though, oh god, she _loved_ that part, and when she would come, he kissed up her neck.

Emma whimpered and felt the wash or orgasm wash over her and she bit her lip hard. As soon as she settled down she panted and looked startled when she opened her eyes. She couldn't believe she just did that. . thinking about _someone else._

She sat up, still panting and fear in her eyes.

"This movie is crap." Sean stated the obvious, cuddling with Emma on the couch as Jay and Mel sat on the other.

It was a weekend, and Sean insisted they all hang out together. Jay **really** didn't want to be here. . or watching some stupid movie called 'Endless Love'.

Mel gawked the movie, "It's so sweeeet." she looked to Jay who just sneered and sipped his beer. Mel giggled, slapping his chest playfully.

Emma narrowed her eyes from cuddling to Sean's side and watched the couple on the other side. She snapped out of it when she felt vibration between her and Sean. His cellphone. He ignored it, didn't even glance at it but she felt him tense.

Emma even caught Jay look over and glance between them before the tv. She eyed Jay hard... what did he know? Just pay attention to your stupid little stripper girlfriend. Emma then looked away from him quickly, trying to hide her blush when she remembered what she _did_ the other night.

_your a horrible twisted little person, Emma_. She thought to herself. _He's Sean's Best friend!_

a few minutes passed til Sean coughed, "Be right back." he told them and got up to then turn, "Who wants popcorn?"

Emma looked up at him with this look in her eye, knowing this wasn't about _popcorn._

"I do!" cheered Mel bluntly and Sean left. Emma once again, caught Jay look at her. Her blood was boiling. **What **was his **problem!**

Mel grabbed the remote and pressed the movie on pause.

"Pee break." she said and got up, jolting up the stairs leaving Emma and Jay alone.

"Well that ruined the mood." Jay joked, sitting up and glad to have him arms back. Mel always took these moments to her advantage, knowing Jay wasn't much of a cuddler.

Emma just emotionlessly stared at the tv screen, even though it was paused. Jay worried a bit and went to sip his beer to stop...maybe he was drinking too much again. He frowned and put it down then bit the end of his tounge, glancing over at her again.

They heard low sounds from the kitchen, from Sean, and they both knew he was talking. Probably on his phone.

Jay narrowed his eyes at Emma, who slowly looked away from the tv and back to him. He raised an eyebrow at her and just then Emma knew, he knew something was up to.

"What?" she snapped though, trying to act like it was nothing and crossed her arms against the couch.

Jay merely shrugged, sarcastically noting, "I just didn't know you had to talk to popcorn to get it ready for the microwave."

Emma glared at him but caught his smirk and she couldn't believe he got a small crack of a smile from her. At a time like this, this _shouldn't_ be funny.

"He must be prepping the cornels for death."

"Jay." Emma sighed, rolling her eyes and he just chuckled and she snickered shaking her head. He was such a loser..

Mel came back and they stopped, and she smiled sitting back **onto**__Jay. Really? Emma scowled back in her seat and glared the way Sean was to then get up and go in there. She'd rather that than have to see _this_.

Jay's mouth dropped, not even noticing himself push Mel off of him as he got up to follow Emma.

Shit. She was heading fast for the kitchen.

Emma charged into the kitchen, but Sean had just hung up and took the bowl out from the microwave and noticed her.

He coughed awkwardly, "It's ready." he informed.

Emma crossed her arms, glaring madly at him but didn't catch him, so just left without another word just as Jay came in quickly and stopped. Both guys watched her go and Jay snuck a glance at Sean. Sean's mouth hung open, wondering if Emma knew. On the look on Jay's face, Sean was even shocked to see him looking pissed off too.

Jay walked over to him, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Emma was gone and stopped infront of Sean.

"any more _obvious_ and you might just wanna **invite** Ellie over for dinner with all of us." he sneered at Sean.

Sean blinked, and tried to speak-

"Your fucking pathetic." Jay muttered and walked off, shaking his head and leaving.

Sean stood there stunned, wide eyed. If **Jay **said it, maybe he was being rather horrible. He just didn't have the guts to tell Emma... fuck, this was getting too messy. Soon. Soon he will tell her, even if it costed her never talking to him again.

Emma couldn't sleep that night, and she snuck out of Sean's room. She wore her black little boxer shorts and a white tank top. It was around 3 am and she grumbled about being exhausted as she made coffee.

Jay laid in bed, also wide awake and hearing little movement downstairs. Curious, he got up, leaving Mel behind in his bed as he slipped on his black sweatpants and grabbed a white V shirt.

He went down the stairs quietly, running fingers through his shaggy short brown hair and he looked around the living room. Empty. But the kitchen light was on and he slowly entered, seeing Emma sitting down with coffee. As he got closer, he noticed a ring on the table, off Emma's finger.

Sean had gotten her that ring..

"can't sleep?" Jay asked.

Emma jumped and glared over her shoulder at him, putting a hand on her chest, "Jay you scared the _crap_ out of me." she said.

He smirked, grabbing his own coffee mug to fill up.

Emma just mumbled something, some excuse about not being able to sleep he was sure. She just tapped her fingers on her coffee and stared down at it as he sat next to her at the small table.

"You?" Emma then asked.

He sipped while giving her a 'what?' look and then remembered the question 'can't sleep?'

He shook his head no, "Mel snores." he joked, not really having a good excuse to stay and stay up with her, but he wanted to.

He eyed Emma, seeing some sort of flash of anger? It always appeared in her eyes and Jay could never tell if it was jealousy or just anger towards him for being around her. He pissed her off sometimes just that much so maybe it wasn't jealousy..

He eyed her up and down and she blushed a little, trying to ignore it and the fact she was wearing the smallest shorts...she should of put on a sweater or something more, covering. Jay couldn't rip his eyes off her, she had golden skin begging to be touched..he missed running his hands down it.

Emma was feeling rather nervous, the other night flashing through her head and snuck a glance at Jay for her to then grab her ring and stand up quickly, "I-I'm going to go to bed."

"Suddenly sleepy after all?" he asked.

Emma swallowed hard but stiffed a nod and went to turn. She then stopped and wondered if she could maybe..just maybe ask Jay about anything he knew about Sean and Ellie.

"Jay."

He looked up softly when she said his name so gently and weak. They locked eyes, until she snapped out of it.

"Nevermind." she softly snickered and slightly turned to keep going and tossed over her shoulder, "I'm sure I'm just being stupid."

She stopped when she heard him loud and clear, "I'm_ sure_ you are."

She turned, giving him a look but he looked straight at her, almost into her soul like he knew exactly what she was trying to ask him. So was he saying she was an idiot for thinking Sean could cheat on her? Or was he agreeing she was just stupid cause he also knew something was definitely up.

Emma left as quick as she could, not liking the fact Jay may know something.. she wanted him to believe the illusion her and Sean were just _happy_. That she was doing _great_ ...

Who the hell was she kidding?


	35. Best I've Ever Had

Emma looked pretty angry right now, leaning against a wall with her arms crossed childishly but the cutest pout on her face. She wore a pretty cute little white dress. It was clinging to her every curve and she pulled off sexy while pulling off cute too. The straps of the dress were skinny as hell, could easily be ripped off her shoulders and the dress down her bod-

"JAY!"

Jay jumped from the corner of the party, and noticed Alex infront of him, smiling wierdly at him since it was so hard to catch his attention.

"Lexy!" he said shocked, but happy she came.

Oddly, Sean decided to throw a party this weekend at their place. The living room was most crowded. They both leaned in and hugged.

"Thought I'd come by to check the place out." she laughed.

"Bring your annoying girl friend with you?" taunted Jay.

"Brings yours?" Alex challenged and they both smirked. Jesus. Maybe they dated another in the first place cause they were so alike..

Alex seemed to have a thing for blondes too, who were mouthy.

"what's new?" chuckled Jay, glad to see Alex and on good terms with her after all the shit they went through.

Meanwhile..

Emma leaned off the wall as she waited for Sean, a glum look still on her face as he finally came over holding a beer.

"hey." he panted, "Sorry, it's a zoo in there." he glanced in the kitchen to all the people.

Emma ran a hand through her long straightened hair that fell over her bare shoulders and she sighed sadly. She really looked good tonight, and he didn't even take notice. The white dress made her skin glow.

"Oh my god!" he laughed, completely avoiding her again as he noticed Craig Mannings walk in, "Em, I'll be right back." he walked over to an old friend.

Emma gave Sean a look of disbelief. Since when did he care so much about CRAIG!? She couldn't take it anymore. She was even craving her own alcoholic drink and went to walk to the kitchen to stop dead in her tracks..

..coming through the doorway of the party was a redhead who had a **lot** of nerve.

Ellie Nash walked in, and she seemed to be searching for someone.

Emma felt all the emotions fly through her at once. Anger, jealousy, envy, confusion. At school, she could avoid Ellie since Emma was a year younger.. but here, in Sean's own house, fighting over the same guy? It was useless. Emma now felt the uncertainty, the loss of control, the doubt, the horrible feelings crawling through her.

She felt the lump getting bigger and bigger in her throat, and the tears stinging her eyes so she turned as quick as she could, bumping into Derek and Danny on her way but just kept running.

On the other side of the party, Jay saw Derek stumble a bit and drop his beer. Damn, not on his _floor! _He then noticed it was Emma who caused it, but she kept moving and had even run up the stairs, squishing through people desperately.

"So wheres Mel?" Alex asked Jay

Jay was too zoned out and raised his finger, "Hold that thought.." he drifted, going towards the stairs and glanced around before he went up them.

He stopped halfway before going up though, his eyes catching something. _Ellie_ was at the party. She was just walking up to Sean as Sean was smiling like an idiot back at her. It's like the moron didn't even care if was caught nowadays. No doubt this was the cause of Emma's pain..

Jay went up, and looked around. Sean's room was empty, and the bathroom door closed. He leaned on it, and cleared his throat, "Emma?" he said.

"Go away." came a snuffle.

Inside, Emma whipped her tears while glaring at herself in the mirror. The last person now she wanted to see was _him_. She wasn't good enough for any guy, was she?

She glared at the dress on her. Why'd she even get dressed up? She's was just _ugly_ anyways. Sean picked Amy over her before, now picking Ellie. Chris had even picked _Liberty_ over her before. . and Jay, Jay went for anyone _but _her which was the most hurtful of all.

She madly whipped around when Jay came in anyways, a look on his face like he _knew_ she was going to start yelling at him and he didn't care.

"Get out!"

"No!"

"I mean it, Jay," she sobbed, "Just go, please!" she turned and tried to hide her tears, embarressed, but he saw them, and her red little nose.

He shut the door behind him, locking it. She leaned forward on the sinks counter, trying not to tremble and keeping her back turned from him even though he could still see her clearly in the reflection..just as long as she couldn't see him was just fine for her.

She sniffed and tried to wipe her tears quickly with the back of her hand and sadly looked down in the sink.

_She was a wreck. She was disgusting.._

She felt a strong arm wrap around her waist and Emma tried not to sob harder, "Don't." she pleaded, her lower lip trembling. She didn't want him to touch her!

He was a **cheate**r, _just_ like Sean!

Jay hung his head near her shoulder, and held her tighter as he nuzzeled her hair, inhaling the scent of vanilla and she trembled more in his arms.

Emma clenched her eyes shut painfully, "Stop." she begged him, feeling her heart pound and cave in at the same time over and over. It was an overwhelming feeling and she didn't miss it. She hated that Jay controlled her body and heart like this.

Jay stupid Hogart.

"Let me go!" she finally said stronger and madder, trying to take his strong off from arond her with her weak shakey hands and tears kept rolling down her caramel colored eyes.

"_Make_ me" he said huskily in her ear, making her melt _just like that_, and used his other hand on the other side of her to pull her hair off her shoulders from where his head hung and then he leaned down, kissing her shoulder softly.

Emma bit her trembling lip but was frozen, that is until when she felt his lips on her body again, her heart fluttered and she shut her eyes with a sigh.

When he felt her tense down, and relax in his arms, he moved closer to her neck and kissed it a bit it more harder then her shoulder, and when he heard that moan escape her lips when he did it again, he kissed it more hungrily the next time and dropped his arm from around her. He put both his hands on her shoulders to whip her around to face him, she was pushed back against the sink instantly and Emma gasped in sharply, but when Jay cupped her face next she was already kissing him back just as passionately and whimpered into the kiss

Jay could feel his head exploding by a million thoughts at once and he grabbed the back of Emma's thighs, jumping her on that sink carefully and stepped in between her legs. He grabbed the back of her neck to kiss her deeper as his other hand went to her waist and her little hands rested on his chest. Her mouth parted for his entry, and she moaned again when his tongue pushed against hers and his hands roamed over her body.

What was he doing? He was with Mel, she with Sean. She ripped from the kiss, panting, and staring up at him with a look that they should stop as they both panted and stared at another. His eyes darkened on her, his grey eyes swaying down from her eyes to her body in need, and she blushed at his hungry gaze. She forgot the way he use to look at her like _that_, like she was beautiful or something.

She bit her lip. She wanted it, she wanted _him._ Screw Sean and Mel right now.

She grabbed his belt and quickly un did as he crashed his lips back down to hers and sighed happily. His fingers ripped those little straps on her shoulders off and Emma moaned happily when she felt his hands push her dress down to around her hips. She had a lacey black bra on and he groaned into the kiss when he pressed up more against her and she felt his hardness between her legs even through his jeans.

She forgot how fast she could turn him on.

"Jay." she whimpered. She needed him to make her feel the way only he could.

He pulled his shirt off and then his hands pushed up to her breasts, which have grew a lot more since he was last with her. He kept groping them over her lace bra until he un did it and began sucking her neck again as she leaned a bit more back on the sink counter so she could undo his jeans now and they fell right off as he looked back down at her to stare at all her glory.

She was _perfect_. Skin tone beautiful, eyes up at him like a sexy little kitten, and chest exposed (begging for his hands to touch them again).

He looked into her eyes. They'd never done _this_ before.. and Emma wished they had. She had totally regretted it with Sean, and she was hoping she didn't with Jay.. she gazed down to his boxers and she reached her hands down in between them, locking eyes with him again as her hands slid down his boxers slowly and his hard cock was bare out and throbbing for her. He stared back down back at her, searching her eyes with hope that she was not fucking with him. For more reassurance, Emma spread her legs apart more and her hand wrapped around his dick to stroke it first.

Jay hissed and shut his eyes, leaning one hand on the mirror infront of him for support and his other hand laid down on the counter beside her body. He opened his eyes and stared down at her face as she was stroking him hard but slow, and she bit her lip as began to pump faster and he growled, stopping her wrist and she looked up at him worriedly that he was going to stop this whole thing.

He only stood up and ripped her panties down with one pull and lifted her dress up her thighs. He leaned back over her to kiss her as his hand dove between her legs and she cried up and arched back with eyes shut as his hand pushed right down and up between her wet folds and then pinched her clit

"JAY!" she cried out and raised her hips into his hand and he put his head down to kiss her throat as her head hung back, letting his hand assault her, "Oh. _my..goddd."_

"You're pretty _wet_, Greenpeace." he growled tauntingly in her ear when she raised her head back up and she clenched her teeth, eyes still shut and moaned again

"Shut up." she panted but said in the most weakest whimper. She was going to come soon if he- yup! He started to push his fingers into her, and twisting them like she way she loved it, and if her eyes weren't already closed, they would of rolled back, and she gasped in and out, ready to see those stars again.

He stopped and she breathed heavily, opening her eyes and they locked into his. When his hand was gone, she felt his hardness against her folds and she raised her hips a bit to rock against it, and press against him, teasing him. It made him angry though even though it turned him on. Sean must of taught her that. He didn't _like_ the reminder she wasn't a virgin and learned some new things without him with another guy.

"Say it." he demanded.

She stopped and he positioned himself to almost entering her and she gave him a pleading look to just do it. She wanted to feel him inside her, to fill her up and she gave out the sexiest little pout noise when he wouldn't and grabbed her chin.

"Tell me what you want." he demanded again, raising an eyebrow.

She scowled back at him. He knew how to piss her off and make her say things she didn't want to, but were definitely on her mind.

"I want you." she whispered helplessly, running her hands up his hard stomach and then her eyes glanced to her hand when her fingers stopped by his ribs and she felt it. The scar from the shooting. He knew what she was looking at and he softened, searching her face as she got lost looking at it and he almost shivered to her finger softly tracing the x shaped scar.

She looked up at him more sure like now, fingers still on the scar and said loud and clear, "I want you to make me _yours_."

She cried out when he entered her right there, her mouth falling and gasping loudly, clenching the ends of the sink corners. Her words had him throbbing in ache for her, he couldn't wait another second. She panted, whimpering a bit and got use to his size, clenching around him and he slid out, clenching his teeth and pushed back in.

He gripped her hips and looked down to watch his cock slowly slide back into her again and out, and back in. She was panted _really _hard, whimpering still and trying to get use it. She was tight. He **loved** it, and pushed deeper into her as he looked back to her and grabbed some of her hair into his grip.

She clenched her eyes shut, feeling him fill her up and she almost came right there even with the _slight_ pain she still felt. It'd only been a minute of fucking and Jay was already 10 times better than Sean.

"that feel good, Em?" Jay panted, looking down at her as she nodded, shutting her eyes even tighter, and she was trying not to cry out. He could tell, "Look at me," he gripped her hair tighter which made her only hornier and she raised her hips to meet his thrusts but did as he told her to do and he growled in pleasure.

They stared at another as he pounded into her with good speed and rhythm. Not too little, not too much.

"**oh god**_**, **__Jaaaay." _she exhaled, trying to keep her eyes open like he wanted her too but they fluttered and her breath was unsteady. He was getting close too, and his hands gripped her hips tighter, leaving imprints on her hips but kept his eyes on her and watched her face wash over with complete pleasure and hapiness.. his cock jumped inside her, it was the best thing he's ever felt, and he's been with virgins but nothing was like _her_ or being **in **her.

Thankfully the party downstairs had music on that seemed to of gotten louder which was a good thing when Emma started to cry out harder and even he was groaning loudly. He picked her up completely and Emma wrapped her legs around his waist as he easily bobbed her body up and down on his shaft as he pressed her up on the bathroom wall.

Her legs were shaking around him, coming, "JAY!"

There was a knock at the door but they ignored it, not caring even slightly who it was. They even both glanced over but shut it out and stared back into anothers eyes but Jay did seem to go slower and even softer. She saw the twinkle in his eyes as he looked at her, raising his hips into hers tenderly but still guiding deep into her and she couldn't breath right, staring into his eyes just as lovingly and down at his lips. He crashed his lips to hers softly and she whimpered into it, kissing him back. Her heart pounded and her body lost control, as did his. They pulled away as Emma let out a sexy sort of _wail, _digging her nails into his shoulders and he gripped her hips as he clenched his eyes, coming inside her and grunting like a wild animal. He jerked once more and cried her name out, and then dug his face into her neck as she shook and trembled, then wrapped her arms around him and fell limp.

He held her carefully up against the still, though exhausted himself. Both panted, trying to calm down and he cringed as he slowly slid out of her and then slowly put her down. She blinked, and blushed madly, pushing her dress down and top up. He coughed slightly and snapped out of it to look for his boxers and slid them on with his jeans at the same time. Grabbing his shirt, he turned to her still shirtless as she was trying to fix her hair and he smirked sadly.

They were going to act like this didn't happen, weren't they?

"I'd worry more about the hickeys on your neck then your hair, Gp." he taunted, raising an eyebrow but let his fingers caress her blonde honey colored hair.

She blushed madly again, and felt tingles against her cheek when he let his thumb caress it in that old circular motion she loved.

They stared at another til the person at the door knocked on it madly again, "COME ON! A MANS gotta piss!"

Jay angrily ripped his shirt on, glaring at the door and back to Emma who suddenly looked wide eyed, and startled. She was taking in what they had just done.

"Relax, he won't have a clue." he teased her, "you look so damn innocent all the time."

She gave him an annoyed look. She wasn't _that_ innocent, clearly, look what they just did. He snickered and went to the door. She saddened and her shoulders dropped. She wasn't upset about Sean finding out, he was clearly doing things behind her back..

Jay put his hand on the door, about to leave, but paused and looked back at her. She was looking down and he opened his mouth to slowly close it and looked down too. He opened the door, and shut it behind him.

When the door was shut, Jay grabbed the annoying prick at the door and shoved him up on the wall roughly.

The guys eyes widened, "Sorry dude! Geeze!" he yelled fearfully.

Jay growled at him, "See that room?" he pointed to his own and the guy nodded frantically, "Go piss in that bathroom!" he shoved the guy away and glared, watching him go.

He turned back to the washroom, knowing Emma was still in there and he frowned deeply before going back down to the party.

'


	36. Not Good Enough

Emma had stayed at Sean and Jays that same night, and she turned her back on Sean this time when they went to bed. He stared at her back as they went to sleep

"Did you have fun tonight?" he whispered. He actually hadn't seen her a lot tonight at the party, but maybe that was his fault..

Emma opened her eyes and didn't turn, "Yup."

Sean blinked but raised his eyebrows, "good." he said and got comfier, putting an arm around her waist.

Emma shifted uncomfortably but let him. She shut her eyes and let tonight replay in her head, how good it was to feel _his _lips back on her. The moment they had when she touched his scar, **their scar**.

She slept soundingly.

Meanwhile, Jay was having trouble sleeping. He slept alone, staring up at the cieling in his bed, _hoping_ she wasn't in his bestfriends bedroom doing what **they had** done tonight. He shut his eyes harder, remembering all her moans and whimpers, her gasps and the way her hips raised into his for such a 'good' girl.

The next day, Sean had made breakfest for them all and Mel came by with coffee from Starbucks.

Emma happily took one from her, sipping her latte as she caught Jay's eye from across the table and they locked eyes for a moment til Sean stood between them.

"Eggs, em?"

Jay snickered, and got answered with a rough kick from under the table. Sean looked at him and he tightened his mouth with a grin, but wanted to groan in agony.

"Yes please." Emma finally sweetly answered.

Sean smirked back over to her and gave her a plate, then sat next to her as Mel sat with Jay and opened the newspaper infront of him.

"Babe look, someones selling a jeep for only a grand." Mel told him.

Emma kept her eyes down at her history book, it was only Sunday, but on Monday Miss Kwan was giving her and Manny the hardest test ever. She heard from the seniors that this test was brutal.

Jay took a deep breath, reading it over and nodded with a shrug, "If you get it, I can probably fix it at the shop."

Emma focused even harder on the book, seeing at the corner of her eye that Mel happily rubbed her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

"Em," Sean teased beside her, leaning over and teased in her ear, "Study any harder and smoke will be comin out of your ears. Take a break." he rested his hand on the small part of her back, rubbing it in circles but she didn't like when _he_ did it.

Still though, she bared a smile to him and nodded. She closed her books and sighed.

"Well, I'm late for work." Mel told them, getting up and stole a kiss from Jay

Sean and Emma both looked confused and even Sean asked, "Uh, but it's morning?"

Mel even sort of blushed but giggled, "I'm more than just a stripper guys! I do clothing retail too at the mall on weekends"

Jay smirked over at Mel, chuckling and shaking his head as both Emma and Sean tried not to laugh as well and just nodded with wide smiles

"impressive." Emma insisted and Mel nodded happily as she grabbed her purse and left.

Sean got up, and grabbed his plate as Jay gave Emma a 'I know you were being sarcastic' look but they shared a smirk behind Sean's back.

"You want a ride back home?" Sean asked Emma as he peeked at his phone quickly and suddenly got antsy. Ellie was already at the Dot, he told her to meet him for 11, not 10.

Emma looked a bit confused and looked back down at her phone, "Manny and Spinner are gonna come pick me up for 11. I thought you were coming with us to the movies?"

Sean's mouth fell. _**fuck**_**. **

Jay got up, clenching his jaw and left the room, but narrowed his eyes at Sean before he disappeared.

Emma shook her head at Sean, "so what is it? Are you or aren't you?"

"I made other plans, jesus Emma, I'm sorry." he shut his eyes madly, "We can't be around another 24/7!"

Emma was a bit offended and looked at him quite hurt. The sad thing was, they were _barely_ together anymore.

Seans eyes widened, not believing he just said that. She looked so hurt. His heart dropped and he looked at her helplessly, "I'm sorry." he apologised and explained, "it's just..." he thought about telling her the truth, once and for all.

Emmas breath stopped too.

"It's just Craig.." he sighed and looked away from her, "Last night he was doing coke at the party. I'm just gonna meet up with him, try to talk some sense into him. We use to be pretty good friends."

Emma's shoulders dropped. For a second there, she thought he was going to tell her the truth. She got up though and walked to him, nodding. She kissed his cheek and she stiffed a nod, "Go then."

Sean looked at her, stunned. She wasn't going to put up a fight? He smiled softly and happily pecked her on the cheek and went around to go to the front door and leave.

Emma stood there and numbly went to go sit back down. She knew what and who he was really going to go see and she was _letting_ him, no fights this time.

She heard the door behind her shut.

_**(Sarah Mclaughlin, Good enough)  
Don't tell me I haven't been good to you  
don't tell me I have never been there for you  
don't tell me why  
nothing is good ..enough**_


	37. Too Late

_**you deserve so much more than this  
So don't tell me why  
he's never been good to you  
don't tell me why  
he's never been there for you**_

so just let me try  
and I will be good to you  
just let me try  
and I will be there for you  
I'll show you why  
you're so much more than good enough... 

When Emma got home from a very long walk, with two guys on her mind, she huffed in stress as she closed the door behind her. They all had plans for the movies today but even Manny had ditched her.

When she walked in though, and down the stairs to her room, she saw the tears down Manny's cheeks and she looked up at Emma just so sadly.

Emma's mouth dropped, "Manny.."

"Where WERE you last night!" Manny cried, shaking her head and shut her eyes, "You don't even know what I went through."

Emma went over to her quickly and pulled her into a hug, "Just breath, tell me _everything._" she cringed, wishing she knew what was wrong

She never seen Manny look so upset, other than well, that time she had an abortion.

Manny sobbed, "Craig was back in town, a-and high on whatever the hell he's on." she sneered and then choked on her tears, "And he kissed me out of nowhere, a-and Spinner walked in just as he kissed me at the party. I didn't kiss him though, Em!"

"I believe you!" Emma insisted, pulling her into another hug, "You just have to tell that to Spinner."

"He's not answering any of my calls."

Emma frowned deeply, "Well then he's an idiot."

"Is he?" bittered Manny, "With my reputation?"

"Manny, nobody thinks that way of you anymore."

"Are you kidding? Maybe I had a chance before Peter put a tape of me out there but not anymore. I'll always be the towns slut. And the only guy whose ever truly loved me for me, never wants to see my face again," her face went red in anger, gripping the pillow in her lap madly, "GOD I HATE CRAIG!" she whipped the pillow at their dresser.

Emma blinked and put her hands on Manny's shoulders, "Manny, _sweetie,_ calm down." she said softly and then dropped her hands, frowning deeply.

Manny took a deep breath, nodding and trying to do so but saw Emma biting her lip guilty like and giving her a look like she had something to say.

"What?"

Emma jumped, and then thought it over and shook her head, "Nothing."

"Em.." whined Manny, "Don't do this to me today."

"Fine." Emma huffed and sat up more, "You wanna feel better? Listen to this. I think I can beat you in this 'slut' competition."

Manny gave her a warnful glare.

"Seriously.." grumbled Emma and confessed, "I_hadsexwithJay._"

Mannys eyes widened, hearing exactly what Emma said even if she did say it rather quickly and breathlessly, "EMMA!" she shouted.

Emma squealed being pushed down onto Manny's bed with Manny ontop of her, shaking her shoulders madly

"Are you c_razy!?" _

"Possibly!" Emma admitted with a somewhat look of amusement over that.

Manny had to burst into laughter and Emma tried not to laugh but joined and Manny raised an eyebrow, "So was he like this.." she made a pose on top of Emma.

**"MANNY!" **

"Or like this." she fell down beside Emma and pulled the blonde on top who grabbed a pillow and sat over Manny, hitting her in the face with it and got up.

"Neither!"

Manny was laughing hysterically, and Emma shook her head rolling her eyes but still laughing and blushing madly.

She fell on her own bed and sighed rather happily

Manny then bit her lip and calmed down, softening at Emma as the blonde turned her head and they locked eyes. They seemed to remember Emma was with Sean, and shouldn't be giggling about this. Emma then was suddenly looking upset, and she stared up at the cieling.

Manny got up and walked to her, sitting on the side of Emma's bed, "What are you and Sean gonna do?"

Silence.

"I think he's with Ellie right now.." Emma drifted off quietly, eyes still up on the cieling and a small tear slipped down the corner of her eye since now she could admit out loud to someone else.

Manny frowned seeing it and Emma whipped it away and sniffed.

"Remember when I asked you if you loved Sean before?" Manny asked Emma

Emma frowned and tried to remember. Oh jeeze, that was so long ago, before the shooting. It was when Alex had walked up to Emma in school, and Emma was a nervous wreck thinking she had found out about Jay and her fooling around. Turned out it was Alex sticking up for Ellie, and she shoved Sean infront of Emma that day, telling her he still wanted her. Emma went back home, crying, upset that she had thought Alex had really found out about Jay but it was only about Sean. She remembered her and Manny's talk..

FLASHBACK

_"Do you love him?" Manny whispered. _

_Emma cried harder, shaking her head no. She wasn't even sure what love was. But no, she did NOT love Sean Cameron. She knew that much_

_"I wish he'd just go away." Emma cried harder into her pillow. _

_Manny hugged Emma tighter and went to open her mouth as her next question that raced through her mind but she decided against it...asking Emma if she loved Jay right now, would be just too stressful._

END OF FLASHBACK.

"Maybe I was never _inlove_ with Sean," Emma grumbled into her pillow, "But I thought we atleast had some mutual respect, and atleast good chemistry but I guess our history isn't even worth him trying to save."

"Maybe you guys still can save your relationship." Manny said helpfully, "Maybe...it's better if you guys were friends?"

Emma looked over at Manny and snickered, "and let him be with Ellie and I die alone?"

"You won't die _alone_, Em." giggled Manny, slapping her shoulder silly, "We're still young. You still have a chance to find the one." she bit her lip and wondered, was it time to ask Emma if she loved Jay?

"Girls! Dinner!" came Spikes voice upstairs.

Manny grumbled. Maybe another time..

"Lets go." she pulled Emma up who groaned but went with her.

Meanwhile, Jay was on his couch as he couldn't stop his own memories from highschool cloud his brain... he was alone at the house today, and couldn't get _her_ off his mind

The tv was on, but something else was playing in his head..a moment between him and Emma.

_**Jay had got out a cigarette from his pocket and gave a small cackle as he put it in his mouth and talked from the corner of his mouth, "We had a deal." he muttered loudly and began to light the smoke.**_

_**Emma wrinkled her nose in disgust. She was so young then, only 15. **_

_**As he inhaled, his fingers took the smoke away from his lips, "Every other day for lunch, we're **__**friends**__**, Nelson. Deal with it."**_

_**"This deal isn't logical!" Emma insisted and grabbed the cigerette before he put it back in his mouth, "Nor healthy.." she taunted, putting the cigerette out-**_

_**"Hey!"**_

_**"..For my mind or lungs." she finished with a fake smile then frowned as she got up and grabbed her water bottle, leaving.**_

Jay smirked softly, remembering from day one Emma was his little feisty girl, but at the same time, he could be his sweet little innocent Greenpeace.

The door knocked and Jay got up, walking over to it.

He opened the door and stared, for his eyes to then glare and sneer, "**you."**

Ellie stood there with wide eyes and looked around him, "I-Is Sean here?"

"No." spat Jay and crossed his arms, leaning on the doorframe.

Ellie looked down and swallowed hard, she knew her and Jay were never 'friends' but why glare daggers? He glared at her like she had done something personally wrong to him.

"Can I wait here for him?"

"You have a lot of _fucking_ nerve, Nash." Jay told her, raising an eyebrow.

Ellie looked around the neighbourhood and was glad it was late, and nobody outside to hear them. She looked back at Jay, "You don't understand everything."

Jay raised his finger, "Seans with Emma." he raised another, "He's cheating on her," another, "with you." he raised both his eyebrows while crossing his arms, "Did I **get **_everything?_" he spat.

Her mouth dropped until she glared, "Why do you care what he does with me **or** Emma? You dislike anyone who dates Sean! You just want him to be a narcissist player and cheater like you." she spat.

Jay snickered and then shrugged, "He's got the cheater part down already, Nash. And what does this all make you, huh? A slut? Emma's never done anything to you so whats your reason to wanna hurt her and your own reputation?" his voice raised louder

"I'm inlove with him. You don't get it!"

"I don't get it?"

"You don't! It's hard being away from the one you love!"

Jay took a step forward and she jumped back and stared at he yelled, "You don't think I understand that?! Try staying _far away_ from someone you **love** just because you care about them and don't wanna fuck them up. Actually, _why __**dont**__ you_ try that? Might make everything better." he taunted.

Ellie was shocked, and more by the fact Jay said he had been in love, or has? Or whatever...

"I know what I'm doing to Emma isn't fair, but Its too late now."

"Hows it too **late**?" he bittered.

Ellie snapped, "I'm pregnant!"

Jay's eyes widened and they heard movement behind them. They both turned and Sean stood on the porch steps, staring back at them. He was as pale as a ghost.

"Your...what?" Sean asked her.

**REVIEWS GUYS! What do you want to happen?! **


	38. Hot Mess

Jay paced back and forth.

"Relax man, this isn't your problem." Sean said, sitting at the dining room and getting dizzy and more dizzy from Jay's walking around.

"RELAX!?" sneered Jay at him. This was going to RUIN Emma.

Ellie couldn't sit, she stood in the entrance of the kitchen, teary eyed, "Sean, I'm so sorry." she said for like , the 100th time

"El, it's okay." whispered Sean, not wanting to stress her out or anything. He just, he didn't ever plan to be a father..ever. And when he did, he honestly thought if he did it'd be with Emma in like years because she would of probably wanted to.. Him and Ellie never talked about this so it was scaring him. Ellie wasn't ready, he wasn't ready, this baby was going to be in for a ride. But it'd probably be a pretty damn cute baby.

Then there was the whole, telling Emma part and breaking his best friends heart.

"It's 'okay'?!" taunted Jay, looking between them both like wild animals, "What the hell is wrong with you two!"

"Your panicking more than me." growled Sean and got up, walking to him, "Just relax!"

_**BAM!**_

Sean whipped his bloody nose, giving Jay a look of disbelief from on the ground and Ellie gasped, covering her mouth. Sean looked up in confusion, "What the hell was the for!?"

Jay clenched his fist that he hit Sean hard with pretty hard and panted from anger but then stared and coughed slightly. Fuck.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out and Sean eyed him closer and began to glare.

Sean got up and spat blood on the floor before nodding, "I knew it," he wagged his finger like he figured out, "I always **knew it** in the back of my mind." he stood nose to nose with Jay angrily, "You're in love with Emma or something."

Meanwhile, everyone was so tense they left the door open, and in came Mel, and stopped in her steps beside Ellie when she heard that.

"What?!" she looked between the two, and over at the stranger beside her. What the fuck was going on!?

Both guys stared wide eyed at her

"Way to go Cameron," Jay sneered at him, looking back at Sean, "Wanna wreck anything else tonight?"

"Does it matter? You just used her anyways." Spat Sean but did look a bit guilty.

Jay looked back to Mel who put her hands on her hips and his mouth opened to then look down for a moment "I'm sorry." he said softly, and meant it. He just, he couldn't care about other girls the way he did Emma.

Mel couldn't believe it, shaking her head confused at him and looked like she was going to lash out but then Ellie shoved by her crying and ran out

"ELLIE!" Sean stepped forward but stopped and huffed. He needed to be alone too. Think this all through. Ellie could live here? Yea. That'd be fine. He'd drop out of school...get a job-

"Someone please tell me whats going on." Mel pleaded, giving Jay eyes full of hurt that he couldn't look at.

Sean looked at her and glared to Jay, "Tell her Jay. You seem so 'mighty' over my problems, why don't you tell her yours?" the two glared hatefully at another.

"Jay?" she asks.

Sean raised an eyebrow, "Tell her how you want **my girlfriend."**

"Is she really **yours? **I think you fucked that up yourself, Sean." sneered Jay and the two stepped threateningly toward another like they were gonna fight but Mel grabbed Jay's arm.

"Is this true?!" she yelled at him. Emma!? He really loved Emma!? She was hurt, but she knew he didn't love her but his own best friends girlfriend..somebody SHE even knew?!

"Mel.." drifted Jay, going to explain

Mel had to ask, "_Are you_ in love with her?" silence, "you know, I was really falling in love with you Jay"

"Quite the irony huh?" Sean spat, "Jay never feels a thing and when he finally does, its not with the girl he's with but also infact with a girl way out of his league."

Jay turned back to Sean, "Think I don't know that? Least I can accept it! What are you doing with her? YOu think** you** deserve her? Look what you are **doing **to her! Your trash! And you knocking up some slut behind her back just proved it."

Sean punched Jay and Jay madly grabbed Sean and punched him back.

"STOP IT!" yelled Mel, shoving in between the two and Jay lifted his hands up, not wanting to hit her but Sean always being the more angry one went to move around Mel to get to Jay, but then Mel even slapped Sean, leaving a loud echo as everyone fell quiet.

Sean stared in shock at his stinging face

Mel just turned and pointed at Jay with tears in her eyes, "We're done, Jay." she turned back to Sean, "And if you really do have a baby on it's way, maybe you should _grow the fuck up_."

Both looked put into shock as Mel stormed out of the house. Sean, not only have a stinging cheek but also a possible broken nose from Jay. And Jay stood with a split lip from the blow Sean gave him, and his biggest darkest secret was out of the bag.

fuck.

ONE DAY LATER...

It was a bright and shiny day and Emma happily skipped up Jay and Sean's porch stairs and went to the door, knocking on it. She wore a little yellow summer dress and her hair slightly curled.

But when the door opened, inside was anything but bright and happy. Jay stood there, a split lip on the right side and wearing dark jeans with a maroon shirt. It was near noon, and it looked like Jay was going nowhere and in no mood

He saw Emma, and her heart fell a bit when he nearly sneered and turned but left the door open

Emma came in and looked around, place looked fine. What happened to Jay's face? She closed the door behind her, "Hey." she said softly and asked, "Wheres Sean?"

"Don't know, don't care." snapped Jay, going back up the stairs and left her

Emma's shoulders dropped, watching him go and then snapped out of it. Sean told her to meet him here? What the hell. .. probably too busy with Ellie.

Emma scoffed and shook her head, walking to the kitchen and just sat down at the table as her cell phone rang..

She grabbed it out of her purse and picked it up, "Sean?"

"Hey.." he breathed rather weakily, Emma could tell something was up.

"Where are you? I'm at your house.."

"Em."

Emma waited, but nothing came. "what's wrong?" she asked.

Behind her, Jay was coming down but she was too wrapped up in the conversation.

Sean finally answered, "I've been...a _horrible_ boyfriend to you, Em."

Emma froze and then tried to blink, "What are you saying? Why are you doing this over the phone." her eyes were getting teary. Was he going to admit it? That he was cheating on her?

Jay stopped by the entrance, keeping quiet and looking at Emma's retreated back in the dining room chair. Over the phone, nice one Cam, you coward.

"This was a mistake." Sean told her, "I should of met you there, I was just scared."

"then come home." Emma's voice cracked.

"I wanna," he breathed, "But everythings different now. **We're different** now, Em."

Silence.

More silence.

Emma twirled the ring Sean gave her on her finger, then clenched her hand into a fist, fighting her tears.

"this isn't right." he finally said, "I-I shouldn't be doing this over the phone, I feel like a shithead but you know that I am, and that I'm a weak piece of-"

"You're not..." she said softly, hearing him putting himself down so hard. She hasn't exactly been 100% faithful either or honest. She was in love with his best friend this whole time..

"Why do you do that? Why can you still care about me when you know I have horrible things to tell you and that I said I was a horrible boyfriend. I sure as hell been proving that.. hurting you, avoiding you, wrecking plans"

"Cause I know you care about me." Emma at least knew that.

Silence again.

"I do." he whispered.

More silence

Emma bit her lip just wishing he'd come home so they can talk about this. Face to face. Fine, they didn't need to date, ya it was a horrible decision to get back together near a fragile time but she still needed Sean in her life even as just a friend. He meant a lot to her, known another since kids, been through thick and thin. If he didn't face her with this, they were just gonna go back to hating another

"I can't go home right now. Can't face you, can't face Jay right now.. I'll try to see you when I can." Suddenly he hung up with just that and Emma's mouth fell.

She looked down at her phone and from behind her, Jay wondered what the hell just happened. It was dead quiet, and he heard her snuffle. Did Sean tell her? Did they break up.

Jay stepped forward, and Emma sat up hearing his footsteps and she whipped her tears away and couldn't face him. She stopped crying, and kept wishing in his head he'd just go away. He made it harder.

"You okay?" she heard his husky voice behind her

Funny, that coming from him. He was the master of hurting her, taking her for granted. All the things above.

"fine." she nearly spat, not turning and ran a hand through her hair. She then closed her eyes, trying to take a deep breath.

Jay pierced his lips from standing directly behind her and he went to turn to leave her alone, but he couldn't. He cursed silently and turned back.

Emma stared at the table, trying to listen for signs he was gone but then her heart caved in. She didn't _want_ him to go.

Jay went back behind Emma as she leaned back on the chair and he bent his body down a bit and pushed the hair off her shoulder like he did the other night, and he kissed her neck deeply, hungrily but slowly and Emma shut her eyes, gasping but moaning.

He wrapped an arm around the front of her and she rest her small hands on his arm. Emma whimpered, her body tensing when his other hand went down her shoulder to down the front of her dress and groped her breasts and she whimpered more, turning her head and he crashed his lips to hers.

She kissed him back full of want and bliss and his arm that was around her, let go for the hand to crawl up the middle of her skirt. Emma leaned more against the chair, crying out into their kiss before pulling away and panting as he fingered her from behind and his other hand kept tending to her beautiful chest. Emma sat there, dress pulled up, and down, as Jay stood behind (fully clothed) and only tending to her and to only make her feel good.

"you're too good for him." he whispered huskily in her ear and pushed his fingers deeper into her wetness and her hands clung to the side of the chair she sat on, trembling and moaning for Jay not to stop.

And he wouldn't.

She was shoved up onto the table, and Jay had just plunged into her and her eyes widened, gasping and gripping his shoulders tightly.

He let her get use to it again until she moaned and her eyes fluttered, until she moved with him and they guided together, breathing heavily.

"Harder." she wanted to feel him.

Jay grunted and did as told, and his hands gripped tightly around her ass to pull her up to meet his thrusts and Emma cried out pleasurably. His forehead sweat, trying to keep this going as long as he could, but they were reaching their end. She fell back down on the table, arching her back and coming hard as he also shouted her name and came.

His head laid on her chest now, still lying on the table, his feet on the ground. Her heart pounded so hard and he listened to it, closing his eyes and her fingers swayed through his hair. He was still panting, and swallowed hard.

This was quite the mess.

He looked up, and kissed her deeply with is eyes closed softly and she melted into the kiss. When she cupped his face, he felt something and broke off the kiss. He took her hand and looked at one of her fingers, Sean's ring he gave her still on it.

Emma was catching her breath and looked at it to, then into Jay's eyes. They were unreadable, which made her angry wishing she knew what he was thinking. Was he feeling guilty? Or jealous? Or none of the above..

_No good for her. Stay away. Let her find a better man.. _

Jay stood up buttoning his jeans and sadly avoided her eyes but helped pull her dress back down as she sat up numbly.

He was just going to forget about it? Again?

Emma swallowed her cry. He clearly didn't want her. Used her up good some of the time though. And now, neither did Sean want her. She watched him painfully walk away. Her heart smashed into pieces...


End file.
